If You Haven’t Read The Hellblazer’s Apprentice, By @bluelotuswrites This Is Your Sign. Necromancer

obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.

Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-

*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*

Bruce:

Bruce: uh-

Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.

the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.

eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.

Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?

Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.

Bruce, crying: oh

Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.

one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.

after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.

Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal

Damian: is anything about any of us normal

Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.

Dick:

Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.

Dick, crying: ok

. . . Funny idea my brother and I had one day: What if the batkids continuously adopted one another?

—

Jaybin: Yeah, B is in the middle of the adoption process, so...

Dick: Hey. You know what'd be hilarious?

Jason: Huh?

Dick: If I adopted you. That way, you'd be Batman's grandson. Make him feel old.

Jason: . . . 'Aight bet.

Jason lived with Bruce, he was Bruce's son, but much to Bruce's annoyance and irritation Dick managed to snag the legal rights over Jason, making him Dick's "adoptive son." But, it wasn't that big a deal, Bruce guesses. Anyways, that's how Jason became Jason Todd-Grayson-Wayne.

—

Now, Jason did not like Tim when he came back from the dead, definitely not fond of the little f*cker. However, he became somewhat okay-ish with his existence after Bruce's "death" and, also, thought it'd be funny.

Jason: Hey, pretender.

Tim: What?

Jason: So, you have no legal guardian since Bruce died.

Tim: He is not dead.

Jason: Sure, sure, sure, anyways, you need a legal guardian and I don't give a f#&$ what you do.

Tim: . . . Elaborate?

Jason: I have the papers printed out already.

And, thus, Timothy Jackson Drake-Todd-Grayson-Wayne is born and also Bruce's expression is hilarious when he finds out. Dick celebrates having a grandson and Jason realizes quickly how he's f*cked up whenever he receives calls from Tim's school that he dropped out of or has to get a call from the hospital when Tim has his weekly near death experience...

—

Damian was much easier.

Damian: Timothy, I have heard the most ridiculous rumor that you are Grayson's grandson and adopted by Todd!?

Tim: Oh, yeah, it's funny.

Damian: . . . I want in.

Tim:

Damian:

Tim: Bernard, you want in on this?

Bernard: Hell yeah!

Damian is a bit to proud when he holds up his new birth certificate, stating "Damian Thomas Al Ghul-Drake-Todd-Grayson-Wayne-Dowd." Bruce is really, really not impressed and Cass is so glad she's manages to avoid this odd family tradition...

So, by law, Damian is both Bruce's son and great great grandson, Dick's great grandson, Jason's grandson, and Tim and Bernard's son. Bruce eventually forces them all to a courthouse to get paperwork done so he can make them all regular siblings and all his children, but they all complain the entire time and Tim accuses Bruce of taking him from his Father, Jason throws in some fake tears, Dick makes himself dramatically pass out... The press eat it up.

—

“so what’s your favorite batfam trope?”

“bruce calling his kids sweetheart/sweetie/baby/any petname”

“what—“

-

Dick, accidentally scraping his knee: ow

Bruce, worried: you okay, dear?

Dick, a 30 year old man:

Dick, tearing up: no…

Cass: 😐

Cass: *period cramp*

Cass: 😐

Bruce, knocking on her door: cass?

Cass, suddenly on the floor curled up and sniffling: dad, period hurts 😢

Bruce, slamming the door open, picking his daughter up then tucking her back in her bed: i’m sorry baby. i’m here now, what do you need?

Red Robin, cranky and stressed, having been awake for 120 hours: ugh! why can’t you people do anything right!?

Wonder Girl, also sleep deprived: you arrogant piece of—

Red Robin, suddenly walking away, grabbing his civilian phone: *angrily dials a number*

Bruce, in a WE meeting, answering: hello? tim?

Red Robin, voice breaking: dad?

Bruce:

Batman, requesting access to Mount Justice:

Superboy, eye bags darker than black: what’s batman doing here

Red Robin, packing up, speed walking out the door:

Batman, out of sight: oh, don’t cry sweetie, let’s go home hm?

