Crisis Core - Blog Posts

on my rebirth replay i had the stellar idea to write down the loveless prelude and compare it to the "original" loveless poem. also it's color-coded.

later i'm gonna think harder about my big "explore differences" note. maybe on the airplane. i mean, what do you do on an airplane anyway? analyze fictional religious poetry.

let him be the hero 😭

giving him the costume he deserves <3

today is worst day, i am off killing myself.

+

our existence and future is predetermined by variables around us.

some things that make you better, and some things that don't.

when I consider that I imagine I should just off myself today.

I got shock figuring out I am 22, not 21 years old. I lost track of time so badly I forgot that. I thought I was 21 and convinced myself. But I actually am 22 now. Wow, last 5 years of my life were hell. In fact, I'd say everything after 12 was already hell. It was empty void. That's why I really hate videogames, why did I spend so much time playing garbage like Dark Souls? Jesus. Uh... Fuck, I am 22 years old, holy shit I am fucked. It's time to think about my future priorities. a month in mental asylum then few years of absolute suffering and misery, anything after 2015 is blurry to me, I feel like I stopped existing as entity. I wasted a lot of time on social media, a lot of time chasing nothingness, things that possess no power in the world.

And now it's actually 2025?! My brain feels like nothing has been happening and I was genuinely rotting away. I am glad I managed to release some of these touhou videos, I am glad I managed to bring churro back. But everything in my spirit feels miserable, it's pretty obvious I am not cutout for humanity's methodology. I haven't made any friends nor any partner, I do not have any form of support at all. Not even one of family. And with my personality, with my way of being, I doubt I'll ever be able to get any. My ego is in shambles and anger as of right now. It's funny right? It's a small detail but if I said 21 it would have made me FEEL as if I accomplished a little of something. By taking a date one year further now it makes me feel like I am REALLY LATE. After all, I took a while to condition myself to the premise of "atmosphere", this is how "things are supposed to be or play out". I feel insignificant today and like the world is jusjt gonna step on me to death and there's nothing I can do. I am people pleaser, because i felt socially forced to act like one. Like that was a means of survival that I half-hazardly accepted while not feeling it in my heart. Now even complaining makes me feel like age is crawling as penalty for speaking words here. Indeed, nobody really cares. It's all fake, people only care about things that cost zero risk. Associating yourself with something weak makes you weak, isn't that right?

So, what will be my priorities for the rest of my life?

I am definitely alone and I am also not strong to defeat the world on my own, I am tired of ironyposting. I am fucking tired of watching shit youtube content. I am tired of social media hijacking my mind (when really i would've preferred living in a tribe than this fucking -technocratic place) well.. 1. I will try to work on churro as much as I can so this site works and I will use my finance to support it. Since I won't ever have a child, I can share it with the site. It can be costly for future servers and for advertising on whenever I can, but it is my genuine goal to both spend my time and money on the site. That said, I cannot do it while also working, because a few hours aren't enough to code any substantial changes or fix bugs. I will work on trying to take a gambit of perfecting the site while NEET at the moment. My second goal is touhouposting, I thought that I will have periods where I upload videos on youtube and continue doing it. Playing videogames might not be good way to spend free time, but nobody really liked me and I don't communicate so I feel this is better efficient way than all these times I tried making friends. I will probably upload touhou videos every 4 days if my time allows it, but I will eventually run out of time to edit.

So, the touhou thing isn't eternal, give it like 5 years maybe max, I hope to end it at 3. They will be published even if I die but they ought to be entertaining videos.

With that said, gym and training play huge role of my daily life. So that also takes a lot of time.

And procrastinating, I gotta talk about the worst. I am bad at dealing with abstract things, they waste my time more than anything. I am already a loser incel the way I am but when I deal with something that doesn't have a clear goal it will be bothering me. I need to manage my time so I spend the LEAST time on things that requrie entertainment over work. This stuff is something that is hard to fight when you got addicted to brainrot.

As for drawing, drawing is genuine effort workoholic example, so I priotize drawing in free time over meaningless conversations with people who only care about themselves anyway + doom feedscrolling (awful i hate it i am not gonna do it anymroe notgonnadoit My life looks pretty shady according to human standard, but I never went to bars or anything like that, in fact maybe its peopel who are shady and they have the majority. So, what do I do after I get churro perfect and upload all vids I wanted? hm....

yep, I'm probably gonna die. I wouldn't know anything anymore, it'd be nice to have son who would manage churro, maybe I can adopt somebody at very late age as ultra-cuck or something, I am getting tired of typing....

Genesis without his coat is like seeing a Victorian woman’s ankles.

