Happy Death Day To My Pookie Bear Meow Meow

this reminds me of the time someone on tiktok said fanfiction websites are like drug dealers: if you want the good shit, you go to a good dealer; bad quality drugs on wattpad, mid quality drugs on ff.net and excellent, well-sourced drugs from ao3. as someone who doesn't even do drugs this still makes total sense

Reading fanfiction on ao3 is like being addicted to drugs.

The first time you read one you experience this immense amount of euphoria and satisfaction (because of a well-done story or your ship having a solid dynamic etc.)

The high lasts for quite some time until you want way more of that special feeling so you read more and more until eventually nothing can satisfy you anymore.

But instead of trying to quit, we embrace the madness and let it takes us wherever it wants.

And I think that's beautiful.

if I had a dollar for every time the bbc made a show about an iconic character from british canon except he's young with black hair, pale skin and prominent cheekbones, and he has an intense relationship with his best friend and is generally gay coded, aside from weird sexual tension with a powerful woman who also has black hair, pale skin and a strong jawline, and is otherwise a lesbian who is fucking her maid

I'd have two dollars, which isn't a lot but we don't enough about the fact that it happened twice at the same time

And thats on PERIODT. Muscle Merlin just hits diff; i can practically hear half of merlin tumblr moaning just at the sight of him

Arthur starts out as an insufferable spoiled brat who falls madly in love with his mouthy servant. So madly in love that he risks his life time and again to save Merlin. Thankfully, Merlin’s an oblivious idiot. Unfortunately, the people around him are not. So while Merlin doesn’t notice that Arthur’s so in love with him he can’t function, everyone else is like “he’s so in love with you, he’d die for you” and Merlin’s like “nah, he’d do that for anyone. He’s just like that.”

And now, sweating bullets, Arthur has to start risking his life for peasants and anyone in danger like he’s truly noble, or Merlin’s gonna figure out that he’s in love with him.

Literally, Arthur experienced so much character growth to keep himself in that closet when he could of just said, “Nope, it’s you Merlin. I don’t give a flying fuck about anyone else.”

I don't think people appreciate how much stuff you can do with Merlin fandom.

It's heaven for fic writers. Let me explain.

Do you need your characters behaving strangely and doing something they would've never done?

Potions/Curses/Evil sorcerers/etc.

Do you need somehow add a new character?

Visiting nobles.

Do you need to explain some wild shit?

MAGIC.

Sometimes i deeply regret that i cannot write well, but gods there's just sm variety with Merlin. I don't think you can meet that everywhere

I was watching the episode where Merlin disguised himself as the “dolma” and I was feeling frustrated at Arthur’s lack of concern to Merlin’s whereabouts. It goes against everything we’ve ever seen of him. He never forgets Merlin and he’s never calm when Merlin is in potential danger.

So I was thinking to myself, why? Why would Arthur forget Merlin? And I remembered that, despite being an old woman sorceress, he immediately felt like he knew her somehow. She is everything that Merlin is not (to his knowledge), and yet he somehow knows her. Just like he did with “Dragoon”.

“You seem familiar, sorceress” - Arthur

And as the “dolma” points out he’s forgetting something, he jokes with her the exact way he does with Merlin. “Ah, I thought things had gone unusually smoothly” + other lines. Why would he do that?

Because a part of Arthur knows Merlin is standing right in front of him. He’s unable to recognize that he’s forgetting Merlin, because he can feel that he’s standing right there. He bickers with her because that’s Merlin. She has to explicitly point out that it’s Merlin he’s forgetting, in order for his brain to override his feelings.

Arthur always knew the true Merlin. Even if neither of them knew it.

“I would recognize you in total darkness, were you mute and I deaf. I would recognize you in another lifetime entirely, in different bodies, different times. And I would love you in all of this, until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion.” - Recognition

so when straight people ask me why I say I’m “queer” or “gay” instead of sharing my actual identity as a panromantic demisexual non-binary sapphic queer I just tell them “ok look, when you’re talking to someone who isn’t local and they ask you where you’re from and you either say the name of the largest city nearby or ‘town name, suburb of large nearby city’ so they can get some geographical context of where you’re located right, bc they’re probably not going to know the name of the little town you actually live in.”

but if you’re talking to a local you can say the name of your actual town bc they have a greater chance of knowing where/what that is.

ok well when I’m talking to a straight person I start with queer bc chances are they aren’t as familiar with the context of all the little towns in that big queer city and need gps (gay positioning system) to find me.

if I’m talking to another queer person and I say I live in a suburb of gay city in a town called panromantic on the demisexual side of the tracks which is in the county of queer and I live off the intersection of non-binary and sapphic, they’d probably be able to find me with little to no problems, make sense?

a plot: buddie divorce

b plot: KILL YOURSELF .

”Gay ass” I say as i willingly read a gay fanfiction.