How I Wish I Could Give Her This.

That's my lady - go take what you want.

Really well said. 80% resonates with me.

Why He Let Me Do It

I had asked my husband to write a few notes about why he "lets" me do it. I don't mean to seem like he controls me, because he doesn't. However, if he told me tomorrow he'd like me to stop having sex with other men, I would. Because in the end it is about our marriage. So here's what he wrote.

Because it absolutely makes our communication stronger. There are no secrets, and that is super sexy and hot. Even when we're out and you say something like, "that guy is super hot". Every woman thinks it, but few have the freedoms to say it because of their own insecurity, or the insecurity of their husband, which comes out as jealousy. 

Sex was always good with you of course, but it's way better since it started. Way better. It's more erotic, since we open up our marriage. It never fails either--when you've been with other guys, our sex after is more passionate. I can feel it. 

I see your confidence and the fun that you're having. It doesn't take away from us, it adds to us, and to you. I love seeing how erotic you are, and I love it when you describe an encounter with your guys. Most men would be threatened, I am not. I love it. 

I love surprising you by planning a date for you with a random strager men. I love how it brings out the femininity in you. 

I love the not knowing. I go to work, and I don't know if you're having sex with someone. That makes every single day erotic in a hard-to-define way. In the times that I "catch" you in the act? Super freaking hot. 

All of the different possibilities that are opened up by this--the physical, mental, are all a lot of fun, and thrilling. I love the fact that you get a lot of sexual satisfaction, from me and from others. But in the end, I know you love it, and it brings us closer together. That's the best part. 

Yup. I just wish she'd use it.

Fantastic list. Great for starters who are still a little new to it all.

This is an awesome story. I so wish it was mine.

The beginning

When I first brought up this fantasy to my wife I think she was confused. Her concern was why would I want to share her with another man. I must admit, I kinda felt the same way. I mean I wasn’t even sure why I felt the need to see her with someone else. The thought of someone’s hands all over her body would make me feel all kinds of mixed feelings. On one hand, the naughtiness and lustfull feeling of my fantasy coming true would get me really excited, but on the other hand the taboo feeling and the way people would judge us if anyone found out would scare and make me feel wrong. All my life society has taught me that a man should marry have children and live a monogamous life, but what I felt was not that much different. I felt as if I could have all that and still have this secret sex life with the person I loved. I explained to my wife my thoughts on this fantasy, how I felt sex was just that sex. No strings attached no feeling involved and as long as we were both OK with it there was nothing wrong. We were not hurting anyone.

After the initial conversation we made the mistake of only touching the subject when we were fooling around. Up to this point it was just a fantasy nothing more than dirty talk and a bit of role playing. I think I enjoyed it more than she did, I would later come to find out this was true. Even though she played along she was still skeptical about the whole thing. A couple of months went by and I really wanted to make my fantasy come true.

At this time I was working as a security officer at a factory. The majority of my time during my shift consisted of me sitting in a booth with my supervisor who was only a few years older than me. We would just talk about all kinds of random stuff. One day… not sure how but my fantasy came up during a one of our conversations. This was the first time I had ever told anyone outside of my relationship about how I fantasized and how I felt about it. I told him how much I wanted to see my wife with another man, and how my conscience and morals made me feel like I was doing wrong. We talked about it for a while before he said to me something that launched my emotions into overdrive, he said to me “look man I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but I think your wife is beautiful” he then paused and said “I would love to be in your fantasy if you would allow me to” at that moment I felt a bit jealous and angry. This was the first time anyone had ever told me that they would love to fuck my wife, but at the same time I was really turned on by the fact that he wanted to. We both joked about it and left it alone.

A few days went by and then one night while my wife was her knees giving me a blow job I told her about my conversation with my supervisor. Her reaction was not what I expected, at first she thought I was kidding or just trying to talk dirty. I told her that I would really like to see this happen. It took me some time to get her to go along with it, but when she finally said OK I couldn’t wait.

