Holy Crap. Please Explain How You Managed To Find The Exact Right Words For This. Because I Am Amazed

Holy crap. Please explain how you managed to find the exact right words for this. Because I am amazed

The Closet

i’ve never posted my writing anywhere before but this was so personal to me and i haven’t stopped reading it since i wrote it, so now i guess i hand it off to you. i wrote this at a very low point in my life and, while i am certainly doing better now, i still feel the emotions expressed in this piece quite often. being closeted is hard– it hurts. it really hurts. so, here goes! my writing, now yours as well.

March 3, 2019, 1:07am

Prompt: You knock louder and louder on the door, but nobody answers.

Banging. Thudding. Pounding. Kicking. I’m slamming at the door. I’m trapped, I’m claustrophobic, I’m scared; but worst of all– I’m alone. I have been in here for too long and I’m ready to leave. I miss my friends, I miss my family… I miss the truth. I miss the days when I didn’t see the walls, when it was harder to notice the harsh divide. But almost just as scary- if not scarier- as this deafening isolation is the potential of what’s on the other side of the door. What if it’s worse? I can’t know. “If only the door would just open!” I keep saying to myself. But in my heart of hearts I know it’s for naught. Because this is a door I can only open myself. And I imagine what the world on the other side is like. I fantasize about flying through the door in a burst of color and light, finally happy, finally smiling. A real smile. Not the smile blocked by the walls. A smile that says “I’m free! I’m here! I’m out!” But for now I remain incarcerated. It’s hard to justify, though. Feeling imprisoned when you are your own jailor.

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Poetry

Am I a man, a woman, neither, both or does it change from day to day?/ I honestly don’t know/ it just goes to show/ that almost nothing's as simple as it seems. / I dream of reams and reams/ of stories/ of the glories/ from a throne, from space, from a place/ in another universe./ I want to be free with my ideas. With myself/ But I can’t get them out because I’m afraid./ What will they say?/ Will they tell me to just pick straight or gay?/ Or will I be the target of their hate? Day to day, I worry. I can’t know./ Sometimes everything just sounds like a crow/ crowing “Nevermore!/ For evermore/ You will not be sure/ who your friends are./” I know I got the bird wrong/ but this is getting long/ and I haven’t even started to begin.


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Fun Fact: if someone is in the closet, hearing homophobic things makes them die inside a little

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HEYYYY guess what!!

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HEYYYY Guess What!!

a very happy anniversary to marcia kadish and tanya mccloskey❤️🏳️‍🌈

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Card House - Chapter 1 pt. 2

The room emptied faster than if someone had eaten twenty cans of beans the day before. The tall Club took off her helmet, and walked over to Jay. Jay simply tilted their head up a little bit, and smiled. “And to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit?” The Club looked down at them with a cold, unamused expression. “I don’t need the sass. I trust you remember me?” “Oh, yes! Captain Tally! How could I forget the time you tried to steal my girlfriend?” Alex tripped, realizing why Tally seemed so familiar. Tally had gotten a pretty drunk one night, and started flirting with Alex. She got way too grabby, and Jay has to escort Tally out. “I’m surprised the bruise isn’t s-still there,” Alex blurted out. Tally flushed slightly, and said “If you’re done with the snarky comments, then I’ll get to searching this place.” “Just don’t search Alex, and everything should be fine,” Jay responded, and started mixing a drink. The other Club started moving towards the stairs in the back, the Heart going for the back door, and the Diamond going for the ‘Employees Only’ door behind the bar.


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sinylene-blog - Sinylene
Sinylene

I’ve re-done this many times, might as well do it again. Hi! I’m Sinylene, or at least that’s what I like to go by on the internet. I also go by Noel. I use she/her. I don’t post super often, and when I do it’s probably either serious, a story, or a meme.

149 posts

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