Constantly In Awe At What People Can Survive And How They Can Be So Nice Even After All That

Im so tired of trump diaper jokes. So fucking tired. Maga people don't care, trump doesn't care, the people who have to wear incontinence products for medical reasons though? We notice and we care.

theres something about being disabled and needing to sit down constantly in public spaces that makes you notice how often benches are put up as tributes and memorials. and before i hit an age where i really started to need them as frequently i think i never fully understood the sentiment but now its become very endearing to me. a bit of relief and care for you in the name of someone who offered us the same… i dont think i had a point with this post but i hope everyone thats been memorialized as such knows how loved they were to become synonymous with respite even to total strangers

random musing.

something i really love about life right now is the silent wobble of solidarity when i see another person who has a movement disorder. i wobbled past a guy with cerebral palsy at the store and he raised his T-rex hand to me like it was a gang sign. hell yeah we may be wobbly but we’ll be wobbly together

the psych facility I stayed in at 17 didn’t give me a room due to my being a wheelchair user.

i was forced to sleep on an air mattress on the floor in the dayroom of the psych facility because they were “afraid i would fall”.

the dayroom was the “hub” of the facility. i had to try to sleep while patients were getting prepped for admission at the desk only a few feet from me. while people were getting blood drawn, meds administered, etc. i barely slept.

they also didn’t let me bring my own wheelchair in, and made me use a hospital wheelchair which was not fit to my orthopedic needs. my shoulders still ache when i see one of those fucking rust buckets.

psychiatric care is not safe for physically disabled people. if i have another mental health crisis, I will choose anything over going back to one of those places. i would rather die by my own hand than go back there and be subjected to that kind of treatment again.

inpatient psychiatric care is typically only for physically nondisabled people.

psych facilities will often simply turn you away if you have mobility aids or specific medical or access needs they are unwilling to meet. i have also heard stories of them doing things like taking away people's communication devices.

institutional psychiatric 'care' is a mixed blessing at best, but since it's what we have, it should be available to everyone who needs it. people with non-psychiatric disabilities are more likely than average, not less, to need this type of care. but it is often not available for us.

my bio mom is in the kitchen signing a card for her mom and i’m saying happy mother’s day to trans girls on the internet

i didn’t get her anything, not even a card

they’re better mothers than she could have ever been

me, autistic, so horny I could explode: I miss rules and tasks

really wish able bodied people would stop infiltrating SCI communities to ask about their back pain. that’s not what a fucking SCI is you two-legged fuckwit

I think people with brain damage and neurodegenerative diseases' unique position on brain/body duality is so heavily appropriated by others and used to speak over us or put words in our mouths that I don't think we're ever actually allowed to speak about it ourselves. That's a huge loss I think, because I think we really do have a lot to say that could be very beneficial to the community and disability rights as a whole. Even to our understanding of the human experience and its physical nature, I think.

To have your body tangibly damaged, and through it your entire world and self too, to be changed so intrinsically that it spans both the body and the very essence of self. The inseparability of your physical disabilities and who you are not just on a spiritual or social level but a tangible, physical, neurological one, where even in a hypothetical future you couldn't cure the physical without changing the self, everything you experience, in ways that can be almost impossible to comprehend. The absolute, unavoidable understanding of every fiber of one's self as a physical phenomena, down to the very last thought or feeling, and coming to terms with it.

Unfortunately I think unless people stop using us as a mouthpiece to talk over each other, we won't get to have those conversations. If you want us to speak, you need to listen. I mean really listen. No picking and choosing, no deciding for us what you think it means. No trying to relate our experiences to your own when we tell you that no, those things aren't the same. Just listen and uplift our voices, especially those of us who can't communicate our thoughts and experiences very well.

soon may the wellerman come, your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb