I’ll Make Fun Of Male Power Fantasy Batman For The Rest Of My Life.

greetings, crowbarman

Soft Lead

Clark Kent, a cartoonist for the Daily Planet, visits his number one fan, Bruce Wayne, at his home for breakfast.

Edit - Per some requests, this is now available on Gumroad as a PDF! It includes some of the doodles. It is FREE / Pay-What-You-Want.

https://gumroad.com/aluhnim

Ok so apparently we are getting a live action short series of Webtoon's Wayne Family Adventures

I DONT KNOW IF ITS TRUE BUT IF IT IS IM EXCITED

Gomez Addams IMMEDIATELY going to Gotham after his weird nephew from New Jersey started dressing as a Bat, beating people up in the dead of night, dropped out of college, and called him to ask for sword fighting and eyeliner tips:

Jim Gordon: do you realize how fast you were driving?! I can only look the other way so much!

Batman: Brazilian free-tailed bats can fly at speeds up to 99mph

Jim: just…just try not to do it again

Batman: the rocket on the batmobile is supposed to mimic the tail of a Brazilian free-tailed bat

Batman’s greatest nemesis:

Joker

Riddler

Penguin

Margie

bruce didn’t actually care if clark got to eat, he just chose violence for the sake of it

Hi, Lee! Your AUs have given me many brainworms so I thought I'll share my brainworms in retaliation XD

No capes actor AU

Bruce inherited his love for theater and acting from Alfred. He's usually shy, awkward and a nervous wreck (think Battinson) but once he's behind a camera, he plays his role flawlessly. He can be the confident and gentle prince charming, the suave and flirtatious rogue or the cruel and sadistic monster. It doesn't matter, as long as the camera is rolling, Bruce Wayne is in character.

An important thing to note is that Bruce Wayne is unbelievably attractive. So, you have an attractive actor playing all these hot characters, what do you do? Create thirst traps obviously!

The kids suffer for it. Bruce keeps winning 'The Hottest Man Alive' and they can't even read reviews of movies their dad is acting in because all the comments are about how sexy he is. They're scrolling through twitter and suddenly someone tweets about the veins on Bruce Wayne's arms.

STOP! Their dad is lovable, innocent and sweet. Stop corrupting him with your lust!

Bruce stopped accepting romance roles because his kids begged him to (in an attempt to stop the thirst) but it got worst! They tell him to mention them in every one of his rare interviews (he's very shy so he doesn't do much interviews) to signal that he's a dad and very unavailable and the internet loves a DILF so you can guess what happened. They can't win. No matter what they do, people keep thirsting over their dad.

The kids are suffering and Bruce? Mr 'please don't perceive me' Wayne? He straight up blocked every mention of himself on the internet so he sees none of it. He told the kids to do the same but they wanted to read about how much people love their dad (they're very proud of him) so they endure the daily psychic damage and simply suffer.

I???? THIS IS A MASTERPIECE NEVER A MISTAKE. PERIOD EXCLAMATION MARK YAS MAMA SLAY THE WHITE HOUSE DOWN

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If I may add

BECAUSE he's a highly requested actor who's almost always in the headlines, Bruce can't see his babies as much as he wants to, so all those mother henning instincts can't be bottled up.

Bruce earns himself the reputation of being the Mom Friend to his co-stars.

There's a viral video somewhere of him doing Harley's make up for her because she claims only he can do it right, and a video of him feeding Selina yoghurt, and tying Harvey's shoelaces between takes if they film a project together

Personally, a huge fan of the " actors who play assholes but are in fact the biggest sweethearts " breed, so I'm gonna need the villains being cute as fuck behind the scenes.

If they're doing an intense fight scene, Bane apologizes to Bruce continuesly because the guy insists on doing his own stunts. Bruce always giggles between being patched up and pats his arm

Damian refuses to be left at home, and there's absolutely a viral video of tiny damian wayne jumping to kick and punch at Clark's leg (who plays Gray Ghost's rival in the movie) when he " attacks" Bruce and it made everyone's day

Selina accidentally injures Bruce the MOST and there's compilations of her accidentally kicking him straight in the jaw, or punching him, or dropping stuff on him, and looking impossibly guilty about it. " I'm sorry - I'm so sorry baby" and Bruce of course always is like " It's okay :D"

Bruce's trailer is everyone's hang out spot. He does instagram lives where he talks about theory and lore and technicalities, and there's just someone or someones always there!!

Diana practising sword fighting, Harley doing tik tok dances, Pam watering the flowers he gets everywhere they go in full Mother Nightmare get up, and they're just there to see him blush and mumble at the thirsty comments

Also the batkids are jealous of every single on screen child Bruce films with, because he's so affectionate and loving with them. Jason's twitter is just him dunking on every single child co-star and he's not at all sorry about it

Last post about this run I swear + three panels of Bruce that I think about way too often

Loml

Jason needs glasses to read😫💕