Bucket Of Bolts

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THE SEVEN TYPES OF LOVE

The human existence is vast and rich. Feelings, in particular, seem endless and varied. How can one define all that encompass what humans mean when they say love?

Philosophers in ancient Greece decided we could not. Which is why they decided to specify the type of love they referred to when they said love by categorizing them into seven major types.

Eros – Passionate, Romantic Love

Philia –Friendly, Affectionate Love

Storge –Familial, Unconditional Love

Agape – Selfless, Universal Love

Ludus – Playful, Flirtatious Love

Pragma – Dutiful, Committed Love

Philautia – Love of Self

1. Eros – Passionate Love

Eros is passionate love, and everything we think of when we think of the Hollywood version of love. To the ancient Greeks, this physical, desirous love could be dangerous. Powerful and possessive, it is easy to lose control of. Relationships built solely on eros tend to be short-lived, as passion is transient by nature.

It represents the love found in sexual intimacy and romance.

2. Philia –Friendly Love

Philia is a friendly love. It is shared goodwill. A friendship that is not only associated with mutual benefit but also with companionship, dependability, and trust.

Real friends seek together to live truer, fuller lives by relating to each other authentically and learning each other’s limitations. They help each other become their best selves.

Essentially, you can think of Philia as the type of love where you simply want the best for another person. The ancient Greeks thought it was even more precious than Eros, the foundation of the best kind of friendship.

3. Storge – Familial Love

Storge is the unconditional love between kin, in particular the love parents have for their children. More broadly, storge is the fondness born out of familiarity or dependency.

It is defined by unconditional acceptance and sacrifice. Compared to eros and philia, it is much less contingent on our personal qualities.

People in the early stages of a romantic relationship often expect unconditional storge, but find only the need and dependency of eros. If they are lucky, given enough time and care, eros can mutate into storge or philia.

4. Agape – Selfless Love

Agape is compassionate love. It is an empathetic, selfless love for others that includes a love for other humans, for nature, or for a higher power.

It doesn’t depend on familiarity. Instead, it is the love for the stranger or the unknowable. Agape has links to altruism, which is understood as an unselfish, genuine concern for the welfare of others. It is a love that expects absolutely nothing in return, and in turn, just makes you feel good.

A lot of people consider agape to be a spiritual love, expressed through meditation, nature, intuition, and spirituality.

5. Ludus – Playful Love

Ludus is playful love. Flirtatious, seductive and non-committal—Ludus is all about having fun. The point of this love is the experience itself rather than the feelings.

Ludus is evident at the beginning of a relationship, when we feel full of play, teasing, and excitement.

Dancing, seducing, will-he-won't-he and all that jazz, it can lead to a one-night stand, a no-strings-attached fling, or a long and casual relationship. As long as there is a sense of play and levity from both parties, it is ludus, an uncomplicated sort of love.

6. Pragma – Dutiful Love

Pragma is a practical love founded on reason, duty and the couple’s long-term interests. Sexual attraction takes a back seat in favor of shared goals, compatibility, and "making it work." The higher common purpose is served, rather than the individual's desires.

In the simplest of terms, it is long-term and works thanks to constant nurturing. It is seen in long-term marriages and friendships. Respect is fundamental, as is serving the purpose of the union. Its qualities are commitment, endurance, companionship, and sharing similar hopes for the future.

This type of love is an accepting love that matures as the couple spends year after year together. It can be associated with storge or philia. A healthy pragma is sincere, patient, mature, and in all honesty, quite rare (and therefore special).

7. Philautia – Self Love

Finally, philautia is self-love. It is based on a sense of self-worth. It can be healthy or unhealthy.

Unhealthy self-love is akin to hubris. In Ancient Greece, people could be accused of hubris if they placed themselves above the gods, or, like certain modern politicians, above the greater good. Philosophers believed that hubris was the enemy and led to destruction.

Healthy self-love, on the other hand, is akin to self-esteem, which is our cognitive and also emotional appraisal of our own worth. More than that, it is the matrix through which we think, feel, act, and reflect on the way we relate to ourselves, to others, and to the world.

In everyday language, "self-esteem" and "self-confidence" tend to be used interchangeably. However, self-esteem and self-confidence do not always go hand in hand. In particular, it is possible to be highly self-confident and yet to have profoundly low self-esteem, as is the case, for example, with many performers and celebrities.

Of all of the different kinds of love, this one is often the most challenging for people. However, it is foundational to the other types of love. Ancient Greeks saw philautia as the necessary love that made it possible to give and receive love from other people. We cannot give what we don’t have. And so, we cannot love others if we don’t love ourselves first.

Philautia, therefore, is something like self-compassion. Much like we show affection and love to other people, it is important to show that affection to ourselves, to be compassionate to one’s self and able to forgive.

Greek philosophers believed that true happiness could only be achieved when one had unconditional love for themselves, which makes it possible to love others truly in turn.

The Seven Loves

In closing, there is, of course, a kind of porosity between the seven types of love, which seep and pass into one another. Some philosophers believed love aimed at beautiful and good things, because the possession of beautiful and good things is happiness, and happiness is good and beautiful in itself. 

