The-average-fandom - Ebony Darkness 🤪

M'kay, idk 'bout y'all, but just-

Netflix's Merlin, right?

The way episode one is described, like, I just-

'Merlin, a young country boy, arrives in the bustling, colourful city of Camelot and witnESSES AN EXECUTUON'?????

Like holy shit they're not wrong, but I'm just fucking cackling oml this is the funniest fucking shit I've seen in a while, like what-

*Ham says something rude to any other person*

Washington: *triggered* exCUSE ME!!

someone is breaking into your house. You grab an ancient axe you’ve just bought at an auction and brain the burglar. All of the sudden all life-skills and knowledge of all that have been felled by that axe come flooding into your consciousness.

I couldn't imagine he would just roll over and surrender. Oh, you need to kill me for your prophecy thingie? Okay, sure! Stab me right here!

This line brought back VERY SAD memories all the way from the Percy Jackson series.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Crack

Cedric: What did you want to tell me, Harry?

Harry: Have my babies

Cedric: ...

Harry: I mean, the first task is dragons

---

McGonagall: Potter, who is your partner for the Yule Ball?

Ron: *kicks down the door while in a stunning blue dress and four-inch heels*

Ron: It's me, bitches.

---

Ron: My dad sent you this to help with the second task

Ron: *opens up box to reveal a bunch of rubber duckies*

---

Harry: Can you give me advice on how to talk to girls?

Sirius: *stares at Harry blankly while the Mii theme plays*

---

*Quidditch world cup*

Arthur: Hey, where's Percy?

Harry: I'll go check

*five minutes later*

Harry, traumatized: He's fucking my old Quidditch captain

---

Draco: *sees Harry and Ron dancing at the Yule Ball*

Draco: MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS

*later*

Draco, writing a letter: Dear Father, I have never been so heart broken or betrayed

I saw a post a while ago that joked about how fanfic writers love to give characters non-specific paperwork when they need the characters to be bored or tired from a long day. They speculated it’s because a lot of fanfic writers are either very young, or typically not very familiar with the jobs they’re writing about. And now that I’m back into reading merlin fanfiction I’m obsessed with how the equivalence of this for Arthur is shit to do with wheat and grain. Merlin wants to know where Arthur is? Oh he’s probably in a boring council meeting about wheat yields. Why has Arthur had a long day? Well he was spending all day surveying the grain storage for the upcoming winter. Arthur’s been arguing with other nobles? Probably because they all want more of the grain grown on their own land. This man is micro managing every single stalk grown in the kingdom of camelot no wonder he never noticed merlin’s magic

no the POINT is NOT that rio was the first person to ever show agatha love blah blah soft girlfriends battling the trauma of abuse NO

the POINT is that THE PERSONIFICATION OF DEATH saw a human being so DEVOTED to the act of living that they COULD NOT comprehend dying and fell in LOVE with her and that HUMAN BEING saw this entity that NO ONE is meant to survive and and fell in LOVE with her

the POINT is that they EXIST in PERFECT tandem and in COMPLETE contradiction to each other. the POINT, the IRONY, is that they give each other exactly what they need, but must take from each other the only thing they want.

oh my goddddd the music, the theme, the INTRO-

I’m crying I’ve missed this shit so much it’s so gooooooood ;-;

Fuck romance except whatever the gay theater kid and Corbin Bleu had going on

Agatha All Along + text posts pt 8/?