Gavin: I have made a top 10 list of people important to me.
Gavin, taking a folded piece of paper out of his pocket: Number 10 is "I can tolerate you more than most people" And then 1 is "You could steal a lung, my entire left leg and my liver to sell on the black market and I would probably thank you." So, basically-
Nines, deadpan: They wouldn't take your liver, you've destroyed it with alcohol already.
Gavin: ...
Gavin, unfolding the paper: Tina, hand me that pen.
Gavin: You've just been demoted to number 5.
Nines: Where was I before?
Gavin: 9.
Gavin, editing the list: It's a demotion because the more important you are to me, the more I'll inconvenience you.
Chris: Trust me, you don't want to get to number 1.
~~~A few weeks later~~~
Tina, standing up and getting everyone's attention: Important update! Nines has made it to number 1 and Gavin just informed me that they probably won't be here today. I'm giving $50 dollars to whoever guesses what happened correctly.
Hank: Gavin fell down the stairs and convinced Nines that he broke something so he had to go to the hospital!
Tina, writing it down: Wouldn't doubt it, next!
Captain Fowler, walking out of the break room with fresh coffee: Gavin did some dumbass shit and Nines finally got sick of it so Gavin sent that before Nines killed him
Tina: Creative but very probable!
*Many more scenarios are listed until people run out of ideas*
~~~About an hour later~~~
Gavin, walking into the DPD and clocking in: Hey!
Nines in tow, smirking: We apologize for being late.
Gavin, walking with a small limp: ...
Connor: I KNEW IT! OFFICER CHEN, FORK IT OVER
Tina: DAMMIT, YOURE GOOD!
If ur arabic ur great If ur arabic and muslim ur great If ur arabic and queer ur great If ur arabic and muslim and queer ur great I know it seems hard to believe but you’re not bad you’re not awful
I don’t know where this is from, but I found it in a thread on Facebook and I am CRYING
HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS I’VE GOT 7 DAYS TO FIGURE OUT MONEY. OBVIOUSLY I’M WORKING WITH INSURANCE AND THE BANK TO BUMP THAT NUMBER DOWN BUT FOR NOW i’M PUTTING UP A GOFUNDME
https://www.gofundme.com/44dk6u-help-me-pay-for-top-surgery&rcid=r01-154394855837-1e28212ab0844ef2&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w
Any amount, even just a few dollars, would be a big help from you guys!
Gavin: Haha, you ever have that feeling where you're so hungry that you feel full so you won't eat? And then you'll feel light headed? And then you won't have enough nutrition to continue to be conscious for-
Gavin, falling unconscious: Fuck...
The rest of the DPD: ...
Tina, calling over Nines: This happens all the time, he'll be fine
Also very valid
Me, in 50 years: I still remember the day when Elijah Kamski created androids.
Grandchild: Granny, that never happened.
Me, sobbing: They just wanted to be free…
Icon by: fruits-i | Header by: Octopunkmedia | I will never get over Detroit Evolution and that is a PROMISE. | July 22 | My name is. coincidentally, Reid, pronounced Reed | He/They | Agender | Gay | Polyam | I'm VERY short and if you're under 5' 5, you legally can't make fun of me or you'll be finef. Sorry, I don't make the rules, I just enforce them
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