The following day I decide to invite my supervisor to come over for a beer, he had no clue what my intentions were. The plan that night was for my wife to try and seduce him, she was nervous but since she knew that he liked her she wads ok to try. After a few beers she began to get closer to him and began to be flirtatious. As I watched this happen I could feel my cock begin to throb I was so excited. A few minutes of this went by then my wife pulled me into the kitchen and told me she couldn’t make a move, she felt nervous with me being there watching. I decided to give her some space and walked into the bedroom for a while. I stood by the door for a few minutes trying to listen to what was happening in the living room. When I finally decided to walk out the first thing I saw was my wife sitting on my supervisors lap and him sucking on her tits. At that moment I felt like could’ve exploded in my pants. My wife looked over at me with a look I could only describe as lustful, she told me to sit and watch. I sat their and watch her take off her shirt and yoga pants, he immediately pulled her panties off and began to eat her sweet pussy. As they began to fuck she asked me if this is want I wanted to see, to wich I responded yes many times. I watched them fuck until she told me to pull my cock out and started sucking it. We took turns fucking her pussy and mouth until we came. We all got dressed and called it a night I didn’t know what repercussions this night would have.

Since this experience we have had many other great sexual adventures and partners. Not all have been great but the majority have been full of naughty fun.

Absolutely. The whole point is that you enjoy it.

My fantasy marriage - Saturday night celebrations at home. (I'd forgotten how much fun drawing is - yes I'll do more, if you guys keep re-posting them)

Oooh, fuck away, my sexy wife.

Excellent. We've even done a few of these without realising it.

So you want to talk dirty but you have no clue what to say?

Dirty talk is an awesome way to explore your fantasies in a safe environment, but it can also be a daunting task if you’re not used to expressing your sexuality in such an explicit way.

What do you say? How do you say it? And how do you know he’ll like it?

Diclaimer: the following advice reflects our kinks and likes but the principles can be used for any fantasy you want to talk dirty about. We’re very much into hotwifing both of us. Basically he enjoys to watch me being fucked by a hung guy. He’s not into humiliation or being put down, but he do like to hear that another man can give me just as much pleasure as him, sometimes even more. For me, I enjoy walking that fine line where he’s a mix of horny and jealous. I want him to be horny thinking of me cumming over and over again, but I also love to know that it does sting a little bit when I tell him that a bigger dick can turn me into an obedient little slut and make me cum instantly.

Some safety rules.

First thing first. We don’t want your dirty talk to turn into a stupid argument, so let’s get some safety rules down first.

• Talk about what he like and doesn’t like beforehand. What I’m writing in this post is based on our likes and kinks, and they are not universal guidelines. You should always talk to your husband and find out exactly what it is he would love to hear from you. It’s important to keep this conversation non-sexual, so you get an honest answer, not a horny answer.

• What is said in dirty talk might not reflect real life. This goes both ways. Dirty talk is a great way to explore fantasies and boundaries, but not everything said when you’re raging horny is valid when you’re not. If something is said that surprises you, talk about it after. And remember, you’re going make him REALLY horny, so he might express fantasies or thoughts that is just that - fantasies and thoughts, and not necessarily something he wants to act on. In the same way you need to be clear about how you’re also just exploring your own fantasies as well as his, and might say something in the heat of the moment that you don’t necessarily mean or want to act out in real life.

• This is dirty talk, not a lie detector test. You’re allowed to exaggerate to increase his enjoyment, but I strongly advise you to reveal the truth after he’s had his orgasm so you won’t create a distorted image in his head.

What dirty talking is not

Dirty talking is not overthinking how to phrase the perfect sentence. In fact, once you start articulating your husband’s fantasies, I guarantuee he will be so horny he couldn’t care less how well you phrase it. Just the fact that you’re talking about his fantasies means that he’s too busy trying to keep his orgasm back to even care. Just relax and say something. Anything.

Don’t rush it

The goal with dirty talking is of course to make your husband have an amazing orgasm, but do not rush it!

I’ll dare say that for your husband the process and the talk itself is way more exciting than his orgasm. So take your time and let him  enjoy and simmer in it.

Don’t worry about repeating yourself

You might be thinking “but I already told him that story 3 times, I can’t think of something new”. Don’t worry about that, just tell it again. Trust me.

And now…. Without further ado here are my secret dirty talking methods that’ll make your husband lose his mind.

