Snow-that-is-in-colour-red - The Writer's Bastard

the only acceptable post-s10 continuation of the show without steve would have been a danny-centric sitcom spin-off in which he’s navigating life as a retired single dad while steve is away. steve never comes on screen, but danny is constantly on the phone with him for half of every episode, and while we don’t /hear/ steve, danny does enough indignant repeating of whatever steve just said that we can always follow their conversations perfectly. one episode is about a school camping trip charlie goes on that steve promised he’d join as a parent, so now danny has to sub for him and he’s very mad about it because camping, steve, camping. one entire episode is just about danny learning to fake steve’s signature because technically steve is still the head of five-0 because he never officially retired before he took off, so now the team needs his name on some paperwork and they plead with danny to do it because he knows steve best. (turns out the paperwork that danny thought was super important was to get an espresso machine in the office.) one episode is about danny wanting to have a quiet day to himself and read a book, but steve keeps frantically calling and texting him because steve is at chin’s place and is trying to make a pavlova but has no idea what he’s doing and needs baking tips. all of the other cast (lou, tani, junior, quinn, lincoln, adam) are still on the show, and in every single episode you see them running around in the background of wherever danny is, doing their five-0 jobs, but completely out of context because we have no clue what their actual case of the week is. they’re usually seen in the middle of dismantling a bomb or arresting an international diamond smuggler or ducking to avoid getting hit by bullets while danny is in the foreground, ignoring the possibly literal fire behind him because he’s busy buying malasadas while attempting to get steve to tell him why they suddenly can’t facechat anymore (the answer, as it turns out at the end of that episode, is that steve accidentally died his own hair orange). 

Me searching for my friends: Where the fuck?

When I locate friend 1: there the fuck

When I locate friend 2: there the fuck

When I locate friend 3: there the fuck

Me when I have located all my friends: all the fuck have been located

happy fucking birthday sad-ist and congrats for carrying this fandom on your back, who would we be without you

"You smoke?"

Tommy looked over at Schlatt. He was shaking a cigarette out of a pack and into his hand. Where he'd gotten it, Tommy didn't know. It was the afterlife; he didn't expect drugs to be in the afterlife.

"Fuckin'... no, I don't smoke," He huffed back, "What do you fuckin'..."

Schlatt shrugged, brought the cigarette to his lips, produced a lighter, and lit up. "Your loss."

Wilbur had warned Tommy that occasionally they'd fade in and out. The afterlife wasn't a concrete plane to be in, he'd said, so Tommy should prepare for him to pop in and out occasionally.

Tommy had thought he was ready. He was not.

He'd clung to the man ever since he'd died. He was the only person he had left who cared. At least, the only person he had left who cared and he could still talk to. And even if Wilbur was only going to be gone for a little bit (though time worked so strangely here, who really knew?), Tommy wasn't ready for that separation.

And he sure as hell wasn't ready to be left alone with Jschlatt.

He didn't like kids, that much was obvious. Or anyone, really.

Apparently he and Wilbur had talked quite a bit before Tommy's arrival, which Tommy couldn't blame him for; Wilbur had to talk to somebody, and until now the afterlife didn't have any options except for the previous tyrant. But the moment Schlatt had seen Tommy, palpable disgust had formed on his face and he had fled the scene.

That was fine by Tommy. He didn't like Tommy, and Tommy didn't like him.

But now that Wilbur was gone for a while, being around Schlatt was better than being alone.

Schlatt coughed after a drag. Tommy eyed him uneasily.

Schlatt didn't have scars, Tommy was noticing. Wilbur did. He had a big ugly one in his chest from where Phil had stabbed him, gaping and hard to ignore. Schlatt, having not died to something so physical, had no such thing. But his eyes looked vacant, tired, and bloodshot, and drool seemed to constantly drip down his chin. Disgusting motherfucker, Tommy thought.

It did get him thinking, though. He hadn't seen himself once since his death. When he'd asked Wilbur about his gash, Wilbur had confessed that all the injuries they'd received subsequent to their death would probably remain and hurt forever. Tommy himself had aches all over his body; Dream had done a number on him. He was left with a head that pounded almost constantly and a body that throbbed with every movement.

He wondered how he looked.

He cleared his throat and called, "Oi, bitch."

Schlatt looked to him, unimpressed. "Hm?"

"Ey, uh... so we're all a bit ghost-y now, yeah?"

"Sure."

"You gots your little... red... devil horns, 'n Wilbur's got his scar..." Tommy crossed his arms, "... What do I look like?"

Schlatt took pause, pulling the cigarette from his mouth. His lips fell to a frown as he scanned Tommy up and down, his eyes filling up with something that was almost, almost pity. Tommy's stomach sank; that didn't bode well.

Schlatt tore his eyes away from him and shook his head, gaze cast down.

Tommy swallowed nervously. "Well?"

The only thing Schlatt said after a long pause was, "Stay away from mirrors, kid."

ALNST MY BELOVED

i would like to propose a new fanon part of cwilburs design: a small cut in his face, from when ctommy hit him with the sword :)

Wait.

“I want to believe that desert is where people start anew and figure out who they were supposed to be in this grand life of ours.” He dreamed of a grand, spacious desert that served as a blank slate where he could start over and become the person he’s meant to be.

And in the end, he’s standing in a large desert, laughing and screaming with unbridled joy about how he gets to go home, a place where he can start anew with a blank slate. And he gets the rest of his life to figure out the person he’s meant to be.

Tone it down you guys

Another sketch commission 💜

wilbur's perspective on parenthood is rooted only in tallulah's emotional wellbeing, but that neglects her physical wellbeing. wilbur is similar to tallulah in that both of them are rather new to the world, and neither understand the atrocities that have already taken place. wilbur believes that he only needs to emotionally equip tallulah, and he can take care of the rest. he frequently tells her how much he loves her, he sings to her, he goes the extra mile to make sure she knows that he's proud of her. all of this is great and absolutely necessary, but wilbur is not giving her the final necessary thing in this world: physical protection. he doesn't understand that he won't always be there to protect her, even though he knows that he'll literally be away for long periods of time. he doesn't understand how easy it is for these eggs to break. he doesn't understand that people will kill her for the sake of killing her. and as a result, he doesn't feel the need to give her armor or weapons. wilbur thinks that he can protect her physical wellbeing because he'll always be there, but he's mistaken. at least if she dies, she'll do so knowing that she's loved. but she'll be dead anyway, and it'll be wilbur's fault.