Patrol Is Fun :DD

Jason would adopt a kid (or a kid would adopt Jason, let’s be real) and he would never outright tell anyone. It would be up to everyone ELSE to find out. Whether that be by accident or by suspicious snooping

Jason: hey guys, im gong to the store. anyone want anything? tim: uh some granola bars for patrol would be great. what are you going to the store for? jason: *non-chalantly* a night light tim: tim: are you . . . afraid of the dark? jason: no tim:

jason: *yanking a super sugary cereal out of dick's hands* that stunts growth and development dick: dick: i am,,,,, fully rown and developed?????? jason: well then you're setting a bad example for young and impressionable children dick: damian????????? jason: no dick: then who?????

cassandra: would you like to come to my ballet recital? everyone else is busy. jason: umm . . . can i bring a plus one? cassandra: sure. who? jason: my daughter cassandra: awww that's a great idea! later: cassandra: wait. you don't have a daughter. jason: yes i do? cassandra: okay then. *promptly never mentions it to anyone else*

steph: *visiting jason* uh . . . dude jason: *wearing a "my dad jokes are the price of my cooking" apron and cooking while holding a child on his hip* yea? steph: steph: what the FU- jason: LANGUAGE steph: -DGE

bruce: jason has been acting off. i need the two of you to tail him tonight and report back to me. stephanie: no. bruce: what do you mean no? duke: i wouldn't willingly tail jason todd if you told me you would pay for my college bruce: im already going to pay for your college duke: exactly. and i'm gonna to need my life to make use of that fact. so im not going to tail the murderous crime lord turned vigilante. no way. bruce: something's wrong, i'm telling you two. stephanie, who has alrady met her niece and is the first aunt to have been named: ask someone else dude. idk what else t' tell ya

bruce: tim, something's wrong with jason tim, who found out through steph the day previous and has since met his niece as well: he got a girl bruce: *wide-eyed* he has a girlfriend???? tim: that's not-- you know what, sure

Jason: I'm gonna sing you a song.

Roy: Please don't.

Jason: It's called 'My Life'.

Jason: *screams.*

Jason: *putting on a coat at six in the morning* dick: whoa, wait, you’re never up this early. What are you doing??? Jason: *non-chalantly* I’m going to adopt a child dick: Jason: *walks out the door* dick: *knocks over like fifteen things in order to follow his brother* JASON. WAIT UP. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. Jason: *heading to his car* I’ve decided to adopt a child, Dickie, get with the program. Dick: WHY??? Jason: *sighs* because I had a dream in which I adopted a kid but then I woke up and it wasn’t real and I felt very sad and guilty for abandoning my kid Dick: Dick: you had a dream— Jason: that I adopted a kid, yeah Dick: and you’re currently mourning your . . . Imaginary child Jason: kind of, yeah Dick: Dick: *tearing up* I’ll call B and get together the necessary paperwork. Meet you at the adoption agency in thirty?

Just a lil thing ❤️ (text may be hard to read, I'll include the panel by panel text under the break.

Roy: "Hey Todd, you ever think about gettin' hitched?"

Jason: "Ttch!"

Roy: "C'mon, for real dude."

Jason: "Whatever."

Roy: "Dude."

Jason: "What? It's easier that way! I can focus on the mission - no loose threads - no one hurt."

Roy: "Well, not to mention your Daddy issues - subscription, lol."

Jason: "... e-yup."

Roy: "Wait - hold up - "

Jason: "You c'mon Roy-"

Jason: "Besides, (heh), Who would want me? (heh heh!)"

Roy: "Jason."

Roy (thinking): "Why are all Bats so fuckin' clueless??"

Roy: "Jaybird plz." (I didn't wear my slut shirt for nothing, Jackass.)

Jason: "Wha?"

Roy: "Jason - you dense idiot."

Roy: "I want you!"

No matter if you choose to consider that Jason had the worst time ever in the League of Assassins or that, quite opposite, it was more or less okay, I think we all should unite and agree that Jason would be Ra's bane of existence. This boy is a brat. A certificated one, even. He is not an easy boy to handle, never and ever.

Ra's, after locking Jason up away from the society for a few days: Now. Do you realise what I am trying to say to you? You should focus on your studies. On your trainings. Forget about easy, normal life, about teenage shenanigans. Find peace. Throw unnecessary thoughts away.

Jason, yawning: Yeah, okay. Sure.

Ra's waking up in the 5am because someone is blasting NSYNC's Bye Bye Bye on the whole castle: Talia. What is this?