And then what

I find that the biggest obstacle in dirty talking is how to start it. That first thing you break the ice with. It can feel a bit awkward at first, but you’ll quickly get the hang of it. I’m a big fan of something I call the and then what technique. Basically you just start with a rather innocent question or statement and then evolve into the next natural thing that would happen. So you say something, and then pretend someone asks you “and then what” and then you answer that question.

So let’s pretend for a second you’re on top of your man, riding him cowgirl style and you want to spice it up a little.

Simply starting with a “you like the way I fuck you?” Is enough to break that awkward ice. He’ll answer yes of course. And then what? “then imagine how Mark (using names of actual guys you know works amazingly) would feel if I fucked him like this”

And then what?

“I would bounce up and down his cock just like this. He’ll get to feel how tight your wife’s pussy is”

And then what?

“then I want him to….”

You get it.

Reliving the past

My husband is very much into hearing stories about guys I used to fuck so this one is his favorite type of dirty talk. The way it goes is when I give him a handjob, blowjob or even ride him, I would say something like “you like the way I stroke your dick?” (asking if he likes it is always a great way to break the ice and initiate dirty talk without feeling awkward). This always gets me a very enthustiastic “YES!” to which I answer something like “this is exactly how I used to stroke [name of guy I used to fuck]’s cock…” (pause for dramatic effect) “except… His was a lot bigger than yours”. This line alone is usually enough to almost bring him over the edge, and if not it’s a great way to go into more details - how did it feel to stroke a much bigger dick, would you do it again, perhaps the guy used to get so horny that he would fuck you before you could finish the handjob, etc. Details, details, details, I can’t stress it enough.

Fair warning: not everyone is into hearing about your past! Make sure your husband is into that before springing this on him.

The commentator

This one is super easy because you don’t feel like you’re talking dirty, you’re just saying what’s on your mind. So the way it works is to watch porn with your man and simply make comments about the movie paying. Particularly about the guy and what you like about him. Compliment his dick, go into details about what you like about him, think out loud like “I really wish I could get fucked like that one day” / “look how big his dick is. He would make me cum so fast with that”

If you’ve fucked someone who reminds you of the guy, by all means tell your husband about it. Watching a porn with a guy who’s fucking some girl senseless and hearing your wife drop the bomb that the guy is the exact same size as some dude she dated in college is a sure way to make your husband look at the porn and all he will see is you being fucked right there on the screen. Very hot for both of you.

The yes ladder

This is a really simple but very effective technique that is easy for new dirty talkers and is guarantueed to drive him crazy.

In a nutshell what you do is ask him some questions that all leads to a yes. With each question the intensity in what you’re asking increases. There’s something crazy hot about this almost confessional way of talking dirty and being “forced to admit” your deepest fantasies. This is a great way to get yourself going, and to test out boundaries.

Optional: let him know ahead of time that you’re going to ask him questions and if he says no just once, he don’t get to cum. See what he’s willing to say yes to - just remember these are forced and horny yesses expressing what he likes in the heat of the moment. They don’t necessarily count in real life.

Example of a yes ladder.

“you like this huh”

“would you like it if i did this to another guy?”

“would you let me pick any guy i want?”

“what if i want a guy who’s bigger than you, would you allow that?”

“do you want him to fuck me hard?”

“what if he makes me cum really hard, can you handle that?”

“what if he makes me scream out his name, can you still handle it?”

“can I fuck him right here in our bed?”

“would you allow me to fuck someone I’ve dated before?”

“even if he really knows how to fuck me good?”

“what if I want him to fuck me while you wait in the other room, will you do that?”

You get it, just continue like this. Make the questions increasingly more provocative and test his boundaries, maybe even cross them if you know he can handle it.

The O-bomb

This method works extremely well if you’ve been teasing and playing with him for a while, keeping him right on the edge and he’s SO close now that you can make him cum any second.

All there is to it is asking him “do you want to cum?” he’ll answer yes almost pleading. And that’s when you drop the O-bomb. The O-bomb is some of the blue thought you put into his head and force him to cum to before he can even react.

