If Hitchhiker's Guide Was WOKE!!!!!!!

When I say "this character is my favourite" what I am really saying is "this character is easiest to project homosexuality and autism on to"

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter is the only acceptable portrayal of white Jesus

how funny would it be if socrates never said any of that and plato was just lying

one must imagine tantalus hungry

The reason it is warmer today is because Henry Kissinger is burning in hell

hey I'm sorry I stopped in the middle of that sentence my brain decided to flush its cache and I totally forgot what this conversation was

I fear nobody will ever be able to match the dead stare standard criston has managed to set this season. gwayne accused him of fucking his sister and he said alicent is the Virgin Mary i keep trying to kill myself and she won’t let me. btw i hope we both die. and then he looked at him like this

todays straight character of the day is: nobody

the thing about time loop jokes is, sure, they may be repetitive, but they never get old

no offense to me or anything but what the fuck am i actually doing