This Realization Does Happen Early Enough Between The Second And Third Book And Thus Gives Us Time To

This realization does happen early enough between the second and third book and thus gives us time to watch Damen react to his own changing perspective as well.

You can watch when Damen witnesses the scheming that Laurent's had to put up with, being framed for attacking a village, prompting retaliation, and even his efforts to find the real culprits being turned against him too. Damen is still a prince; he's not naive enough to not recognize that Laurent is facing opposition from almost every direction and has been forced to become a stone-cold bitch because everyone he's ever been kind to or relied upon has been threatened, killed, or systematically turned against him.

Damen sees the horrors of the border, where the people in Delpha are still Veretian at heart, no matter what someone drawing borders on a map says. He is heartbroken to see his own people happy to slaughter innocents just because of the feud between the kingdoms. Damen doesn't just become forced to rethink Laurent, he's forced to rethink Vere as a whole as well as his own ignorance of the things Laurent has been embroiled within for years now.

Damen is smart enough to comprehend what it all means, and he's strong enough to go through the existential crisis of admitting to himself that maybe he, and the way his father raised him, were WRONG. Damen is strong enough to let go of his pride and LEARN, and that's what makes him a worthy prince - as well as someone who is capable of falling in love with Laurent and having Laurent fall in love with him, despite Laurent's best efforts to hate him.

~Rant incoming as always~

And because I'm a Laurent lover myself:

When they are forced to get along in Prince's Gambit, you can see all the moments Laurent is shocked how hard Damen fights for him, how he doesn't escape or betray Laurent the moment he has the chance, and how Laurent really is weak to not just loyalty but competence. Damen absolutely can defeat him through sheer strength, even though Laurent has spent the last six years trying to prepare himself to kill Damen, and he doubts his own ability to outmaneuver Damen in a fight because he's blinded by his own inferiority complex that the Regent has instilled into him by force and that Laurent has to systematically unlearn.

Now, Laurent has to come to terms with the fact that if Damen's loyalties turn against him as well, Laurent's heart might not be able to take it either. Laurent is literally vulnerable to Damen in every way imaginable, and he's pissed. He covers it through sarcasm and banter, like when Damen admits he could grab Laurent and turn him over to Makedon's passing troops, but then is honestly relieved when Damen DOESN'T BETRAY HIM, AGAIN. Damen actually kills one of his own people by throwing a sword in a completely irrational maneuver, and you know Laurent is going through shit when you consider that he must think Damen only supports him because Laurent is just better than the Regent, the lesser of two evils, the spare prince that's only worthy because Auguste is dead...but maybe Damen also is just that good of a person.

Remember that Laurent isn't fooled by Damen's "undercover" identity for a second, so he's seething at the idea that Damen is the only one he can be honest with, if only because it's in Damen's best interests to not betray Laurent. He's coping with the idea that he and Damen would have absolutely gotten along if there wasn't this massive gap of them being from opposing kingdoms but also the matter of Auguste.

Once Damen's identity gets exposed and Laurent is like "Yes, I know, asshole, you're not exactly subtle", Laurent becomes a defensive bitch again for the first half of Kings Rising because the two of them really do have to confront that Damen killed Auguste and incidentally ruined Laurent's life. It wasn't personal, Damen had no idea any of that would lead to the other things - he had no control over the Regent's actions, and killing Auguste was just killing the enemy in wars they didn't start and didn't have the option to just sit down and talk about.

Damen trying to say, "He died quickly," and Laurent's immediate defensive reply, "Like gutting a pig?" OOOOOFF FUCK LAURENT THAT WAS MY HEART

Damen and Laurent beating the shit out of each other as Laurent tries to kill him, but he has to yield and admit he would have died if Damen wanted him dead, but Laurent saying he'd rather have just died never getting to know Damen as a person because Auguste was everything to him and dying would be easier than seeing how he and Damen could have gotten along only to be denied it. Then Damen ending the confrontation with, "I wish..." AND HE CAN'T FINISH BECAUSE HE KNOWS WISHING WON'T CHANGE ANYTHING

Damen KNOWS he ruined Laurent's life by killing Auguste but he also knows it wasn't personal to him, but it became MASSIVELY personal to Laurent. He regrets it, he knows he regrets it, but regretting won't bring Auguste or Laurent's childhood back.

The cherry on top comes as Laurent fights Kastor and Damen realizes that Laurent absolutely IS AND WAS skilled enough to beat Damen in a fight, he was just being held back by his own emotions (and maybe a knife wound to the shoulder) making him desperate and sloppy. Laurent killing Kastor essentially makes them even as they each took a brother from one another; on the one hand their fates were *necessary* to make Damen and Laurent who they are today, but on the other hand - at what cost?

Laurent being told by Damen that he's a worthy prince by the one person he thinks he can't overcome, in contrast to the Regent telling him he isn't worthy and trying to force him to admit that he can't overcome his uncle - when in reality Laurent IS able to overcome them both.

