Ah Man Getting Bitched At By Lance Cuz We're So Harmfully Selfless But Feel So Toxicity Selfish.

Ah man getting bitched at by Lance cuz we're so harmfully selfless but feel so toxicity Selfish.

Let us explain.

It's a recurring pattern. Anyone wants something (say a movie or show) we watch that, hint we wanna watch something new or we get in the habit of seeing reels of a show/movie and our brain goes "yes watch that" but we all still win in that stupid "No, THEY want to watch [said other show]"

Happened today with music too. Think lance took control of Peter Parker to make Stark listen to HIS playlist even though we had one or teo more STAR KID musicals his son wanted to hear...

We don't know how to get out of this stupid loop. We feel selfish when we have a bad mental day/sick day/pain day or Tony has a *horrible* narcoleptic day (trippy how that effects the body honestly. Like WTF) see cuz we could be doing so much right?

Us and BM have made a sticker chart and reach enough you can get something you want... We... Want Moriah Elizabeth stuff but... It... Feels too expensive... And yeah ik BM will see this, tell us to get it, we're going to feel like always cuz why not just tell them or something... The problem is we have a hard time telling anyone what... WE want... We're not... Well... We feel like we're not... For US you know?

It's like Lance is the only one physically upset about it...

I'm not going to lie we saw our grandma is selling dolls (she makes the clothes by hand... Like... BEAUTIFUL clothes...... Like the ones below)

Silly... We physically are the only grandkid who actually cares and ADORES them... She stops giving them for Christmas at 18.. (body is 21 now) like we physically cried when we turned 18 cuz we knew it was the last doll... We don't talk to them, or our dad, or mom, or her mom (all in all we don't REALLY talk to our family, idk why we just don't) so we feel selfish for wanting one for that reason but... We love these dolls... Have them on display when we're not moving place to place... Like... Tall big glass containers!!! Really cherish them!!! And it threw out fucking vibe off... Wanted Tony's music to try and cheer up but we went "Nah. Peter is listening to the musical" for an hour...

See what I mean by harmfully selfless??? Watch what we want when people are asleep, press home when they wake up so they can watch what they want. Think we have a Barry Allen, HR (The Flash), Lucifer and someone else but we don't watch those damn shows cuz who tf would wanna watch those??? Ngl Shawn was nervous to watch his source... (Turns out Psych is uh... More loveable than I thought... Considering I'm a dumbass -🍍)

It's... Irritating...

We feel like assholes for being fucking human... Ngl we were hoping Tony Stark would be selfish enough but turns out we were dead fucking wrong...

We've kind of lost ourselves too... You know? We're used to certain foods now we don't even remember what we like (and we're adding this here because it ties in to that ↑ -Lance) I know frozen burritos and pot pies but... Those... Aren't... Favorites here lmao.

We forgot shows we like even with damn alters OF those shows. Movies? Uh... I think Pixels? Wonka? Iron Man? Right... Uh... Idk.

And yeah we know this is related to trauma and whatnot or whatever but fuck can we just... Idk... Idfk...

Anyone else get this way or are we just pathetic?