The Aeneid Is So Annoying To Read Because It's Going Along Going Along It's A Masterpiece It's A Work

The fact I’ve shown Will Wood songs to some people and they just don’t take to it is mad, you all don’t get the appeal of a song where some batshit deranged guy is singing the most abstract lyrics it’d take a team of English literature students to fully analyse in the most passionate way possible while the tempo picks up and slows down and the genre shifts halfway through for shits and giggles and random keyboard smashes and wilhelm screams are just thrown in the background and another guy is destroying his drum set and then somewhere along the way you start hearing a kazoo

pretentious moment incoming but why is everyone's idea of fashion so fucking boring these days. why the fuck did my manager just ask me "what's with the scarf". "what's with the scarf" fuck man do I need a reason to wear a faggy little scarf now? you could just say "nice scarf man". what's with your attitude

If Hitchhiker's Guide was WOKE!!!!!!!

The Hitchhiker's GAY to the GAYlaxy

Arthur DEInt

aFORDable Housing Prefect

THEYphod SHEblebrox

Trillian is exactly the same but she actually has a role in the story and keeps her book-accurate appearance

Marvin the Paranoid ANDROGYNE

Stan Rogers songs come in a few, occasionally overlapping flavors:

this boat is a heavy-handed metaphor for my personal struggles (Mary Ellen Carter, Last Watch, Barrett’s Privateers, etc)

I am being ground beneath the heel of Capital (Fisherman’s Wharf, Tiny Fish for Japan, The Idiot, most of them really)

Weeeheehee we’re shitfaced and having a great time! I recommend it!! (The Wreck of the Athens Queen, Giant, etc)

my romance is pure and true and yours is mere lust, you barbarian (You Can’t Stay Here, Lock-Keeper, Half of a Heart, etc)

an ode to something incredibly Canadian (Bluenose, MacDonnell on the Heights, Northwest Passage, etc)

they need to come up with more words like necrosis and miasma and mausoleum and cadaver and morose and decrepit and stuff like that just so metal bands can expand their vocabulary

no offense to me or anything but what the fuck am i actually doing

sacré bleu...somebody âs deepthreauxted ze eiffel toweur

Julius Caesar: When I said I wanted to be repeatedly penetrated by at least two dozen men wearing nothing but togas this WASN'T what I meant

reasons to kill caesar (in order of importance):

he slept with my mother

hes a dictator

Cassius doesn't like him.

thinking about the moment brutus' silky sharp knife penetrated ceasar's tender skin for the first time... the tears in the corners of his eyes glistening in the ravenous sunlight, his plump peachy lips in awe as brutus places a soft, chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth before driving the knife into his body again