Ugh, the extras when we finally get to see Laurent acting like a young man who can let his walls down and grieve, who can mess around with flowers and put himself beneath someone he loves without fear, who can just start throwing olives into a barfight for the miniscule layer of chaos. I love him. Damen loves him.

Anyway so I have a fanfic that's half complete where I ramble like this throughout:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/52964602/chapters/133982485

Thinking about how Damen does not even begin to comprehend the absolute life-altering trauma he caused Laurent by killing Auguste until like halfway through Prince's Gambit. Thinking about how their mutual dehumanization of each other led Damen to see Laurent as incapable of love or affection for anyone, he never even considers that Laurent loved his brother and was shattered by his death, never shows a shred of sympathy, his first assumption was that Laurent resented Auguste for being the golden child/crowned prince, and it's only when Paschal looks at him like he's crazy and says "no, he loved him." that he begins to realize the Laurent he's been experiencing is one that in many ways *he helped create* and that the purest form of Laurent was a sweet, shy little boy who loved his brother without a cruel bone in his body, he never wanted power or glory or anything, all he wanted was his big brother, and Damen killed that version of Laurent when he killed Auguste.

I think that is in part how Damen begins to come to forgive Laurent, or at the very least to begin to sympathize with him, realizing that in a fucked up kind of way, everything Laurent does to him, while still totally being first and foremost Laurent's responsibility and moral failures to atone for, is partially a consequence of his own actions, that he helped turn Laurent into the tangled ball of pulsating yearning in the shape of a man that he is.

I think realizing how wrong he'd been about the kind of man Laurent was, was what began his journey to coming to terms with the kind of man he, Damen, was at the beginning of the story. When he first meets Laurent he thinks he has him pinned and describes him as arrogant, self-absorbed, self-serving, spoilt, and "raised to overestimate his own worth", which in hindsight is definitely meant to be projection because those are all ways that Damen himself could be described at the beginning of the story, something he basically admits to at the end of Kings Rising when he reflects on the version of himself that existed before he was imprisoned.

More Posts from Spoiler-alert-andabunchofnumbers and Others

"But forever is not forever.

"I move and you react and both of us break the other. But broken is only a moment in time."

"You let me move and I slam the door, but that is not the end, and both of us must face our partner once again. The barbs twist deeper, but they do not have to."

"To change is to hold the potential to rise above. Would you limit yourself to what you are now, or would you like to see what you might become tomorrow?"

One of the ending monologues that stuck with me the most, the way the Witch and the Opportuntist are dancing around one another but stuck in place because they're more focused on being wary of the other instead of bettering themselves.

You actively have to go along with the dance in order to bring the Witch to Shifty, to play along and pretend, wary of each other but still going along with things until you can go out of your way to betray to one another. You have to trust in order to be betrayed, even if that trust is pretend. Attacking the Witch openly and directly, no lying or dragging it out, or even trying to abandon her and avoid the dance, smashes you into the Wild. Proving your sincerity even at the cost of your life brings you to the Thorn.

The Witch (like most Chapter II routes of course) is what happens when you don't learn from your mistakes and change the strategy. The Princess and the LQ decided that the endless revolving was what they wanted, nothing better, nothing worse.

And the way it all feeds back into the final confrontation where the Shifting Mound shows the Long Quiet the futility of revolving, because there are no victors if you choose to keep dancing in circles - the two of them absolutely CAN just keep spinning, but they'll always end up equally hurting one another and rejecting the paths of being straightforward or giving up. It's actively torturing themselves and choosing the self-destructive option to keep doing the dance, but I mean it's an option! All opinions are valid. It's just *chef's kiss*

What's ironic is that in all the ways you bring the Witch to Shifty, the two of you still have to face each other after the betrayal. Either you both broke your backs together on the stairs and have to stare each other down hoping the other is suffering just as much as you, or the LQ erases the cabin and the door she slammed in your face disappears too so oops this is awkward, no hard feelings right? :3 They always do face the consequences of being a prick even if they got the betrayal they wanted, "not sorry you did the bad thing, just sorry you got caught" style.

Witch and Opportuntist are such a funny duo, they're both such gremlins, they know what they're doing is selfish and sneaky and potentially the downfall of them both, and they're happy about it, they're vibing

"A Trick Behind Your Back, And A Trick Behind Mine. We Dance, Revolving And Revolving Around Each Other,
"A Trick Behind Your Back, And A Trick Behind Mine. We Dance, Revolving And Revolving Around Each Other,
"A Trick Behind Your Back, And A Trick Behind Mine. We Dance, Revolving And Revolving Around Each Other,
"A Trick Behind Your Back, And A Trick Behind Mine. We Dance, Revolving And Revolving Around Each Other,

"A trick behind your back, and a trick behind mine. We dance, revolving and revolving around each other, but forever stuck in place. We both move and yet we both don't, for each of us watches the other instead of ourselves."

