Me, in 50 years: I still remember the day when Elijah Kamski created androids.
Grandchild: Granny, that never happened.
Me, sobbing: They just wanted to be free…
If ur arabic ur great If ur arabic and muslim ur great If ur arabic and queer ur great If ur arabic and muslim and queer ur great I know it seems hard to believe but you’re not bad you’re not awful
w h a t
Okay but I have chronic kidney infections and it's ALWAYS my left kidney so ???
Gavin: I have made a top 10 list of people important to me.
Gavin, taking a folded piece of paper out of his pocket: Number 10 is "I can tolerate you more than most people" And then 1 is "You could steal a lung, my entire left leg and my liver to sell on the black market and I would probably thank you." So, basically-
Nines, deadpan: They wouldn't take your liver, you've destroyed it with alcohol already.
Gavin: ...
Gavin, unfolding the paper: Tina, hand me that pen.
Gavin: You've just been demoted to number 5.
Nines: Where was I before?
Gavin: 9.
Gavin, editing the list: It's a demotion because the more important you are to me, the more I'll inconvenience you.
Chris: Trust me, you don't want to get to number 1.
~~~A few weeks later~~~
Tina, standing up and getting everyone's attention: Important update! Nines has made it to number 1 and Gavin just informed me that they probably won't be here today. I'm giving $50 dollars to whoever guesses what happened correctly.
Hank: Gavin fell down the stairs and convinced Nines that he broke something so he had to go to the hospital!
Tina, writing it down: Wouldn't doubt it, next!
Captain Fowler, walking out of the break room with fresh coffee: Gavin did some dumbass shit and Nines finally got sick of it so Gavin sent that before Nines killed him
Tina: Creative but very probable!
*Many more scenarios are listed until people run out of ideas*
~~~About an hour later~~~
Gavin, walking into the DPD and clocking in: Hey!
Nines in tow, smirking: We apologize for being late.
Gavin, walking with a small limp: ...
Connor: I KNEW IT! OFFICER CHEN, FORK IT OVER
Tina: DAMMIT, YOURE GOOD!
Okay but you ain't wrong
gays just be like hands rebirth through water tenderness cowboys repression nature longing
Too many people overlook how cute boys with brown eyes are. If you’re a boy with brown eyes and you’re reading this, guess what; you cute.
Gavin: What do you think would happen if I took my sleeping medication and then drank an entire Rockstar energy drink?
Nines: I don't know but, please don't find out
Gavin, looking Nines directly in the eye: Only one way to find out.
Gavin, taking the sleeping pill and then drinks the entire energy drink: ...
Nines: You're feral and natural selection is coming for you.
Icon by: fruits-i | Header by: Octopunkmedia | I will never get over Detroit Evolution and that is a PROMISE. | July 22 | My name is. coincidentally, Reid, pronounced Reed | He/They | Agender | Gay | Polyam | I'm VERY short and if you're under 5' 5, you legally can't make fun of me or you'll be finef. Sorry, I don't make the rules, I just enforce them
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