I'm Not Crying You Are

part of the reason i love how bell hooks talks about masculinity is that she shows real compassion towards men suffering from the effects of toxic masculinity. she was conscious of how we need to unlearn the ways we talk about men + masculinity just as much as we need to unlearn the same for women + femininity. so many times ill see someone talking about toxic masculinity like (hyperbolizing here but only slightly) "these FUCKING STUPID BABY BITCHES won't MAN UP and go to a therapist!!!" and like. i get the anger. but you see feminists recreating patriarchal manhood by only promoting good behaviors through patriarchal frameworks. any use of the term "real men" is bad because it reifies the idea that manhood is a special title you must earn, and it is something possible to fail and fake. & as important as it is to promote sexual equality + the pleasure of non-cis-men, lots of people are essentially still working with the idea that men need sexual prowess to have worth but just shifting it slightly so there is more emphasis on women's pleasure. but I want cis men to think about their partners' pleasure because they care about their partners, not because they need to check a box in order to keep their man card. and don't get me started on small dick jokes– and the absolutely pitiful excuse people will use that "well, I don't believe it, but misogynistic men get upset when I say it, so it's okay!"

basically bell hooks is so fucking right. in order to create loving men we need to love men, simply for being alive, whether or not they are performing. as much as we need to actively unlearn misogyny (and we do), it's equally vital we unlearn patriarchal ways of seeing manhood. we can't just assume that taking a feminist perspective automatically means there is no work to be done there.

You need motivation to study? Let me introduce you to spiteful studying. When you study a subject to prove someone wrong. When you spend hours writing up notes so that you can get that grade and smile smugly at the teacher who predicted you a lower grade. Find someone to prove wrong, it can be a teacher, a parent, friend or just to prove society that you’re so much more capable then they say you are!

Trust me, it works.

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.

I really admire how you've grown your Tumblr. Can you share how you started off on this platform and what advice you would give a new Tumblr use who's a writer who wants to do the same?

Growing on Tumblr...

So You Want To Start A Blog? Here’s a little bit about getting started. Some advice, some resources, some things you may want to keep handy, etc. 

Post consistently and try to keep a comprehensive theme/sensibility to your content and your blog. You want people to visit again and again, and you want them to immediately be interested in whatever you post when it appears on their dashboard. You want to stay in their mental orbit when they’re logged on, and you want to continue capturing their attention by regularly posting things they’d expect based on what they can see on your blog. Do what you have to do to stay motivated and keep that goal in your mind. 

How To Motivate Yourself To Write

Healthy Forms of Motivation

How To Have A Productive Mindset

Why “Burnout” Is Okay - The Creative Cycle

“Does What I’m Writing Matter?”

Taking Writing Seriously For The First Time

Finding Time To Write

Take advice with a grain of salt. A lot of this is luck and algorithms. Do what you can and remember that your speed of growth often has little to do with the quality of your content. The only thing I can guarantee is that if you stop posting and stop producing content, you’ll stop growing. Every like, every reblog, and every follow affects your blog more than you know. 

Tips & Advice for Aspiring Authors, Writers, and Poets

How To Write An Article People Will Read

On Getting Started As A Writer

Tips on Getting Higher Engagement

For Writers Who Want To Become Popular

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Masterlist

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Shoutout to my $15+ patron, Douglas S.!

The sound of Cutting HoneyComb - Satisfying

PRO TIP: instead of thinking “i should be healthier/more organized/etc,” change your phrasing to “i’d like to become healthier” or “i’d like to learn to be more organized.” stop paralyzing urself with guilt for what you aren’t & start focusing on what you can be