Staunchen - Yeah. 28. Idk Whats Happening

You know, that bit about "If you offend someone, make sure it's not Yunmeng Jiang and not their Leader specifically!" is just so fascinating to me.

Because - what happened?

What the hell happened to solidify the Jiang as the "find out" of Jianghu??

Like, sure, Sandu Sengshou "killed Yiling Laozu" so you probably don't want to mess with the guy - but a whole sect?? "Don't mess with them or they'll clap back" is a bit of a different fame than "he's torturing demonic cultivators!" - that former is an experience-based life advice.

So, what happened? Did JC punch someone square in the face during a sect conference? Called Sect Leader Yao for a duel and kicked his ass? Fucked up a bunch of trade representatives when they tried to take advantage of the fledgeling Jiang sect??? Took Jin Guangyao's hat and held it out of his reach????

And exactly how trigger-happy are the Jiang disciples to be known as the people you don't fuck with???

I need to know what the hell happened!

having a lot of thoughts this evening about the classic yunmeng reconciliation trope of “magic plot device forces the jiang cheng sacrifice reveal” running head first into “wei wuxian is canonically The Worst™ at boundaries” and in cql canon literally sticks a mind control talisman on lwj for a prank and it’s never mentioned again

so like. picture this. Jiang Cheng has a secret. no, not that secret, some other secret. something smaller and almost as sad and maybe even a little tawdry??? Jiang Cheng has fucked, is what I’m saying. and there’s some monster who eats virgins and Wei Wuxian is GLEEFUL at the opportunity to SWOOP IN AND SAVE HIS SHIDI, of course he and hanguang-jun will take care of it chengcheng, only for extremely grumpy jiang cheng to red-facedly inform his brother that he is NOT a virgin and he can lead his own night hunts THANK YOU

and the top of wei wuxian’s head comes off

Jiang Cheng. JIANG CHENG. His tiny baby awkward blushing foot-in-mouth shidi. JIANG CHENG. Jiang Cheng who was blacklisted by the matchmakers. Jiang Cheng who was supposed to be SAVING HIMSELF FOR MARRIAGE LIKE A PROPER YOUNG SECT HEIR. jiang cheng has fucked. 

Wei Wuxian has to know. he HAS to know. he is insane. he is bothering jiang cheng CONSTANTLY. he will not shut up. he will never shut up. Jiang Cheng will not know peace until he reveals to Wei Wuxian who dared to sully his precious baby brother with their slutty hands!!!!

but of course it’s like…sad. a few doomed wartime trysts with Nie Mingjue, or a single slow aching fumbling goodbye with Wen Qing who decided she didn’t want to die a virgin, or a few companionable years falling exhausted into bed with Jin Guangyao and/or Qin Su once the boys were FINALLY asleep…or for maximum gut punch, maybe it’s the old standby where Jiang Cheng was raped after his capture. 

the point is, this isn’t a fun funny sexy story for Jiang Cheng, this isn’t an exploit to crow over or an embarrassing but ultimately warm encounter. this is an old, quiet, painful, pointless memory of something tragic that Jiang Cheng still feels miserable about, and also thinks he’s pathetic for feeling miserable, and also it’s fucking private. so no matter how much WWX whines and wheedles and threatens and cajoles and begs, he won’t tell. he gets angry and snappish at first, and then instead of cracking, he just starts retreating into himself and not responding to WWX any more, which is, obviously, UNacceptable!!! 

the minute the evil not-unicorn is dead wwx invents a truth talisman in a 76-hour frenzy, slams it on jiang cheng’s back, and gets more than he bargained for

XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS (1995–2001) Season 6, Episode 3, 'Heart of Darkness'

🐿️⚜️

The meme

it obviously proves that it's very dangerous for the two of them to be together lol

Please tell me there's at least one fic where Wei Wuxian's return means that Jiang Cheng's golden core starts to glitch and cause problems (wants to return to its original owner) and the only way to deal with it is dual cultivation-___-

Please.

drawing Them in this particular scene was actually devastating to my emotional well-being :D

I’ve been having some thoughts about sub!Eskel. For he is a rare and elusive creature. Geralt? We all know he loves to be tied up, spanked and called baby. But Eskel? He’d look away and grit his teeth.

I usually write him as a dominant partner if I’m going to write D/s (and I know many people are the same, because he exudes the energy), but I think he would be a very good submissive in a very specific set of circumstances. No pet names, careful negotiation and framing of the scene. 

Influenced by discussions I’ve had across several servers about different dynamics, so thanks to anyone who has ever chatted with me about this, you the real MVPs.

Keep reading

I just realized that xicheng makes perfect sense if they're lesbians and now I have to sit down. Your ex who is also your other ex's ex blows up your life spectacularly? Fuck her coparent/ex-wife and then uhaul your way into a yearlong lease. not even maliciously, just because at this stage in the ex-chain you're running out of options and keep being emotional in each other's vicinities and want to touch a boob. It's the move! It's the ONLY move.

how insane do you think wwx would go when he's traveling all around the cultivation trying not to think of lotus pier, only to hear that somehow sect leader jiang got knocked up??? (with, unbeknownst to wwx, his own golden core baby!!)

"!!! HOW? SHIDI EXPLAIN??"

"What the fuck, why didn't I think of that?" Think of what, Wei Wuxian?? Which part? COME BACK AND ANSWER ME.

"Jiang Cheng can't raise a child by himself." Jin Ling is right there. You've met him. He's clearly fine?

"Hahaha, someone knocked up Jiang Cheng."

[YLLZ boot-up noises.]

DickTim Week Day 4: Body Swap | Dick having a revelation

@dicktimweek

Warnings for usual curse-words, reckless driving, and nothing else I hope

Keep reading