Version w/o words below cut cause i couldnt figure out which one i like more or a background lol

God’s sleepiest SOLDIER

If anyone talks to him, there will be very sleepy crimes committed.

Degradation

I started this last November up to half of the shading then had a crisis about my storage and apps crashing and forgot about it until now.

Anyways, this is what i wish degradation was visualized as cause i am a sucker for horror. Also the clothes being affected makes no sense.

Young Sephiroth

I’m gonna squish the sad baby

I was fucking goblin cackling at Genesis’ face the whole time I was drawing this

My brother said that Gen looks like he is waiting for Seph to fall asleep to draw on his face and if that doesn’t describe their fanon dynamic idk what does

I think Genesis looks like a grub right here and I want to throw him

With affection of course

SEPHGEN

I wanna punt Genesis into the sun but they make me :>

Back on the “start something then start something else and don’t finish the other thing” train lol

Buisness casual Sephiroth w/ glasses doodles

This style of glasses going out of fashion is a crime

Did some math only to figure out characters’ ages in CCFFVII. And oh my god. Here we go

Beginning Post Modeoheim Post Nibelheim

Zack: 16 18 23

Cloud: 14-15 16 21

Sephiroth: 20 22 27

Angeal: ~25

Genesis: ~25 ~27 ~32

Aerith: 16 18 23

Tifa: 13 15 20

Reno: 21 23 28

Rude: 23 25 30

Tsung: 23 25 30

Cissnei: ~16 ~18 ~23

Hojo: 55 57 62

(Bonus)

Vincent: 50 52 57

My fan art of Sephiroth dying in a glue trap

Got a comment on my last drawing of Sephiroth about the dying in a glue trap meme

This one goes out to you

Your comment made my day lmaooo

_____

Commissions are open! Check pinned post for info!

selfshipping be like

so Zack gives Aerith the ribbon she wears until the day she dies, he suggests she wears pink and she does, and it seems like there’s forget me nots on her letters to him and that matches her necklace. And she keeps that ribbon and that dress until she dies and when Cloud lowers her into the water, reuniting her and Zack, she’s still wearing the date dress for Zack. And let’s not forget all the sweet compliments Zack gives Aerith and how hard he worked on her flower wagon! And how Aerith loved him so much she waited for him even longer than they’d dated! And Zack loved her so much he literally died trying to see her again! She was one of the last things he was thinking about as he died. 😭 it’s also very sweet how Cloud keeps reuniting Zack and Aerith. Of course he’d do anything for his friend who kept him safe, but he reunites Zack and Aerith when he lowers her into the water, he does it by taking Zacks sword to Aeriths church, and then he does again by taking Aeriths flowers to Zacks grave. Cloud loves his friends and he is the biggest Zerith shipper.

I’m displaying Genesis behavior having a lot of thoughts about Loveless and how objectively it’s such an interesting part of ff7 lore

Keep reading

Just completed my first digital drawing, and who could I have drawn if not the greatest edgelord himself!

We got a little cabin fever and watched Crisis Core

They’re not wrong, Genesis.

Sometimes, I miss these silly people.

GACKT Day also means Genesis Day.

(Fun fact, I actually own the pendant he’s holding.)

Altered the eye slightly, but other than that..

Oh, he’s just precious.

Yet another redraw. I really do have to publicly apologize to those who had to deal with me posting such fugly pieces.

Merpy merp.

It’s only a few days.. weeks ago? And the colouring has already changed again.

In my boredom, I redrew a very old piece’s last panel. (lol)

--Rebel SOLDIER

"Will you waste your life the Goddess blessed you with at the hands of ShinRa? A so-called home, our so called palace of dreams, and honour?

Where was honour when they took us apart limb from limb? Where were our dreams when they presented us with death? When these vermin took our bodies and violated it beyond recognition, when they turned us into MONSTERS? I stand before yiou, a First Class SOLDIER. Your guide and superior, mangled and broken by all that I admire. If they did this to me.. what are they holding for you?"

"Let us take back what is ours, what the Goddess has gifted us with. Our freedom! Our dreams! Our honour! Our gift of life!"

Genesis never struck to me as someone who took anything by force. If he did, then Sephiroth and Angeal wouldn't have made such decisions.

He is shown, like a vixen that he is, that he's incredibly persuasive.

Come to look at it, I do draw these two quite a lot. :x

There's also a previous post with some of this pair.

They're practically married, what more needs to be said?

”Even after time, your brilliance shines radiantly."

"I know.. to toast is to have a drink, but why drink my shoddy juice when you can have my shoddy fruit? Libation for Failure is what they call it, I suppose.”

"Mad men talk to a blade as if the wielder can hear it, no? Guess I haven't grown from it."