I Wish I Was High

why does sleeping all day and waking up to not a single message hurt? Why do i care so much that no one cares about me?

"playing with my toys" and the toys are concepts

i think the worst thing about abled people is that even if you explain your perspective as a disabled person, dismantle common ableist narratives, correct misinformation and do all that work. they're still liable to backslide at any point. "but it's inevitable that most people are going to think or say [ableist thing]." their constant exposure to ableism isn't mitigated by having a disabled person to give a fuck about because they're ultimately not affected themselves. and it's hard being the only one in the room aware of the constant, relentless barrage of ableism that exists as a backdrop for our society. so they want to justify it to you. "yes i know this hurts you but you have to admit most people aren't going to accommodate this". they want you, the disabled person, to absolve them of whatever common ableist thing they want to do. maybe it's saying the r slur or being dismissive about someone masking when sick. maybe it's about benefits and what they really think about it. whatever it is, they're always so unreliable. all the effort you put in to change their mind can be undone that quickly it's like why did you even bother to pretend to care in the first place

sorry i can’t come i’m too busy hurting my own feelings over nothing

I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I csnttakrotanymirs I can’t take it anymore I can’t take it anymore I snt take it anymore I can’t take it snymore (I say as I proceed to take it)

my biggest s3xual fantasy is to have someone notice my absence and wonder about me lol

fuck it im relapsing someone else unadded me after promising they would stay

<33

i wish you wanted, craved and needed me the way i need you.

i wish you could also feel your organs writhe when we're not talking,

when we're not together,

when we don't exist in the same space and at the same time.