Humans Are Weird “Tears For Everything”

posts for people who hate freud: the sequel

Weird Humans: Supression of basic needs in face of greater goals.

Humans have a history of denying themselves basic needs in face of a greater goals. Some humans become so consumed by their set task that needs such as sleep, food, hydration, and safety are put aside. At The Gathering, one of the largest gaming conventions in Europe, a part of the volunteer crew is tasked with making rounds to check that people are following up on their basic needs for sustenance, sleep, and movement. Certain athlethes will abstain from physical contact, paeticularly sexual contact, to improve their focus before an event. Artists, office workers, soldiers, nurses - allmost every group of humans can bring forth a story, either from personal experience, or heresay, to underline the human ability to repress basic needs for a period to accomplish something.

And then you have the optimized aliens who have seen the light and have structured everything so that they have every need met at mostly any given time. Now, take this alien and put them in a group project with other humans. Who are of a mind to finish everything quickly and then slack for the rest of the allocated time. Because humans are experts at using external stimulants, such as caffeine and nicotine, to supress being tired or hunger. Because college is no joke and humans are good at riding the bullshit wave.

Imagine some haggard student introducing his alien friend to the great Student God: Bullshitticus, and his two lovely muses Thesaurata and Caffeinata. Alien never studied human religious practices and gets awed about the fact that there is a human deity dedicated to writing papers, and his muses are the personifications of a vocabulary and an external stimulant used to forcefully keep people awake. Of course human student is full of caffeine and running on spite and pizza, so they forget to mention that this god is an old tumblr meme (and aliens have actually made courses that study memes) so this Alien edits the Horrendous Human Handbook ™. The knowledge spreads and aliens are baffled. The humans familiar with this old meme will quietly laugh and pretend nothing is wrong, because humans are also masters of waiting to see if shit hits the fan in a hillarious manner.

NASA: we used to have 9 planets but we now only have 8 Pluto: Stop telling everyone I’m not a planet! NASA: Sometimes we can still hear its voice

Shuri: *can’t find Peter in the soul realm*

Shuri: *inhales*

Shuri: ROAD WORK AHEAD

2849647 teenagers who got dusted in the snap: UH YEAH I SURE HOPE IT DOES

Shuri: 

Shuri: oh no

i've seen a lot of different ideas in fics where morpheus has innate knowledge of when hob is dreaming about him, or where he can always see the dreams, or where he's automatically summoned to dreams about himself, etc

but i think i prefer the idea of some poor long-suffering low-level schmuck of a dream who's been forced to take on the appearance of morpheus over and over again for the last 600 years because apparently that's what this particular human wants to dream about (and fuck humans don't typically live this long do they?) and they're too aggrieved and mortified to ever think of telling their literal king about it

Clint: Just remember; what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Natasha: What didn’t kill me should have tried harder.

Clint: Natasha!

Natasha: What?! I’d appreciate a little follow through once in a while..

Clint: You’re never going to let that go, are you?

Natasha: ...Even you couldn’t kill me when you had the chance.

Clint (contemplation shows in his face as his eyes coming to rest on one of the hospital pillows): ...

Natasha: Do it you coward.

get out there and take on the world!!!!!!!!!!

the world is weak, you can take em. aim for the head

Hydra Agent: I lured you all to my lair because I crave the deadliest game-

Bucky: [nodding] Knife monopoly

Sam:

Sharon:

Hydra Agent: I was actually going to hunt you all for sport, but now I’m interested in whatever knife monopoly is.