---

Anyone order the Witch? I've got quite a few old drawings of her, she is such a silly :]

All I ask in return is to please ignore how I used to draw the Long Quiet (pictures 2 & 4), I could not figure out how I wanted to draw him, and I also was (still am) bad at drawing birds/beaks 😭That's why I eventually gave up and joined the no-beak-TLQ crowd lol

[Throwback | Scheduled post | Drawings finished : January 25th - 26th, 2024]

[Find my Slay the Princess art here] [Princess art] [TLQ art] [Voices art]


Tags

I need an absolutely CHONKY computer, lifting it will be the only cardio I get, you feel me? Gimme all my ports and connectors back, and I need to be able to spill my drink all over that keyboard and NOTHING will happen to it. I wants all the RAM and all the storage, you don't understand - or do you?

You know what, fuck it, I don't *want* some frivolous, artisanal, lighter-than-air computer with no customizability, no upgradeability, no reparability, no ports, and a lifetime of *maybe* 3 years if you're lucky. I want a fucking great BEAST of a computer that's designed to last a minimum of 50 years, with ports up the wazoo and optional drives for every kind of media! I want modular components that you can drop in a bog for a year, dry them off, and have them still work fine! I want them to make a noise like "ker-chunk!" when you slide them into place! I want a switch that you pull to turn it on! And I don't want software that constantly forces you to get a pointless, cosmetic "upgrade" every few months either! I want durability! I want longevity! I want satisfying haptics! I want Silicon Valley to go fuck itself!


Tags

There are two sets - in white/silver and black/rainbow and yes I got one of both, they're amazing, LOOK AT THIS ART!!!

We Are The Pride Knights, And This Is Our Battle Cry No Enemy Can Shake Us, As Hard As They Can Try There’s

We are the Pride Knights, and this is our battle cry No enemy can shake us, as hard as they can try There’s a fire in our eyes that no hatred can kill A passion in our hearts that’s as strong as our will To our fellow queers who fight their battles on their own We promise to fight with you, you are never alone To our fellow queers who have fallen with the pain We thank you for your courage, your fight is not in vain We are defenders of the right to be proud of who you are To love who you love and to accept every scar We are your knights, protectors of our pride Together we stand, together we ride

LIMITED EDITION: The Pride Knights Playing Cards are now officially available for pre-order in our store until June 30, 2023!

prideknights.com ⚔️🌈

What kind of saber is baxia anyway?

I love my bloodthirsty princess of a cursed blade, and in my heart of hearts i am nothing but a sword nerd, so i've been extremely fascinated by Baxia and how we know frustratingly little about what she actually looks like!

I mean, look at bichen, right?

Bichen in the donghua:

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

Bichen in the drama:

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

They're clearly not exactly the same. The scabbards are different, and the guards have a different shape. But these are recognizably different iterations on one theme, right? Thin jian with a white grip silver guard, light blue tassel and silver mounting accents on the scabbard.

Now this is baxia in the donghua:

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

And baxia in the drama:

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

????????

THAT'S A COMPLTELY DIFFERENT WEAPON

it doesn't stop there either, the audio drama is kind enough to give us ANOTHER COMPLETELY DIFFERENT BAXIA

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

pretty! But how is that he same sword??

And when we go back to the novel, we get very little information on her appearance other than the fact that her blade is tinted red with all the blood she's absorbed. Which none of these designs incorporate.

This is not a dig on the designs itself, they're all quite gorgeous in their own right and i'm going to spend a while discussing all of them! Because isn't it fascinating how, since we know little about novel baxia beyond "saber" all of these designs ended up so different? What kinds of sabers are these, anyway?

So, a chinese aber, aka a "dao" (刀) just means a sword that has only one cutting side. As opposed to a jian, which has two.

You can see how that leaves a LOT of room for variaton.

I've actually seen some people get confused because Huaisang's saber in the untsmed is thin and quite straight, making it superficially resemble the jian more than drama!baxia, but it is still clearly a saber!

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

See? only one cutting blade!

This, to me looks a lot like a tang dynasty hengdao

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

credit to this blog for providing his image and being a great source for all this going forward.

TANGENT: during all this I found out the english wikipedia page for dao is WRONG! Ths is what they about the tang hengdao!

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

So that sounds like the hengdao was called that during the sui dynasty, but then, after that, started being called a peidao, right?

WRONG

I LOOKED AT THE SOURCE THEY USED AND IT SAYS THIS:

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?
What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

IT WAS CALLED THE PEIDOU UNTIL THE SUI DYNASTY, AT WHICH POINT IT WAS CALLED A HENGDAO. Which would carry over to the Tang dynasty. This was the source wikipedia linked! and it says something else than they say it does!

Anyone know how to edit a wikipedia article?

