Sophisticated-trash - Unbetitelt

You feel the emotions of anyone you touch. You accidentally brush hands with the barista when they hand you your coffee. You’re the most scared you’ve ever been in your entire life.

Mother Earth: And to you, Human, I shall give you great Endurance and a thick skin, remarkable mimicry and visual tracking skills, strong inner bones which heal back even stronger when broken, an omnivorous diet with acute palates and resistance to most poisons, a pack organization, skin-stealing skills and the ability to throw things with ease and accuracy using your upper limbs, so you shall reign the hot savannahs and deserts as the greatest pursuit predator ever. Also as primates you shall not be bound to mating seasons and with your strong self-healing instincts and great adaptability, you shall rise and be numerous as ever.

Human: Mkay but what's that nice little red fruit outta there

Mother Earth: ... That's a pepper. Do not eat it, as it contains capsaicin, and you're still a mammal. This is a fruit for the birds.

Human: But it look tasty

Mother Earth: I mean, unless you want to be curling yourself down on utter pain, you should not...

Human: *already biting it* tast y

Mother Earth: HUMAN PLEASE STOP--

Human: *already crying, curling themself up down and shedding tears of pain*

Mother Earth: I told you. Stay away from that fruit

Human: *takes another bite despite the pain*

Mother Earth: What the everloving Big Bang, HUMAN PLEASE STOP IT'S TO YOUR OWN GOOD

Human: *crying* T A S T YYYY

Mother Earth: *concerned motherworld noises*

*In a meeting with the avengers*

Peter, sleep deprived: SKELETONS AREN’T SCARY.

Peter: WE’RE FILLED WITH PULSING, OOZING MEAT

Avengers: *horrified silence*

Peter: IT’S THE MEAT THAT’S SCARY

Peter: THE MEAT.

Tony: *sobbing* Peter wha-

Clint: Just remember; what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Natasha: What didn’t kill me should have tried harder.

Clint: Natasha!

Natasha: What?! I’d appreciate a little follow through once in a while..

Clint: You’re never going to let that go, are you?

Natasha: ...Even you couldn’t kill me when you had the chance.

Clint (contemplation shows in his face as his eyes coming to rest on one of the hospital pillows): ...

Natasha: Do it you coward.

Saturn and Neptune by Voyager II

Three months ago I pitched an idea for a party game. Today, ‘WHAT THE PLOT?!™’ is a real game and available for pre-order! I am so excited. Thank you everyone for your support!