Talia, shrugging: Jason found old music speakers. He says he is... focusing like this. Just like you advised him to.

Ra's with his eye twitching: Is. he. Now.

Ra's: (accidentally trips on his cloak)

One of the Assassins, in their local comms: Chat, clip that

Ra's, frowning: What is that? What had you said? What is this nonsense?

Assasin: Uh, general had taught us—

Ra's: STOP LISTENING TO HIM, FOR GOD'S SAKE

Ra's: Talia, we need to send the boy to All-Caste. I think he needs some time away. From us. From me. Specifically.

(A certain amount time later)

Ra's, sighing in relief: Finally, peace—

Jason, spawning behind his back: Hi.

Ra's, groaning: YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THE CLEANSING CEREMONY, OH MY GOD

Jason: Wanna check All Blade? It is kinda cool.

Ra's, pausing: ...Yeah.

Ra's farewelling Jason, who returns to Gotham: I have nothing to wish upon you. Be as annoying to Batman as you were to me.

Jason, smirking: Aw-w, I barely unleashed my annoyingness with you, Ra's. Bruce is going to suffer more.

Ra's: ...Good.

Ra's, closing the door behind him: Barricade the castle. Set bombs. I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM HERE EVER AGAIN!!!

Also Ra's a half of a year later, watching footage of Jason terrorising everyone's life in Gotham, with tears in his eyes: That's my grandson. I am so proud of him.

Talia, raising her eyebrows: You tried to drown him in the Lazarus Pit. Twice.

Ra's: Shhh.

Talia: Then I'll invite him on holidays this year.

Ra's: NO.

Headcanon Bruce never says I love you. However, he does end all texts with “love dad” to all his children.

Post resurrection Jason receives a text from Bruce inviting him to the manor for brunch.

He smashes his phone then cries for an hour.

Bruce has to spend a day working an important mission with the league at the watchtower but the kids are bored so he tells them as long as they don’t disrupt the JL’s work they can hang around the watchtower and then get takeout on the way home. they succeed in keeping themselves to themselves but don’t quite manage not being disrupting. this is because Tim convinced them to do a tiktok trend.

*the league, pouring over case files in serene silence*

*heard faintly from three rooms away*

Tim, Damian, and Jason: we listen and we don’t judge,

Jason: my original plan for terrorising B after coming back to Gotham was to start leaving him a bunch of creepy voicemails Taken-style, and the only reason i scrapped it was because i just genuinely couldn’t remember Bruce’s phone number.

*Bruce lifts his head, squinting slightly*

The kids: we listen and we don’t judge,

Tim: when i was nine my camera broke because a rogue that Batman was fighting threw the car i left it in off a bridge and i was so mad at Batman that i sold photos i’d taken of Bruce Wayne wearing a thong on his private beach to the Gotham Gazette to buy a new one

*the rest of the league also lift their heads, staring at Bruce uncomfortably. Bruce shifts in his seat*

Jason: THAT WAS YOU?

Tim: YOU’RE JUDGING WE SAID NO JUDGING-

Damian: i feel like we should be able to judge OCCASIONALLY.

*the league, eyeing each other*

Clark: they wont… post that video online, right?

Bruce, sighing: to the family groupchat, probably.

*heard again from across the watchtower*

The kids: we listen and we don’t judge,

Jason: back in the league Damian’s hamster died and we told him it was natural causes but it’s actually because i set it loose during a meeting and Ra’s freaked out and stepped on it.

Jason: OK DRAWING A SWORD MEANS JUDGEMENT DAMIAN PUT IT BACK-

Diana: should you be… checking on them?

Bruce, dead inside: what am i supposed to do about it?

Ollie: aren’t you in charge of them?

Bruce, completely seriously: i’m not in charge of anything anymore.

The kids: we listen and we don’t judge,

Damian: when I was a child I was forced to kill 183 people and I dream of their faces every night

Tim: Damian I don’t think you understand the game.

Bruce, getting up: I’m going to go-

The rest of the league, simultaneously:

Clark: see if the kids are-

Diana: we can handle this-

Barry: you got this buddy-

Ollie: yeah go- go take a break-

i think one of the saddest things about Under the Red Hood is that this is the one panel that actually shows just how young Jason really is.

This is fucking stupid but I decided to post this again after I deleted it a long time ago bc I hated it. Anyways gojo gave birth to megumi he is literally a mother

Wedding :)