Of all good and beautiful things, the best, most beautiful, and most dependable is truth or wisdom. It teaches us about ourselves, about others, and about life, which help us make better choices through this greater understanding and therefore live better lives.

We tend to agree.

Love, in all its forms, is one of the most powerful emotions in the world.

Note: 

Our sources are below in order of credibility, but this exploration of the different types of love is in our own words and based on both our reading and our own understanding of the concepts. 

Early Greek philosophy

Platonic Love

Love like a Greek: the 7 loves according to Ancient Greek philosophy

These Are the 7 Types of Love

7 Types Of Love (from Greek)

What Are the 7 Types of Love?

Chapters: 1/7 Rating: Explicit Relationships: Shin Hati/Sabine Wren

When Sabine Wren and Shin Hati cross paths in a bar in Coruscant in ABY 6, they indulge in a night of pleasure with no strings attached, like the good Jedi padawans they are.

Part of the Femslash Feb 24 Challenge and the Star Wars: All Types of Love Challenge (Ludus).

Rating: Explicit Relationships: Bo-Katan Kryze/Ahsoka Tano Summary:

Bo-Katan would do whatever needed to comfort the broken-hearted Ahsoka.

Part of the Femslash Feb 24 Challenge (Bonds) and the @starwarsalltypesoflove Challenge (Ludus + Philia).

Today is the day! Welcome, everyone, to Star Wars: All Types of Love week! It's time to start sharing our creations!

To share with us, use the tag SWATOLW and/or @ us, and please tag what type of love your work is celebrating! We'll be adding all shared posts to a queue.

Happy posting! We are excited to celebrate with you.

Sorry if this is a silly question- would sexual love fall into ludus? Romantic & sexual love/attraction are separate, so I wanted to confirm if they are both not allowed for this event or just romantic?

Hi @armoralor! Not a silly question at all. Sexual relationships and sexual attraction are most definitely allowed, as long as those relationships/feelings are not also romantic.

The only requirement is that, to go with the sexual aspect, there must be love! This is the focus of our event. That love could born out of ludus, but it could also be philia, pragma, or in some cases even philautia. Have fun with it!

something inside you is singing

independent_variables

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus Characters: Ezra Bridger, The Force (Star Wars), Kanan Jarrus Additional Tags: Homelessness, Accidental Use of the Force (Star Wars), Young Ezra Bridger, Pre-Canon, ezra growing up homeless and unknowlingly force sensative, and how that might have played out, kanan doesn’t really show up until the end, why don’t they have a relationship tag for the force smh Summary:

If he thought about it hard enough, Ezra could hear something inside him singing. Just a simple tempo, beating in time with his heart. A tune set to the rhythm of the universe.

But he didn’t like to think about it too hard.

—

This is an older fic that focuses on how Ezra interacts with the Force growing up. It’s enough about how the Force loves Ezra that I felt comfortable sharing for Star Wars: All Types of Love week, for Agape.

Promise of Spring

Bail invites Obi-Wan to take a break from post-war rebuilding efforts to celebrate Alderaan's first day of spring. Written for Fandom Empire Prompt Tables 2024 - Prompt: "Spring Equinox" and Star Wars: All Types of Love Week - Prompt: "Philia" and StarWars100 - Prompt: "Peace"

Read on AO3

Bail waited patiently as the ramp extended from the ship and the door opened. Obi-Wan emerged, smiling and arms spread wide as he approached Bail.

“I know it’s midsummer on Coruscant,” Bail said as he returned the hug. “But I’m glad you could make it for Alderaan’s First of Spring celebration.”

“As am I,” Obi-Wan said. “Though I can’t say I’ve been on Coruscant much lately.”

“Recovery efforts going well, then? I haven’t seen you since the project on Malastare.”

“As well as they can be,” he said. “It takes far longer to rebuild than to destroy, I’m afraid. Your efforts in the Senate are appreciated, but funding can only do so much.”

Bail understood. He’d been on site on plenty of post-war efforts too, and seen the ruined cities and ravaged countrysides; the grief and unease and distrust, all the worse for the knowledge that each side had been betrayed from the onset.

“Come,” Bail said. “We can discuss work later. Today is a day of celebration, and I know you’ll enjoy the festivities.”

Obi-Wan listened attentively as Bail took him around the city and explained the traditions of their celebration of spring. The climate of Alderaan was, of course, such that the beginning of spring still looked much like winter, and the cold air bit at their faces as they walked, offset by the warmth of sharing in celebration with his people and with his friend.

But though the day still resembled winter, the promise of those warmer, vibrant days was evident throughout in the vast displays of traditional artwork and craftsmanship, depicting flowers and rain and sunshine, and in the lively dances and the street performances, in the laughter and singing.

A reminder that they had survived the terrible, cold winter, and that life would grow again.

Agape, unconditional love born out of compassion for your fellow sentient being.

For @starwarsalltypesoflove, in honor of @amarcia 's ocs, whom I love with all my heart.