Jim And Naomi Had To Be Tricked Into Family Dinner. Amos Not So Much.

You’re a hitman whose “hits” survive your assassination attempts, despite your sincere best efforts, only to die soon after each attempt by comical forces outside your control. The hitman community can’t be convinced you’re not the most creative comically effective assassin alive.

Natasha: *loses Clint in a crowd*

Natasha: this calls for drastic measures

Natasha: *shouts* HAWKEYE IS THE MOST USELESS AVENGER

Natasha:

Natasha: shit I forgot he’s deaf

Space Australia

This trend has probably died out, but screw it I’m gonna make this. It’s been well established that Humans could probably have a lot of weird adaptations that Aliens just... don’t have. The aliens get weirded out by humans a lot, especially when it comes to sneezing.

Human: *sneezes*

Alien: WHAT IN THE NAME OF LORELIAK WAS THAT?

Human: oh, just my allergies

Alien: What are... Alla-gees?

Human: oh, they’re just *VIOLENT SNEEZE* when your body thinks that something—like this dust— is a virus and tries to get rid of it. Humans sneeze all the time.

Alien: dust can make humans sick!

Human: ah, AH, *makes a stupid face*

Alien: AGHAJSKDLDKS

Human: nope. Not gonna sneeze.

——

Alien: Then, we’ll—

Human A:*tiny, delicate, high-pitched “ah-choo”

Other humans: *giggle at the sound*

Human A: *tiny sneeze*

Alien: um... A? Why are you making that sound?

Human B: omg their sneeze is so cute.

Alien: bodily protection against illness is... cute???

—

Human A sitting at a table with her dad: Alien, meet my dad

Alien: nice to meet you, conceiver of human A

Human A’s Dad: *sneezes so hard he hits his head on the table*

Alien: ... What?

For decades you’ve worked as a superhero protecting the city and its people. Your powers have been slowly killing you for years but you kept being a hero much to your doctor’s protest. The citizens are starting to take notice.

“I will avenge my brother’s death!” yelled the adventurer. “You have my bow” his archer companion said. “And my axe” said the warrior. “And your brother” said the Necromancer.