Bruce, washing the dishes:

Damian, entering the room: baba?

Bruce, smiling: yes?

Damian, shuffling towards him, holding something behind his back:

Bruce: what do you have there?

Damian, embarrassed but determined, holds up a drawing of him and Bruce:

Bruce:

Bruce, tears streaming down his face: it’s beautiful habibi

Bruce: *sleeping*

Jason:

Jason: b

Bruce: ?!

Bruce: j-jay?

Bruce: what are you- oh.

Jason, laying next to him, face hidden in his chest: fuck you.

Bruce:

Jason:

Jason, quietly: i take it back. love you…dad.

Bruce, crying again: i love you too, sweetheart

-

now with a part 2!

bonus: captain marvel

I adore Garth

kitty hood and PAWrsenal

Bruce: As you all know, this mission is going to be dangerous so I want you guys to pair up. Whoever’s left over will go with me.

Sounds of people shuffling around the room followed by an awkward silence

Jason (only one standing alone without a teammate): …

Jason: Wooooow do I really scare you guys that much? You guys are really going to stick me with that old fart?

Dick: Sorry, Jason. I promised Damian I’d team with him this time.

Damian: Yes. Last time I did a mission with you Todd, you threw me off a building.

Steph: Cassie and I have been dyyyyying to work together for the longest time and this is the first time our schedules have aligned for long enough to do it.

Cass: Nods in agreement Tim: Last time we worked together you called me a nerd the whole time, completely disregard the plan and almost got us both killed.

Duke: I am genuinely just scared of you.

Jason: … You know, all pretty valid points. Looks like it’s you and me, old man.

Bruce *pinching his brow*: I knew this was a bad idea…

It was an accident :(((

vroom vroom bitch

you’re in his HOUSE

Freshly adopted Jason, who is so used to taking care of his mother that the first morning in the manor, he wakes up in early hours to cook for Bruce, too.

Logically speaking, he understands that Bruce doesn't need it — he is a healthy adult, and they have Alfred — but it is six in the morning, and his mind is foggy, so he just follows his instincts. Maybe he does not even realise that mom is not here, after all.

Alfred finds him in the weakly dimmed kitchen when he finishes his walk around the Manor before starting with his chores. He is amused at first, stopping quietly behind the child. He is doing great (that's a surprise since Dick intentionally just stirred more trouble), and Alfred can't help but smile a little.

'Good morning, master Jason. If you are hungry, you should wake me up the next time. I promise to take care of you.'

Jason blinks owlishly, still awfully sleepy. His eyes are barely opened, his hands working on the automat.

'Breakfast,' he mumbles, frowning a little. 'For mom- I mean, for dad.'

Alfred's smile falters. His original impression shifts in a late realisation.

Oh.

'Master Jason, you shouldn't really-'

'Finished,' he yawns, putting a one — just one, nothing for himself at all — plate in front of Alfred.

It is a very simple dish, scrambled eggs with some black paper and toasted bread — but not even made in a toaster, just on the pan; this kid probably doesn't know how to use toasters. It smells nice, Alfred compliments mentally.

'Can you-' He yawns. 'Pass to-'

And then little Jason falls asleep helplessly, falling right in Alfred's arms. He catches him, of course. This boy weighs nothing at all.

'Hey, Al,' Bruce sticks his head in the kitchen, no less sleepy. 'What is going on?'

Alfred explains to Bruce what happened, and he is no less distraught. He helps him to put Jason in the bed and eats all the breakfast he prepared, with a mixture of delight and despair.

And when Jason wakes up, embarrassed by the faint memories of the early morning, Alfred puts a big plate in front of him, filled with so much food that his big blue eyes light up instantly.

'Bon appetite, master Jason,' he smiles. 'Your cooking had passed my personal standards for a cook. You are a good soldier.'

Jason giggles, his mouth already stuffed with bacon.

'That I am.'

And that he always will be.