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Touhou - Blog Posts
Flann :3๐ฉธ๐
i missed drawing her .. featuring gloomy cause i feel like sheโll like them >:3
yukari ๐๏ธโ๐จ๏ธ
experimenting on filters and such,,, i liked how it turned out ! >:3
reimmu + marisa plush :3
flan and rem in fave costumes(? of mine >_>
prolly draw more later on <
mightve made them look too identical ,,
boom (featuring purple bunny girl)
theyve commited various crimes >:D
late to this twt trend _ i loved the movie sm.
also u can see this as a duo/ship/best friend or anything!! I dint mind lol
tea party! ๐ซ
touhou doodlessssssssss :D
โก Reimari โก
๐๐ช๐ป๐ฒ๐ผ๐ช ๐ช๐ท๐ญ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฒ๐ถ๐พ โค๏ธโจ
Just some sketches of Marisa and Reimu ๐
ooouuhhh back into Touhou after like two years
"The dance between darkness and light will always remain."-C. JoyBell C.
today is worst day, i am off killing myself.
+
our existence and future is predetermined by variables around us.
some things that make you better, and some things that don't.
when I consider that I imagine I should just off myself today.
I got shock figuring out I am 22, not 21 years old. I lost track of time so badly I forgot that. I thought I was 21 and convinced myself. But I actually am 22 now. Wow, last 5 years of my life were hell. In fact, I'd say everything after 12 was already hell. It was empty void. That's why I really hate videogames, why did I spend so much time playing garbage like Dark Souls? Jesus. Uh... Fuck, I am 22 years old, holy shit I am fucked. It's time to think about my future priorities. a month in mental asylum then few years of absolute suffering and misery, anything after 2015 is blurry to me, I feel like I stopped existing as entity. I wasted a lot of time on social media, a lot of time chasing nothingness, things that possess no power in the world.
And now it's actually 2025?! My brain feels like nothing has been happening and I was genuinely rotting away. I am glad I managed to release some of these touhou videos, I am glad I managed to bring churro back. But everything in my spirit feels miserable, it's pretty obvious I am not cutout for humanity's methodology. I haven't made any friends nor any partner, I do not have any form of support at all. Not even one of family. And with my personality, with my way of being, I doubt I'll ever be able to get any. My ego is in shambles and anger as of right now. It's funny right? It's a small detail but if I said 21 it would have made me FEEL as if I accomplished a little of something. By taking a date one year further now it makes me feel like I am REALLY LATE. After all, I took a while to condition myself to the premise of "atmosphere", this is how "things are supposed to be or play out". I feel insignificant today and like the world is jusjt gonna step on me to death and there's nothing I can do. I am people pleaser, because i felt socially forced to act like one. Like that was a means of survival that I half-hazardly accepted while not feeling it in my heart. Now even complaining makes me feel like age is crawling as penalty for speaking words here. Indeed, nobody really cares. It's all fake, people only care about things that cost zero risk. Associating yourself with something weak makes you weak, isn't that right?
So, what will be my priorities for the rest of my life?
I am definitely alone and I am also not strong to defeat the world on my own, I am tired of ironyposting. I am fucking tired of watching shit youtube content. I am tired of social media hijacking my mind (when really i would've preferred living in a tribe than this fucking -technocratic place) well.. 1. I will try to work on churro as much as I can so this site works and I will use my finance to support it. Since I won't ever have a child, I can share it with the site. It can be costly for future servers and for advertising on whenever I can, but it is my genuine goal to both spend my time and money on the site. That said, I cannot do it while also working, because a few hours aren't enough to code any substantial changes or fix bugs. I will work on trying to take a gambit of perfecting the site while NEET at the moment. My second goal is touhouposting, I thought that I will have periods where I upload videos on youtube and continue doing it. Playing videogames might not be good way to spend free time, but nobody really liked me and I don't communicate so I feel this is better efficient way than all these times I tried making friends. I will probably upload touhou videos every 4 days if my time allows it, but I will eventually run out of time to edit.
So, the touhou thing isn't eternal, give it like 5 years maybe max, I hope to end it at 3. They will be published even if I die but they ought to be entertaining videos.
With that said, gym and training play huge role of my daily life. So that also takes a lot of time.
