Latest Posts by some-rando-blog1 - Page 2

Bilbo: wait I get it now. The dragon is a metaphor for greed and power. We need to ‘defeat’ it by being humble when we get the treasure.

Thorin: Bilbo, for the last time, it’s a real dragon and it has my gold

The character development for Steve in Season Two was like anti-nausea meds for the vomit-inducing teen soap that was Nancy's love life in Season One.

❤️💙🖤💛

Alliterative adjective names like "nervous Nellie," but used when someone is flamboyantly displaying their preferences, or acting like their state of being is the universal standard. "Okay, poly Polly." "Whatever monogamous Molly." "Easy there, dominant Dominic."

Friend: "What's your favorite food?" Me: "Synthetic neurotransmitters." Friend: "What?" Me: "What?"

Workout time! Does vigorous masturbation count as a warm up?

TERFs be like

you can’t masturbate away the depression but that won’t stop me from trying

Not being able to afford your drugs is a hell of a drug.

When they say "make love, not war," but your cock ring is stretchy enough to shoot at your partner like a rubber band.

I've decided I'm going to refer to "humble bragging" as "the glass is half full of yourself."

Why is there not an ice cream delivery service?

I demand answers.

Fat-Shaming Is Not "Just Like Racism."

Fat-shaming is harmful. Fat-shaming is counter-intuitive to the supposed intent of the shamer. Fat-shaming is wrong. It is not, however, "just like racism." Fat amounts can fluctuate. A thin person can once have been fat, and can become fat again. A fat person can once have been thin, and can become thin again. For some, this can happen because that's just what someone's body is inclined to do at certain times in their life, while others may find they are able to make changes through changes in diet and exercise; others still may do so through surgery. This does not necessarily mean that they SHOULD do these things - simply that it is possible. Race CANNOT fluctuate. A white person cannot have at one point been indigenous to the Americas. A native of Paraguay cannot in the future be native to Sweden. A white person will not ever know what it is to be a person of color. These things are both wrong; they are not the same.

Letting Go of a Crush: a Haiku

My sweet, you and I Are like pineapple pizza We should never be.

Writing Tips

Nipples are very effective on a touch screen phone.

The real reason I became a vegetarian.

A new fun thing I started doing: eating ice cream while reading particularly toxic "thinspirational" vitriol.

People love to say variations of “you have to love yourself first in order to be loved,” and lament over how people who’ve killed themselves or tried to kill themselves “have people who love them, even if they didn’t know it.” Fuck you. Figure this shit out. Stop telling people that no one will love them if they don’t love themselves. You’re hurting a lot of people by perpetuating the myth.

BEES ARE UNICORNS!

"Pretty pretty rainbow!" -Me "YOU'RE a pretty pretty rainbow!" -My S.O.

Fuck ageism. When I get old, I'm gonna be like "DAMN, these are some FINE lines."

“She forgot her knife that morning.” Some things come out pretty fucking ominous when I narrate my day.

“Love is influenced by no consideration, recognizes no restraints of reason, and is the same nature as death, that assails alike the lofty palaces of kings and the humble cabins of shepherds; and when it takes entire possession of a heart, the first thing it does is to banish fear and shame from it.” - excerpt from Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

The sweet, unrivaled joy of finally finding a toilet when you have to take a monumental piss <3

What would Scooby Doo?

I love learning little tidbits about real life in the Mormon Church. When my S.O. was a DJ for his Mormon youth gatherings in high school, he wasn't just a volunteer. It wasn't just a job they gave him. No, when they needed a new DJ, men from the church decreed that he was called upon by God to DJ the dances, and honest to fucking Christ, anointed him with oils so that he could answer God's call.

"How would you feel about some popcorn?" "My feelings for popcorn are eternal."

This ant and I are the same level of smooth.

Always unsure. [Via @nathanwpyle]

Connection noun con·nec·tion \kə-ˈnek-shən\ 1: What I would have if I could be around people, speak coherently, and make eye contact <see also: holy triad>

There's a dearth of terms for people in serious relationships that happen to be marriageless, so I call my person's parents my "outlaws." Feel free to steal my cheesy humor.