ANYWAY

BACK TO BAXIA

Since we're already at the drama, let's look at drama baxia: She's also straight! the general term for straight-backed saber is Zhibeidao, but that's a modern collector's term, and doesn't really say anything about which historical kind of saber baxia could be based on. Another meta i found on the drama nie sabers already went on some detail here.

I'm gonna expand on that a little: The kinds of historical straight-backed sabers we see resemble the hengdao a lot more than they do baxia. They don't go to their point as harsly as she does (she's basically a cleaver!) and they're all way skinnier.

No, my personal theory is that instead of being based on any kind of historical sword, drama!baxia is based on a Nandao.

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

I mean, come on, look at it!

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

Baxia!

The Nandao... isn't actually a historical sword. It was invented for Wushu forms. There's a really fascinating article about its conception, but that's why the swords in the images look a little thin and flimsy. Wushu swords are very flexible and light, they're dance props, not weapons to fight with. There are actual steel versions of Nandao, but they're recreations of the prop, not the other way around.

So That's one way in which Baxia differes from the Nandao: she's actually a real weapon. The other is that, as you can see above, the nandao has an S-shaped guard. Baxia doesn't. She's also much more elaborately decorated, of course. Because she's a princess.

Now: audio drama baxia!

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

This is much easier. with that flare at the tip?

Oh baby that's a niuweidao, all the way!

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

There are more sabers with that kind of curved handle, but the broad tip is really charcteristic of the niuweidao. The Niuweidao is also incredibly poplar in modern media, often portrayed as a historical sword, but it originated i nthe 19th century! And it was actually never used by the military!

That's right, the Niuweidao was pretty much exclusively a civilian weapon! That makes its use here anachronistic, but so is the nandao, and considering that the origin story of the Nie is that they use Dao intead of Jian because their ancestors were butchers, portraying them with a weapon historically reserved for rebels and common people instead of the imperial military is actually very on theme!

Finally, Donghua/Manhua baxia. These two designs are so similar I'm going to treat them as one and the same for now.

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

Unlike both previous baxias, The long handle makes it clear this baxia is a two-handed weapon, though Nie Mingjue is absolutely strong enough to wield her with one hand anyway. Normal rules don't count for cultivators.

Now, this is where things get tricky, because there are a lot of words for long two-handed sabers. And a lot of them are interchangable! This youtube video about the zhanmadao, one of the possible sabers this baxia could be based on, goes a little into just how confusing this can get. This kind of blade WAS actually in military use for many centuries, making it the most historically accurate of all the baxias. But because of that it also has several names and all of those names can also refer to different kinds of blades depending on what century we're in.

So here's our options: i'm going to dismiss the wodao and miandao, because these were explicitly based on japanese sword design, and as we can see manhua baxia has that very broad tip, so that won't work

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

(Example of a wodao. According to my sources Miaodao is really just the modern common term for the wodao, and the changdao, and certain kinds of zhanmadao... do you see how quickly this gets confusing?)

Next option: Zhanmadao.

Zhanmadao stands for "horse chopping saber" so... yeah they were anti-cavalry weapons. meant to be able to cut the legs and/or necks of horses. That definitely sounds like a weapon Nie Mingjue would wield. But if you watched that youtube video i linked above, you'll know the standardized Qing dinasty Zhanmadao looked very different from earlier versions. It was inspired by the japanese odachi, and more resembles the miandao than its ealrier heftier counteprarts.

Earlier Ming dynasty Zhanmadao on the other hand were... basically polearms. the great ming military blog spot, another wonderful source, says these are essentially a kind of podao/pudao (朴刀) which looked like this

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

Now that blade looks a lot like baxia, but the handle is honestly too long. Donghua!baxia straddles the line between sword an polearm a little, but while zhanmadao have been used to refer to both long-handled swords and polerarms, this was undeniably a polearm, not a sword.

If you want to know what researching this was like, I found a picture of this blade on pinterest-- labeled as a "two-handed scimitar"-- and the comment section was filled with people arguing about whether this was a Pudao, Wudao, Zhanmadao, Dadao, Guandao, or a japanese Nagita.

So... that's how it was going. This has kept me up until 2 AM multiple times.

However! Thanks to this article on the great ming military blog I found out there have historically been pudao blades with shorter handles!

Specifically, Ming dynasty military writer Cheng Ziyi created a modified version of the pudao to work with the Dan Fao Fa Xuan technixues-- aka technqiues for a two-handed saber, which would alter heavily influence Miaodao swordmanship-- thereby, as the article points out, essentially merging the cleaver-polearm type Zhanmadao with the later two-handed japanese-inspired design.

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

This is the illustration for the Wu Bei Yao Lue (武備要略) a Ming dynasty military manual

This blade shape in the illustration doesn't match Baxia exactly, but since it's a lengthened Pudao-like blade and we've seen above that those can match Donghua Baxia's shape, i'm gonna say that calling Baxia a Zhanmadao with a two-handed grip isn't all that innacurate!

