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honestly the discourse on this site is so bad that I have a new hot take: if you use tumblr at all fuck you

I hate it when people say that people choose to be trans, or say that being trans is a choice

This week my dysphoria got so bad that I was considering death, I hated my body so much in that moment that I considered ruining my own prospects for a better life. If being trans was a choice, I don't think I'd choose to be trans, because of the dysphoria. Because of that suffering. Yes I've become part of a community and I've gotten closer with some good friends. Yes I've had happy moments. This does not negate the fact that I hate my body so much that I will start HRT and I'll spend money to start to make this body mine, make this body one that I feel I can be actually proud of.

If being trans was a choice then people in the world wouldn't have moments when their dysphoria is so bad that reaching for rope or metal feels like a better alternative to life

If being trans was a choice then there wouldn't be so much controversy about laws for trans people, it would be a simple choice like a tattoo or a piercing

If being trans was a choice then I would be happier, happier with my body, happier with my existence.

I hate all that say "being trans is a choice" because it shows how negligent they are to the lives of trans people.

I would like to clarify that not every trans person experiences dysphoria, no, and they are just as valid as trans people who do.

I dislike the people who are negligent of the pain that some trans people experience, negligent of the struggles trans people face so often in society

No, not everyone is trans-phobic, but not everyone understands. The ones who are so trans-phobic that they yell and scream in the streets or hold up signs or petition laws are so loud and it makes me feel like so few people actually care about or understand trans people.

Okay, so in Spearmaster's campaign I've finally reached Looks To The Moon. I'm so happy to finally be able to see Big Sis Moon at almost complete functionality! After hearing her screams due to the ¿power going down? I'm now on the quest to talk to Five Pebbles, and then kill five pebbles

Day 4!

Happy Thoughts!

EDIT: I SHOULD SAY THAT I'M OKAY PPFPFFFT

Hello dears ! I am asking you to support my campaign to help me to reach my goal. I am now in bad need to your support to help me stay alive and safe. Gaza is a very dangerous place either on the level of livelihood or on the level of souls. I need your monetary support to ensble me to get the basic needs for my family till Rafah crossing point reopens to move my family to safety and peace.Pleasd help a family be alive through your small donations or througn your shares to others.Thank you so much for your stand beside people in need .

I am so dreadfully sorry that I can't directly donate, the most I can do is spread this message so others can see it. Please stay safe and hopefully you make it out alive.

the suffering never ends

This is abuser propaganda.

"You're dependent on me, so regardless of how I treat you, you're not allowed to hate me."

Decent people don't trap people in cycles like this. Decent people treat others with kindness so people wouldn't have any reason to hate them.

half baked morning rant

I do want to make it clear that the reason I talk about HRT and its biological effects so much is not because HRT or medicalization defines your gender.

Its because, for me personally, the interface of my biology education and my transition was mostly centered around figuring out what sex hormones do. I learned about basic biology principles like DNA organization, gene regulation, cell biology, and physiology in high school and undergrad. Taking that understanding and extending it to the mechanisms that hormones use to change gene regulation, and by extension, the rest of your body broadly, was something I did as my understanding became more complete in later undergrad and grad school. It was the key to me starting my own transition.

Why?

Because it was the first time I realized that the "basic biology" arguments of transphobes were complete and utter bullshit. From that point, it was a cascade. As in, wait, if dynamic changes in gene expression aren't considered "biological" to them, then why am I believing anything they say about anything else? When they talk about gametes, and try to include infertile cis people in their definitions of biological sex by talking about what gamete you're "intended" to make, what do they even mean? Why does my current gene expression not define that "intent"? And wait, back up, why is the brain suddenly not considered part of our biology? Why are neurological differences suddenly not "biological"? Why can we say someone's thinking patterns aren't "biological"?

Backing up even further, why does any of this matter more than psychological gender, or sociological gender? If the way we navigate society is gendered, that affects a lot of our lives, and we're just throwing that away?

Basically, being educated about how deep the biological changes of HRT really go was the first domino to fall when I worked through my internalized transphobia.

This is one of many reasons why I hate, hate HATE the concession that uninformed allies and even many trans people themselves give: "well NO ONE is saying that you can change your biological sex, sex and gender are completely unrelated, sex is binary and gender isn't!!!!!"

Well. I am saying that you can change your "biological" sex, I am saying that biological sex isn't binary, and I am saying that misunderstanding of those points has set back transgender advocacy. It makes medical decisions surrounding us less informed, it poisons conversations about how we interact with society, and it makes trans people feel like their gender and sex are less "real" than cis people's.

Not to mention the horrific way it discards intersex people from the conversation entirely.

Recently, I've seen this point enter the mainstream a little, by using intersex people and variation of sex in other species as a "counterargument" to "binary biological sex" thinking. It still doesn't sit right with me. One, because it uses intersex people as a prop for trans advocacy while not actually addressing the needs of either group. And two, because it completely disregards that your current biology and physiology is not 100% predestined from birth, and using people who were "born this way" as a prop does absolutely nothing to increase people's acceptance of trans people who change their biology later in life.

Ugh. This got away from me but yeah. That's my sipping coffee ramble for this morning. If anyone wants to add comment or correct me on discourse here, please do. Especially if you're intersex- this is all the observations of a perisex trans woman.