And procrastinating, I gotta talk about the worst. I am bad at dealing with abstract things, they waste my time more than anything. I am already a loser incel the way I am but when I deal with something that doesn't have a clear goal it will be bothering me. I need to manage my time so I spend the LEAST time on things that requrie entertainment over work. This stuff is something that is hard to fight when you got addicted to brainrot.
As for drawing, drawing is genuine effort workoholic example, so I priotize drawing in free time over meaningless conversations with people who only care about themselves anyway + doom feedscrolling (awful i hate it i am not gonna do it anymroe notgonnadoit My life looks pretty shady according to human standard, but I never went to bars or anything like that, in fact maybe its peopel who are shady and they have the majority. So, what do I do after I get churro perfect and upload all vids I wanted? hm....
yep, I'm probably gonna die. I wouldn't know anything anymore, it'd be nice to have son who would manage churro, maybe I can adopt somebody at very late age as ultra-cuck or something, I am getting tired of typing....
I've had trauma since a long time since childhood, when I was younger I used to be creative and explorative, but something eventually has changed, I stopped thinking of rash decisions and for me this hell became objective reality. Everything seemed to be nihilistic, there was no hope or meaning to persevere, it felt for long like a trap and it still feels that way. I became a person who was desperate for a hope, for something to prove me wrong. But I was always proven not, in fact I became naive and cruel at the same time, because for me it was life and death option. I needed some reassurance this world is good and not birthed from bestial malice. At the end, I was never wrong about a damn thing.
However, even though being objective gives you kinder better understood perspective on life, it is not good. You find a perfect answer, after that you become stale. It seems in this world there is no happy ending, when you reach "it" you will end with despair again. You may try any path, and you will always end with the same despair. I am not sure if it actually implies to human perception everywhere, but somewhere deep I was irritated that everyone "got it" except for me, like everyone knew how to get away with evil except for me who was real dumb chump. Even at school, everybody knew how to cheat during final exam papers and did so. Except for me and one other jewish classmate. Everybody knew how to properly bully others. But I haven't been perse "brave" as much as logical, as long as I can read it it's not scary. So I played smart. And unfortunately, it has messed me up. Objectively, sole way to win life is to die for my conclusion.
Human perception is birthed of flaws since leaving the Eden, there is no real way any longer to win. Perception is doomed to fall.
Yet, I never once acknowledged that I did have happy moments, but it has never felt to me because the life kept going and it made me feel like I am outpaced all the time. Maybe, that sense of security from objective point of view is something I must let go off somehow. I honestly have no clue how scary the world is without logic, but logic has never managed to cure it. I believe you and I got scammed into believing it did and had false hopes for technology.
But hey, knowing this it is very possible that human livestocks will genuinely happen in far future. Oh well, we can't stop it from happening. Visit churro.
When frogs hibernate its misaka destinyyyy
chudpol.ru=> www.churro.club
is now public again.
Satori Komeji is a character from Touhou Project who is a true woman. She is a woman btw I repeat real
Okay? I believe in disciplining. I am gonna isolate myself from web tomorrow outside of uploading the rest of toubou videos on my channel. I was thinking about few other stuffโฆ in short, I have 4 more non-touhou videos to upload, a bunch of touhou videos and few schizobabble nonsense that I probably will chose not to upload till later.
I was thinking of uploading the other shit with erotic novel reviews but Iโve reconsidered it to be awful and shameful to large extent. I am sure people can tolerate stuff like that but only if I look normie already. Anyway, review of taimanin will probably never be uploaded any time soon.
It is my duty to return chudpol.ru to its original glory.
Well that sucks, married to you know who and only narcissistic psycho has a crush on me?
Nameless Hill looks like firelink shrine thing in ds3. Soul of cinder boss area
ยซmale who unwittingly(out of ignorance) or purposefully(out of jealousy) prevents another male from engaging in debauchery with members of the female sex. Females can also cockblock, but the true essence of the word lies in the metaphor of the penis used figuratively as an impediment which thwarts any possible chances of scoring with members of the opposite sex.ยป
Uh moriya is MALE?
Katawa-guruma appears as a naked woman riding on a burning singular ox-cart wheel, suffering and burning with pain for โฆ all eternity.
Coughcoughโฆโฆ.
This fucking sucks uuhhhhoh
liked image.
please, make full song!.... please!
Imagine someone liking your country like this, rock paper scissors tourism shit, japanese are really obsessed with big russian cock.
I am gonna watch this video, then get back to work, here watch with me.