December 3rd??? What The Fuck. What’s Next? December 4th? A 5th Of December???? Give Me A Fucking Break.

Yeonjun: Gentle reminder not to eat too much candy before bed!

Kai: no

Yeonjun: This was a gentle reminder, yet your words of defiance bring me ungodly amounts of rage.

Taehyun: word*

Yeonjun: I want nothing more than to uppercut you two directly to Heaven’s front door.

I may not feel good, but I look good.

-Hyunjin, Probably

soobin: yeonjun hyung told me that instead of being sad, i should go get it, girl. so i am going to go get it.

hyuka: get what?

soobin: not sure, ill get everything, just in case

Adrien: Why do people say I have "daddy issues". He's the a**hole that is neglectful. If anything He has Parenting problems

nct as things that i’ve heard in high school

Taeyong: “Why do I always have to shake your salad? Don’t you have hands? Shake that veggie bonanza yourself.”

Jisung: “Yeah, I might be a freshman, but I have a bigger dick than you so shut the fuck up.”

Jaehyun: “These shoulders looking like a motherfucking tabletop, hell yea.”

Lucas: “I was so sexually frustrated in class that I basically humped the chair while the teacher was giving a lecture.”

Yuta: “Wait, the answer was a number?! I fucking wrote Alabama!!”

Winwin: “This milk tastes like cum.”

Someone asks, “How do you know?”

“Because I was sucking your man’s dick last night.”

Kun: “This some crusty ass lasagna.”

Mark: “Yo waddup Mrs._____, I hope your weekend was yeetingly yeet! Cause I’m feeling #blessed.”

Jaemin: “If I was a girl, I would have massive big dick energy. But lucky for me, I’m a guy with an actual big dick.”

Chenle: “You know what? I’m sick of you guys making fun of my laugh. If I want to be a fucking hyena, let me be a fucking hyena.”

Jeno: “They charged me ten dollars, for THIS SHITTY CROISSANT.”

Ten: “No homo or anything, but I’d suck that guy’s dick for free.”

Doyoung: “If that teacher sticks her stanky ass in front of my face one more time, I will kill a bitch.”

Taeil: “For the senior prank, I’m thinking of sticking condoms all over doorknobs. Could you imagine? Hey, Mike, sorry bro, but I can’t help with your pickle jar cause my hands lubey as fuck.”

Haechan: “You know, I walked in front of the mirror today and thought, damn. Why am I still not on America’s Next Top Model?”

Jungwoo: “Today, I went for the furry sub vibe.”

Renjun: “ I said. Fuck. Your. Chicken. STRIPS!”

Johnny: “Of course she’s attractive. You would fuck anything with two legs.”

This man is a legend

Executioner: last meal?

Jisung: I want to eat the electric chair.

Executioner:

Executioner, through walkie talkie: can he do that?

Yeji: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now.

Yuna: There’s no Wi-Fi in prison.

Yeji: [nods] Thank you.

(photos by Bill Watterson and an octopus)

Seonghwa: PUT THE DISHES IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER!

Mingi: WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!