If You Took A Bite Out Of Them, They Would Taste Like The Andes Chocolate Mints

If this man has to haunt me, he has has to haunt you.

Meet Sweaty. He’s a 42 year old absol and lives with his human mom in Castelia, Unova.

Some Absol headcanons:

I do think part of why Absols have such a bad rep among people is partially due to folklore of them appearing before and after horrific disasters, but also because they have such a human face. Imagine seeing this mf in the dark woods watching you. Something that looks human, but is not. Something that sounds human, but is NOT. Follow this by a horrific landslide.

Do you see the problem. Humans remember human faces. Predators sometimes mimic their prey. Absols have the truly unfortunate evolutionary quirk of falling into both categories.

So yes, there was a huge stigma against absols which led to a pretty severe population decline.

In modern day (much like wolves), Absols have become media darlings, in large thanks to a the help of pokemon rangers who utilize Absol’s ability to sense weather as an indicator when to evacuate. They are a very long lived species and need lots of intense exercise, often declaring huge swaths of land as their personal territories. Absols also tend to get very anxious when they feel they do not have enough space, so keeping them with other pokemon’s usually a no no.

Sweaty’s mom used to be a pokemon ranger and found Sweaty stuck in a refrigerator. Nowadays, she lets him free roam—much to the chagrin of every other person in the area. Sweaty in turn makes himself a nuisance to the local icecream store, begging for treats.

(The kids love him. He comes home with ink and paint stained everywhere and it’s a nightmare to clean.)

Hate my human faced monstrosities? Thank @tjs-stuffs for this. Ciao!

When you're Team Plasma and you decide ambushing only one battle facility leader is a good idea.

Extra Epilogue frame:

I imagine Pokemon Animal Crossing would be very popular.

Outfits based on Zekrom and Reshiram for some photo shoot Elesa convinced them

Also funny if it's dragon twin au because

THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU AND YOUR TWIN A R E THE SUBWAY

ft. teeny tiny smol akari

Elesa should have expected that answer, to be fair

Thinking about the collective headcanon that while Ingo who is known for having a more stoic-faced and serious demeanor in contrast to Emmet's smiley and energetic personality, is the one to get flustered easily and is more willing to settle things in a orderly manner while you have Emmet over here fistfighting Plasma grunts when he's out of Pokemon,more than ready to body slam anyone who'd talk shit about his twin and just straight up challenging Poke Jesus.

It's just. It's just weirdly poetic.

Ita Bag Backpack Preorders 9/7

Preorders will open at 10am PST. There will also be a variety of inserts you can add to your order.

This is the max number of inserts I can do at this time so I tried to get as many options as possible. Thank you for understanding the limitations of this product.

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nightshade shows tarantulas the nonbinary and trans flags

Dear Princess Celestia, today I got my ass beat by a train conductor.