However, because all of these terms are so intertwined, there are a dozen other things you could call her that would be about equally correct.

To show that, here's a lightning round of other potential Baxia candidates:

Dadao (大刀)

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

Which are generally one-handed and too short. However!

Another youtube video i found of someone training with a Zhanmadao that resembles baxia a little also calls it a "shuangshoudai dao" (雙手带 刀) shuangshou means two-handed, and while 雙手带 seems to refer to a longer handled weapon, when looking for a shuangshou dao or shuangshou dadao (双手大刀) we find a lot more baxia-resembling blades like here and here

I also found that, while the cleaver-like Dadao is strictly a product of the 20th centuy, since dadao just means big sword or big knife, it has been used to refer to loads of different weapons! Some people could've called the zhanmadao and pudao "dadao" during the Ming dynasty as well.

Another potential baxia candidate that mandarin mansion classifies as similar to the later dadao (though longer, as seen in the illustration below) is the "Kuanren Piandao"

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

Which piqued my interest because this diagram classifying different tpye of Dao:

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

Claims that a Kuanrenbiandao (diferent spelling, same sword) is the same as a modern day Zhanmadao.

(So once again, all of these terms are interchangable)

Another opton Is the Chuanmeidao/Chuanweidao (船尾刀) below you can see a diagram, based on the Qing dynasty green standard army regulation, of blades all officially classified as types of "pudao"

The top middle is the Kuanren Piandao, and bottom left is the Chuanweidao.

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

Both of these have a lot of baxia-like qualities.

So there you go! live action baxia is based on a Nandao, audio drama baxia is based on a Niuweidao, and Manhua/donghua baxia is some kind of two-handed Zhanmadao/Pudao/Dadao depending on how you want to look at it.

I'm honestly surprised no one has made the creative decision to portray Baxia as a Jiuhuandao, aka 9 ringed broadsword yet.

What Kind Of Saber Is Baxia Anyway?

I mean look at it! Incredibly imposing. Would make for a great Baxia imo. (@ upcoming mdzs manga and mobile game: take notes!)


Tags

Yessss but like Laurent is also STILL trapped in a cycle of misery when Damen first comes along. For the duration of the first book, Laurent has, by no means, escaped the Regent's grasp on him. Not only was he emotionally and sexually abused during the most vulnerable point in his life (losing both his father and his older brother who were these brilliant paragon kings in his eyes that he felt he could never live up to), but the Regent has been playing a careful game with Laurent all this time even after he gained some level of agency in his life.

Damen and Laurent are enemies-to-lovers of course, but Laurent has an extremely long way to go. Damen only goes to Laurent in the first place because he manages to discern that Laurent is the lesser of two evils - the Regent will betray him the moment he gets what he wants, but Laurent proves himself honorable enough to help Damen get some slaves to a better place even at the risk of his own reputation. The Regent is looking for every reason possible to strip Laurent of his rightful-heir position, and Damen ends up having to choose to risk himself even when he's in a delicate position as a slave when he decides to take Laurent's side.

It cannot be stressed enough: Every single person Laurent gets close to and begins to trust is either ruined, killed, or turns against him thanks to the Regent, and that changes when Damen comes along. At first, it seems like Damen is protecting Laurent so desperately because Laurent is the only chance he has at surviving and gaining some level of favor while he's in enemy territory - but Damen DOES make some escape attempts, he DOES talk back, be DOES do dangerous things. Damen was not necessarily a good person before he met Laurent either, having to be humbled by his position. The fact that Damen is also the man who killed his brother doesn't exactly make Laurent any happier about being forced to work with him.

However, Damen is useful. He's strong, he's smart (having the knowledge and training of a foreign prince that Laurent can use), and he's determined to keep Laurent alive. It's a good alliance, even if it's extremely risky - he figured out pretty quickly who Damen really was, and it's natural for him to expect Damen to betray him the moment he has an advantage and no longer needs Laurent to help him from his slave position. Everyone else has. He's stuck in this constant state of wondering just when every connection he lets into his heart will snap and break him ever further. That's why even when he and Damen share their first romantic scenes, Laurent is still tricky and borderline hurtful towards Damen; they're not instantly lovey-dovey the moment they share their feelings because Laurent can't shake off the pain of knowing he could lose Damen in so many ways - either from Damen getting hurt or taken by outside forces, or worse, Damen himself choosing to abandon him.

But the thing is, Damen proves him wrong over and over and over. Laurent admits later how terrifying it was for him to be falling in love with Damen, because Damen kept proving how he cared about Laurent genuinely and was strong enough to stand by him even against the odds. He goes out of his way to save Laurent's life, goes out of his way to choose him over the Regent, goes out of his way to make an alliance with him rather than turning on his enemy once he gets back to his own people.

