I always feel kind of uneasy when people who are apologizing say, "I don't even know who the person who did that was. They feel like a totally different person from who I really am."
Sweetie, I'm sorry, but you have to get to know that person. If this person you apparently detest on every level just occasionally hijacks your body and does something awful, your understanding of how and when and why that happens is essential to your ability to promise anyone else that they won't be on the receiving end of that.
It might sound a little backward, that the key to avoiding destructive behaviour is not forcibly repressing that detestable energy inside yourself. You can deny those feelings and force them into exile, but they're going to come back and take over sometime in the future when your defences are down.
If self-loathing actually got shit done, I'd still be in favour of it. Unfortunately, it's only good at satisfying emotions in the short run, so you can really feel like you're putting in serious effort. It's not a winning strategy if you want to genuinely change your behaviour or thought patterns or emotional responses.
Self-reflection is not supposed to be a lesson in flagellating yourself. It is more brutal and gentler, because it rakes over the twisted shards of what happened in your mind with the dispassion of an engineer assessing a bridge collapse and says, "What really happened here? How can we prevent it from happening again in the future?"
It's possible to get to know your shadow, but not be consumed by it. You could eventually feel able to turn over the rocks in your brain, and catalogue and understand all the things squirming beneath. The shame won't kill you.
And being able to understand your triggers and tells, spotting your brain taking off before it's completely left atmosphere, is an incredibly important part of that.
old man yaoi?
Mob Psycho 100?? More like Mob 'why are all these characters just different flavors of autistic holy shit'..... 100!!!!!
Click on image for better resolution. Also an ID below, in case the text is too small to read:
[ID: art of Mob, Tsubomi, Tome, Ritsu and Serizawa from Mob Psycho 100, with a list of autistic symptoms below them. The background is beige and behind each character is a square mismatch of colors unique to them as a background.
Mob:
He is wearing his school uniform and smiling lightly. The background colors are saturated blues, cyans, pinks and reds, which are swirling in a liquid like fashion. Below, text reads:
Polite little autistic boy
flat affect
alexithymia
perpetually confused
attempts to mask, just ends up appearing a different type of ‘weird’ as a result
low empathy, high compassion
really strict moral integrity
didn’t have a special interest for the longest time due to repressing himself
disassociating king :(
comorbid inattentive type ADHD
Tsubomi:
She is wearing her school uniform, staring ahead with a bored, uninterested expression. The colors behind her are dark and sharp browns, violets and reds. Below, text reads:
Girlboss
masking queen
low empathy
can’t read social cues but has mastered the art of scripting and being polite and pretty to escape ostracization
hard time connecting to people
often acts unintentionally rude/blunt
stubborn
actually cares a whole lot about people she really considers friends
Tome:
She is also wearing the uniform, leaning her chin on her hand and flapping the other hand excitedly as she rambles about something. The colors behind her are a bright yellow, green and orange, formed as circles and some sharp edges. Below, text reads:
Weird Girl
stimming galore
loud™
special interest in the occult/aliens
finds herself only connecting to people through that interest
emotional dysregulation
comorbid hyperactive ADHD
barely passing grades
probably spends hours on random wikipedia articles
Ritsu:
He is wearing a yellow hoodie, looking to the side and finger raised in confusion. The colors behind him are green, orange and magenta, and they are swirling in a kind of square vortex around him. Below, text reads:
just a little hater
sounds /neg
has a selective wardrobe of comfy clothes cause textures,,,
has no idea what friends are
special interest in psychic powers
spoons are a comfort item
denied he was autistic for a long time because “wdym, i’m completely normal. Look how well adjusted I am.”
comorbid OCD
Serizawa:
He's wearing his usual suit and smiling, eyes closed with the grin, his hands clasped together at his chest. The colors behind him are cyans, blues, greens and magentas, some lines, some circles. Below, text reads:
gamer .....
self isolation as an (unhealthy) coping mechanism
uses comfort items
emotions also be dysregulating but like,, he’s learning to deal with it
high empathy
missed out on a lot of milestones, but it’s okay, he’s catching up :)
special interest in video games
finds comfort in dark, tight spaces
comorbid social anxiety
End ID.]
Extending even more my point, after he started working for Reigen, ONE made sure to write Serizawa in good moments. He made a friend, went to a New Years' Party, became the backbone of S&S and is depicted smiling many times. Even on the future omake, where Mob and Reigen are trying to deal with Mob's boss so he doesn't get fired, Serizawa is just... fishing. And he got his first catch and he's so happy about it. Compare this to Reigen being miserable for purposes of comedy every now and then.
I understand when people say to the ones who coddle adult male characters that they're "a grown ass man with dick and balls", but I don't think this applies that well to Serizawa Katsuya because ONE made this ex-terrorist a little too cute in my opinion.
Wait what's a buildings fire evacuation plan if you aren't supposed to use the elevator to get down
ive found that partially treated mental illness can sometimes look to uninvolved onlookers like faked mental illness.
Putting bioessentialist up on the high shelf until tumblr users understand that it's not just a word for when someone says genders are different
I made this poorly made collage as a example of what I'm saying. He is too polite and embarressed, how could people not think he's really cute despite working for Claw for 3 years?
I understand when people say to the ones who coddle adult male characters that they're "a grown ass man with dick and balls", but I don't think this applies that well to Serizawa Katsuya because ONE made this ex-terrorist a little too cute in my opinion.
I decided to delete that shitposting of Sol because I didn't asked the artist if I could use their image, so this is probably a good decision. Plus, it had 0 interaction on the post, which actually made me a little frustated because I was sure it was a banger.
just came up with a great idea for a novel and then imagined a bunch of amazing concept art for it. so yeah i'd say today has been very productive
Autistic/ADHD adult | The biggest fan of Sol in the 21th Century
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