For example: he just said yes he wants to cum. You then say “good. I want you to cum while you think of me cumming all over (name)’s big dick” and then you simply force him to cum before he even gets a chance to react. As he’s cumming you keep feeding him the thought over and over until he’s done. “yes, cum while you imagine how he makes me scream” etc.

The story

My personal favorite. One thing is to talk about imaginary stuff that could maybe some day happen. Another is to talk about stuff that actually already happened simply by telling him a story about some incredible hot sex you’ve had, either because the circumstances where hot, because the guy knew what he was doing and fucked your brains out or the guy happened to be seriously hung.

This is also super simple for you because you dont have to make anything up, you simply just tell what happened and describe the situation.

Don’t worry about elaborate descriptions or anything. Trust me he’ll ask you to elaborate when he hears something he likes. Just describe what happened and how it felt for you. Especially the “how it felt” part is very important.

The talk

Now in the safety rules i told you to talk about what he likes and dislikes without touching him so his arousal won’t reflect his answers. This time you do the exact opposite. Simply have a conversation about what he likes while slowly touching his dick. There’s something really hot about just talking while casually stroking him. And you’ll be able to measure his response simply by the way his dick throbs, which is incredibly hot.

How to start it: just casually ask him a question about his likes and as he answers you slowly start touching him while asking him more questions.

The close your eyes and imagine

Sometimes it can be a lot easier if your husband can’t see you when you talk dirty.

Example:

“close your eyes. Do you like my hands on. Your dick? Now imagine i was doing this to another guy. Stroking his big dick just like this. I would be so turned on knowing it isn’t you. My pussy would want to feel him inside me. Imagine how he would push me down and fuck me. Imagine how i would gasp when he starts to stretch me. How I would scream when he goes deeper than you.”

Do you see how the above also make use of the and then what technique to tell the next part of the story?

Putting it all together

Now, I know reading about it and actually doing it is two very different things. When you’re first starting out I actually advice you to plan out your dirty talking. This might not be as sexy and spontaneous, but while you’re still getting the hang of it it’s nice to be a little prepared so you don’t run out of things to say. I would also advice you to start off doing it while giving a handjob, as you will have a much easier time focusing on what to say than if you were giving a blowjob or having sex.

Let’s break the ice with an innocent “do you like the way it feels when I stroke your cock?”

When he says yes I would then say something like “good…. Now close your eyes” wait for him to do it.

Then: “would you like it if I did this to another man?” - “yes”

Then: “you know, [name of ex / bull / fantasy guy] used to love when I stroked his dick. Of course his was a lot bigger than yours, I could barely close my hand around it”

Then: “do you like that, thinking about how I used to stroke his big cock?” - “yes”

Then: “having that big cock in my hands always made me feel so tiny and horny”

Then: “do you want me to show you how I used to suck him?” - “yes”. Then put all your effort into giving the best head you have ever given.

Then: “mmh… Can you imagine how good his cock must have felt in my mouth? I used to suck him just like that until he came in my mouth”.

By now he should be getting pretty close, so it’s time put on the finale. Ask him “do you want to cum?” - “yes”. Start stroking him faster.

“tell me…” - make him say that he wants to cum.

“I want you to cum while you think of me getting fucked by [name]. He would always make me cum so hard. Imagine how I used to scream his name” - if you really want to go all out you could start moaning the name of this other guy, whether that’s your bull, an old fling, your husband’s friend or who ever you like to fantasize about.

Do you see how easy it flows from do you like it, to imagine it’s someone else, to describing how you used to do or would do it on someone else?

With time it will come naturally and you won’t have to plan ahead, but to begin with it’s nice to have an idea of how you want to start it, how you want to end it and how you bridge that gap.

There you have it. My secrets to driving your husband wild. Now go… Make him lose it.

How are you progressing toward actualizing the lifestyle in your marriage?

It's going well. It's still at fantasy stages, but she hasn't gotten bored with it and plays along nicely. Last week, I took my daughter to a school event. My wife worked late and we met back at home around 8pm. I asked if Robert (gym hotty) had come around while we were out. She ran with it completely, telling me how she had to kick him out early when I messaged that we were on our way home. I love my wife when she does stuff like this.