There Is No Reason For Me To Feel No Better Than A Man Right Now

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

i thought the quote was from a now cancelled streamer

Me fighting the urge to say "no don't kill yourself you're so sexy" anytime anyone makes a suicide joke (I have to remember it's, in fact, a fandom specific joke and they won't get it and it might also come across as flirting)

A mix of actual events (@amviis thinking i was an enderman while playing mc) and our silly lore (shapeshifter powers)

this girl is one of my best friends for 4 years. how do i stop her from this.

Whenever I see someone who is not Brazilian using this gif I wonder if they know that it is from a Brazilian soapopera from the 2000s called senhora do destino (mistress of destiny) that has a chokehold on pop culture to this day

This character is the villain of the story, who steals a baby from another woman and raises the kid as her own. She kills a bunch of people usually by pushing them down the stairs or with scissors and this scene from the meme is her slowly going mad when she realizes she’s getting her comeuppance and going to prison. It is a tragic story but she is a meme because she is stereotypically evil and has lines that are comical and are memes 20 years later such as seeing a gay couple and going “dykes… I can smell the leather from afar”

This one just says “Maria de Nazaré Tedesco, that big hot blonde”

This one is just “first you get born again then you brush your teeth, do some gurgling and then you get a grip on yourself”

she’s evil and iconic, a villain like no other

does anyone have any idea how i can slow down my brain? i need to sleep but the voices are too loud

i have plans that i cannot share with you right now because the haters will sabotage me (i am making my best friend her birthday present)

When your Character...

Gets into: A Fight ⚜ ...Another Fight ⚜ ...Yet Another Fight

Hates Someone ⚜ Kisses Someone ⚜ Falls in Love

Calls Someone they Love ⚜ Dies / Cheats Death ⚜ Drowns

is...

A Child ⚜ Interacting with a Baby/Child ⚜ A Genius ⚜ A Lawyer

Beautiful ⚜ Dangerous ⚜ Drunk ⚜ Injured ⚜ Shy

needs...

A Magical Item ⚜ An Aphrodisiac ⚜ A Fictional Poison

To be Killed Off ⚜ To Become Likable ⚜ To Clean a Wound

To Find the Right Word, but Can't ⚜ To Say No ⚜ A Drink

loves...

Astronomy ⚜ Baking ⚜ Cooking ⚜ Cocktails ⚜ Food ⚜ Oils

Dancing ⚜ Fashion ⚜ Gems ⚜ Mythology ⚜ Numbers

Roses ⚜ Sweets ⚜ To Fight ⚜ Wine ⚜ Wine-Tasting ⚜ Yoga

has/experiences...

Allergies ⚜ Amnesia ⚜ Bereavement ⚜ Bites & Stings ⚜ Bruises

Caffeine ⚜ CO Poisoning ⚜ Color Blindness ⚜ Food Poisoning

Injuries ⚜ Jet Lag ⚜ Mutism ⚜ Pain ⚜ Poisoning

More Pain & Violence ⚜ Viruses ⚜ Wounds

[these are just quick references. more research may be needed to write your story...]

reblog this to pet the user you reblogged from please

do you guys ever resonate with something so hard you feel your physical body ceasing to exist? i am not in this realm anymore baby i am an invisible cloud like being that is about to be a part of my latest obsession