Spending Time With My Family... I Am Definitely Going To Hear Some Stupid Things

"I'm so sad that sloths don't know how much I appreciate them..."

"I can't believe people live in California..."

“Stop breaking this pencil! Do you know how expensive this was?!”

-Somebody with a cheap pencil they probably found on the floor

“Why does February have, like, no days??”

-Someone I used to think was smart

“You’re in trouble!”

-My science teacher in the same way kids do after someone was told to come to the office

“You’re the kind of person who invades a medieval castle in the winter.”

-My brother

He ate his friend. He ate his fucking friend

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse…

M: …

B: …

M: …

B: We skinned him.

M: …

B: We needed the leather!

“He’s not Year 7 stupid, he’s Year 9 stupid.”

-My friend, describing her brother in Year 7

“Elizabeth, what’s your name?”

-my mother

“Hula Hoops are the food of the Gods!”

-Me, being right