Ever Wake Up After Having Spoken To Multiple People And Have, Like, A Socializing-hangover? "I Feel So

New lesbian code: hey, wanna split that cookie?

BEES ARE UNICORNS!

The sweet, unrivaled joy of finally finding a toilet when you have to take a monumental piss <3

Just because people don't like a thing doesn't mean they're snobs who are shaming others for liking the thing. Let people not like things.

My flirting level: Kenneth

Revenge Utopia

Where diurnals have to keep the noise level down during the day so nocturnals can get some friggin sleep.

Where the housed have a sunset curfew to keep the houseless safe.

Where various public servants are treated "like servants."

Where it's widely considered weird and gross to force someone to eat in a bathroom - including infants.

Where being attracted to someone regardless of their genitals is the default you see depicted, and not liking someone because of their genitalia is something you're fine with, you just don't want it influencing the children.

Where the common myth is that gay or het exists only as a phase before they grow out of liking one gender.

Where Duck Dynasty was cancelled after one season, and Firefly was renewed for ten.

Where the phrase "but they're your family" emphasizes how fucked up something is, not how much more "forgivable."

Racist piece of human-shaped dog shit: “Our concentration camps weren’t like the Nazi concentration camps though.” Me: “Murica! Our concentration camps are the best concentration camps! USA!USA!USA!”

Love is knowing your person would snort coke off your boobs if they did coke.

I've never seen a sex scene or post-sex scene in a movie or tv show in which any of the characters try repeatedly to pull a stray body hair from their mouth, and this was probably the most unrealistic expectation I received from Hollywood as a teen.

Is there a word for "suspicious yet thorough enjoyment of compliments which causes intense self-consciousness?" There needs to be.