The second book gives Laurent a breath of fresh air, as he's no longer in the Regent's domain where he constantly had to be on guard. He fights off a few assassinations, with Damen proving his loyalties over and over, even when Laurent occasionally abandons and even outright betrays him to put Damen at a distance. Damen stands by him anyway, Damen proves he's not only going to stand by Laurent when Laurent is important to him, but also staying with him even when he doesn't have to.

Laurent was terrified that once Damen's cuffs came off, once he was no longer a slave and was back into a prince - a king, even - Laurent would stand no chance. He's been dreaming all these years about being able to beat Damen and avenge his brother, but after the two of them have an ugly scuffle, Laurent admits painfully that he knows he'd never be able to beat Damen in a fight. Laurent is good, he's willing to fight dirty, what he lacks in physical might he makes up for with his tactics. He uses everything he learns from Damen to eventually become self-sufficient, trying to not need Damen anymore. Laurent is good at what he does, but he's never felt like he's enough - he's always on the defensive with his uncle, and here comes Damen also out-doing him even when he's stuck as a slave. Both of them were captive princes in their own way, but Laurent sees how Damen seems to be so much better than him at surviving in shackles.

However, then Damen is determined to treat Laurent as his equal. He gives one of his slave cuffs to Laurent as a sign of their equal status. Instead of shedding the memory of his slavery, he holds onto them and makes them a symbol of his connection and dedication with Laurent. It's him shackling himself to Laurent to say that he's not going to let Laurent get away. His time as a slave was an awful low point, but at the same time it's what brought him to Laurent, and now it binds them together.

Damen doesn't just SEE the true Laurent, he isn't just "the different one" who is just LIKE that, and he certainly doesn't begin as a paragon of goodness that Laurent needs to learn to be more like. Damen himself changes as he opens himself up to Laurent as well and begins to find something worth more than all he had known before. Damen proves himself over and over through his actions, tolerating even the worst parts of Laurent, wanting to see past the betrayals and his cold attitude and his sharp tongue and actually get to know Laurent as he is. He knows there's a kind, scared, broken man hidden behind so many walls that Laurent can NEVER truly drop; he can never REALLY open up and go back to the happy child he once was. And that's okay. He wants to eliminate all the threats that Laurent needs those walls for, and that means being strong enough for the both of them.

In the end, Damen ends up wanting to see Laurent free to choose how he lives his life and even CHOOSE to be happy about it. He wants Laurent to know he's worthy of it, that Damen can help him find it. He doesn't just want to do everything FOR Laurent; he wants Laurent to finally see that he's strong enough to win even if it means he needs help. Damen, meanwhile, learns about the nuances of people like Laurent and how to value the lives of those suffering, to find a way to use his power to make things better. Both of them are what the other needed to become the better versions of themselves, and isn't that just the best romance you can get?

I think Laurent is such an appealing character because he is so emblematic of those people who are broken but still want to be worthy of love. 

Laurent, to me, is a variation on a type of person I’m familiar with. The clever, gifted, introverted child who struggles socially, weighed down by a big brain and oddly adult preoccupations. The one who becomes fractured through trauma, ends up hiding behind a pointed, cold, even cruel, demeanour as self-protection. I bet most of us know that person (some of us might even be that person). It’s not a good persona to have felt forced to adopt. But beautiful, barbed-tongued Laurent makes it seem more palatable than it is.

Truth is, he’s in a bad place before Damen. Laurent is that person who holds everyone at arms length, mistrustful of being hurt and abandoned, but somehow still forges ahead on a path towards some goal they’re determined to win as it gives them purpose, even when they can’t even really envision a future for themselves (where will they be in ten years time? Who will they be? They have no answer). The one who finds romantic relationships so agonising, they often choose to absent themselves from them, because they come hand in hand with unbearable vulnerability, and who don’t know how to feel sexual desire without the past intruding, and without feeling like they’re giving something up or losing somehow, who suspect they might be permanently ruined.

Laurent’s mind is like a steel trap, and it makes it easy to look down on others (not something others find particularly likeable). Is the type who can separate out the deep moral integrity that forms the bedrock of who they are, from the more flimsy, politer, social kind of morality which they tossed out the window in the name of survival (hard to make friends when you do that). The kind of person who is haunted by shame and filled with secret self-loathing, who uses humour to cope, and feels stuck in a state of arrested development even though they had to grow up too fast. The sort who can lose their temper so badly they cross lines no-one else can, but will die for the people they love. Who can seem flippant and facetious yet exhausting in their intensity.

And then good, honourable, warm-hearted Damen comes along and sees him.

This Normal Boy (who is really an Exceptional Boy), clothed in the body of his enemy. This towering stereotype of attractive athleticism, this strong warrior prince, well-loved, well-liked, who should be stupid and selfish, a repellent, violent aggressor, but is instead an intellectual equal, honourable and caring and kind. Who makes sex an act of love, of giving and taking in equal measure, makes it slow and tender and meaningful and pleasurable, adjusting exactly to how Laurent likes it, makes it no longer something to fear. 

