Curate, connect, and discover
Wilbur doesn't know why he knows the steps. It feels like a dance you remember only in a hazy state. Walking beside a small kid, careful not to trip into her stride feels right. He feels like something overtakes him to speak in a gentler voice of reassurance. To sing her a song goodnight is instinct, not just as a musician but as something else. It feels so strange all of a sudden that he of all people is so careful with a child he's never met until that day. When he heard he was possibly a dad, he simply dismissed it like minor news. Akin to hearing you have a spider in your home or it's raining in 4 days, he'll get to it but it's nothing really.
But now he cares so much, he'd wreak havoc if anything happened to Tallulah. It feels like deja vu, like looking through a mirror to another world. A world where he has a special place surrounded by redwood trees and by the riverside. That other guy he's looking at, he's building everything up just for his own kid, with the same face of care and concerns as his own. He's singing some lullabies as him, matching the cadences and lyrics even if hushed and mumbled. He's teaching how to shoot a bow and arrow to his kid just like him, explaining the steps the same as him. He's leaving the kid soon just like the other, but at least he's trusting someone else to take care in his stead.
There's another kid, he realises. And that kid looks sad, in spite of the beautiful scenery. That kid is looking at walls, just like Tallulah. He's not living in much comfort or glamour, just like Tallulah. He's learning how to fend for himself with a bow and arrow, Tallulah will be like that soon. He's seen the dance, the rhythm of a deadbeat. And now its up to him to change the paces.
Will doesn't know why he pauses in faint recollection when a memory doesn't exist. It's merely a dream from a bygone night, but what's a memory but not a dream you've seen before. Yet when remembers walking through the forest and a flash of red fur snickering, he doesn't understand why a pang of burrowing feelings hits him.
And that feeling turns to drive, a desire to be at least the best dad he can be for now. For Tallulah and for that lonely kid he doesn't remember.
wilbur's perspective on parenthood is rooted only in tallulah's emotional wellbeing, but that neglects her physical wellbeing. wilbur is similar to tallulah in that both of them are rather new to the world, and neither understand the atrocities that have already taken place. wilbur believes that he only needs to emotionally equip tallulah, and he can take care of the rest. he frequently tells her how much he loves her, he sings to her, he goes the extra mile to make sure she knows that he's proud of her. all of this is great and absolutely necessary, but wilbur is not giving her the final necessary thing in this world: physical protection. he doesn't understand that he won't always be there to protect her, even though he knows that he'll literally be away for long periods of time. he doesn't understand how easy it is for these eggs to break. he doesn't understand that people will kill her for the sake of killing her. and as a result, he doesn't feel the need to give her armor or weapons. wilbur thinks that he can protect her physical wellbeing because he'll always be there, but he's mistaken. at least if she dies, she'll do so knowing that she's loved. but she'll be dead anyway, and it'll be wilbur's fault.
wilbur not wanting to be a father lines up with his fears. he doesn't want to give tallulah any weapons or armor because he wants her to just "be a kid." he doesn't want to expose her to atrocities and wants to keep her happy at all times. however, this isn't realistic for the world they live in. horrible things have already taken place. kids have died already, and their parents have gone on murderous rampages as a result. even beyond that, mobs will try to attack the children. wilbur is scared of tallulah being hurt and shown what the world is really like, but the catch is that those things are inevitable. there will be a point where tallulah will have to fight, where she'll see what grief does to a person, where she will have to protect herself, and wilbur is deathly afraid of that. the one thing wilbur is afraid of is the one thing he can't avoid.
it just makes me soo like wilbur didnt want to be a father at first and now he's teaching tallulah to love because he believes it triumphs over everything...he wants to protect her with a thin wall between her and reality, from everything complicated, from fighting up close, in order to be safe. Safe enough to live, and to never face anything that could destroy love. It won't last forever, something will throw a wrench in that. Whether she runs into danger regardless, or she watches him from afar (just like he taught her, with the bow) dying for her. Whether her family is ripped from her, or she believes one day love isn't enough.
okay im gonna be aggressive about this actually wil doesn't get to show up after two weeks of phil being the second best dad on the entire fucking server (after roier) and start throwing implications about phil being a terrible father and the fandom eating it up
like wil is Objectively Incorrect that phil shouldn't be raising his kids as warriors. tallulah Will die if she doesn't at least get armor and a sword for self defense. phil's house seems paranoid but chayanne would be dead now if not for it.
qsmp phil is a good dad actually no matter how much wil wants to give his own character some angst at phil's expense