Damen who guides Laurent back to his own heart, is the light to his dark, and softens those lethal edges. Who laughs with him, matching bon mot for bon mot. Who loves Laurent, for all his faults, who sees him at his very, very worst, all that ugly, vicious darkness laid bare, and still gives him his heart, and will never abandon him. Who heals him.

The books are the ultimate broken person’s fantasy, honestly. That if we see a glimmer of ourselves in Laurent, then maybe a Damen is out there who could show us how it could be.


Tags

I haven't seen a lot of people talking about this, at least enough for me to confirm, but just to set the record straight - was Guzi's original father abusive towards him?

From the time we first meet him, Guzi is convinced that Qi Rong is his father, despite the utterly absurd things Qi Rong gets up to. The only reason he indulges Guzi for the most part is because he enjoys having someone who follows and relies on him completely, without a hint of deviance or disgust or aversion. Like most of his other foolish followers, Qi Rong proclaims he's the best and they believe every word, and he'll keep Guzi around until he happens to stop being useful. Guzi certainly knows some specific things are right and wrong, but so long as Qi Rong says it's fine, for the most part Guzi just goes along with it.

The whole time I was getting the vibe that Guzi's original father and the body Qi Rong possesses wasn't a good person. To some extent, he made Guzi unwaveringly faithful to him - even when it came him doing to bad things, to other people and/or to Guzi himself. It's implied that even things like forgetting to feed Guzi, neglecting his health, running off with no regard for whether Guzi can keep up, complaining and yelling at Guzi or referring to him as a pest of some kind before then praising Guzi for being a good boy every now and then, and so on and so forth are all things that Guzi is very used to or already very willing to put up with.

Guzi was young enough to be completely reliant upon his father, but it also seems like he didn't have a mother or any other influences until Xie Lian came along, and even with Xie Lian's better treatment, Guzi would always be following Qi Rong, defending his "father", and looking up to him because he was told to - as opposed to humble little Xie Lian who never brags about himself. In the end, it worked out for the best, but like Guzi went through some shit yo, what a lovely little messed up family.

Anyway I hope that Lang Qianqiu and/or Xie Lian are making sure Guzi gets raised right because Qi Rong managed to run across the one kid crazy enough to put up with him and this is our only chance to thereperize them both, but hoo boy we got some work to do. Hua Cheng should be turning that kid into a Xie Lian devotee is what I'm saying, get some practice before they get their own child


Tags

Yeeeeeesss look at that, gimme all the great quotes

I do think there is a balance in the message though. These people who ascend or fall are human, but how much of their humanity do they lose? Over hundreds of years, how much do they change, try to leave behind - or remember, or vow to never, ever forget, to never let go of?

Just the ability to choose to hold onto or let go of things, of beliefs or obsessions, that's so human of them - but humans aren't supposed to be eternal. Xie Lian has to suffer things that regular humans never do, to live through death (or fatal injuries), through generations of change, through the rise and fall of kingdoms, through his own strengths but also his very many weaknesses.

Jun Wu and Hua Cheng have held onto and lived consumed by their resentment and devotion respectively, having to actively fight off anything that would contradict these things. A single lifetime of living with betrayal and heartbreak can break a person, but Jun Wu's resentment is so powerful that it essentially reshapes the entire world because of how it grew and amassed and never stopped tormenting him. Hua Cheng's devotion was so powerful that he gained an actual foothold to reshape the world almost as effectively as Jun Wu - enough to oppose his reign. These kinds of devotion are impressive specifically because they lasted so long, enduring so much, enduring things that shouldn't be human.

Xie Lian, Hua Cheng, Jun Wu, and many of the other gods have held onto who they are without any desire to change - regardless of the right or wrongess of these beliefs they refuse to change. It takes a great deal of effort, but in the end Jun Wu is the one who has to stop, who has to change after 2000 years of obsession. Even after he remade the heavens and got revenge on everyone, he still went this far.

Yeeeeeesss Look At That, Gimme All The Great Quotes

It's natural to want to stay a certain way out of habit, because staying the same is comforting, but even so the world moves on without you and you inevitably change despite your efforts. But these gods spend hundreds and thousands of years without change. Jun Wu got everything he wanted but he continued hating even when there was no one left to hate - in fact he seemed to foster another round of gods to continue hating, just now they're under his thumb.

These people are fundamentally human at heart, but how much of that humanity remains once they've lived lives that can't be called fully human anymore? They are human, but they also can't be, but they can choose to try to stay human, or they can choose to be warped into something else.

And when they find out they chose wrong, they can choose again - but only if they remember that they are human, and humans have the power to keep chosing and changing.

Totally random but, as much as I generally love the TGCF fandom, I’ve noticed that it always mildly annoys me when people refer to, say, Hua Cheng or Xie Lian as not being human, when it’s kind of a major thing that they are still human. Maybe I’m being annoying here but, there’s a reason one of my favourite quotes from TGCF is ‘When humans ascend, they are still human; when they fall, they are still human’. I kinda feel especially strongly about this in regard to some of the ghosts because, well, you wouldn’t look at a human corpse and say “No! That’s not a human! It’s a corpse!”, yeah, obviously it’s a corpse, but it doesn’t cease to be human just because it’s dead, it’s just a dead human.


Tags
Look At Our Boy Suffering For Love
Look At Our Boy Suffering For Love

Look at our boy suffering for love

Since San Lang literally has dice with teleportation arrays that can take him anywhere he wants, this has to be the first time in 800 years that he's had to actually WALK from point A to point B. Supposedly ghosts are affected by too much sunlight; that doesn't seem like it would get to Hua Cheng with his power level, yet you can't deny our boy looks miserable.

I think he's most upset that this whole trek is happening because SOMEONE doesn't have enough spiritual magic to get them right where they wanna go. He might have even been fine with an extended trip if it was just him and Xie Lian, but those other two had to butt in. No wonder moments after this he's immediately picking a fight to make himself feel better.

Sleeping in Puqi shrine? Easy, gonna win over Xie Lian in no time

Trudging across the desert for hours on end? Gege, I'm going to die again please have mercy


Tags
Loading...
End of content
No more pages to load
  • enby-maniac
    enby-maniac liked this · 3 days ago
  • kriskat-01
    kriskat-01 liked this · 3 days ago
  • anacrea
    anacrea liked this · 4 days ago
  • alreadyelsewhere05
    alreadyelsewhere05 liked this · 5 days ago
  • roeroe478
    roeroe478 reblogged this · 5 days ago
  • bitter-black-beans
    bitter-black-beans reblogged this · 5 days ago
  • knifuxd
    knifuxd liked this · 6 days ago
  • vicis-bored
    vicis-bored liked this · 6 days ago
  • immaterial-girl
    immaterial-girl liked this · 6 days ago
  • hopebucky
    hopebucky reblogged this · 6 days ago
  • hopebucky
    hopebucky reblogged this · 6 days ago
  • chubsthehamster
    chubsthehamster reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • chubsthehamster
    chubsthehamster liked this · 1 week ago
  • blanketed-in-stars
    blanketed-in-stars reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • evvie-rambles
    evvie-rambles liked this · 1 week ago
  • littledeadridinghood
    littledeadridinghood liked this · 1 week ago
  • lovinggiven
    lovinggiven liked this · 1 week ago
  • moroncentral
    moroncentral liked this · 1 week ago
  • dollarsquared
    dollarsquared liked this · 1 week ago
  • gravitational-madness
    gravitational-madness liked this · 1 week ago
  • bloodysapphic
    bloodysapphic liked this · 1 week ago
  • asimozouzouna
    asimozouzouna liked this · 1 week ago
  • hiposaw
    hiposaw liked this · 1 week ago
  • asimozouzouna
    asimozouzouna reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • halfbloodbothways
    halfbloodbothways reblogged this · 1 week ago
  • halfbloodbothways
    halfbloodbothways liked this · 1 week ago
  • lafox103
    lafox103 liked this · 1 week ago
  • gurl-i-just-want-none-to-find-me
    gurl-i-just-want-none-to-find-me liked this · 1 week ago
  • doggone-beauty
    doggone-beauty liked this · 1 week ago
  • bookstanromantica
    bookstanromantica liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • michellemydear
    michellemydear liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • kaanavu
    kaanavu liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • tsnbrainrot
    tsnbrainrot reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • wimbledon2008
    wimbledon2008 reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • calendularose
    calendularose liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • zellixir
    zellixir reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • awesome-bluehair-universe
    awesome-bluehair-universe reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • countlesboula
    countlesboula liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • incandescentglows-blog
    incandescentglows-blog liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • roeroe478
    roeroe478 liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • afkalways
    afkalways liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • totally-am-not-a-witch
    totally-am-not-a-witch liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • shellmilla
    shellmilla liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • of-many-faces
    of-many-faces liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • deerdyr
    deerdyr reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • royal-boyfriend
    royal-boyfriend liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • missricochet
    missricochet liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • midnightcolours
    midnightcolours liked this · 2 weeks ago
  • gurl-i-just-want-none-to-find-me
    gurl-i-just-want-none-to-find-me reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • gurl-i-just-want-none-to-find-me
    gurl-i-just-want-none-to-find-me reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
spoiler-alert-andabunchofnumbers - There Will Be Spoilers
There Will Be Spoilers

And a bunch of random numbers. I will post whatever fandom I'm in at the moment without rhyme or reason

102 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags