The Reason It Is Warmer Today Is Because Henry Kissinger Is Burning In Hell

not ignoring you not replying to you but a secret third thing

DNI if you:

Got it from Agnes

Got it from Jim

Got it from Louise (we all agree)

Got it from Harry

Got it from Marie

Got it from me (everybody knows!)

Got it from Daphne

Got it from Joan (who picked it up in County Cork, a-kissing the Blarney Stone)

Gave it to Sheila

Got it from Francois and Jacques (a-ha! Lucky Pierre)

Got it from Edith (who gets it every spring)

Got it from your Daddy (who just gives you everything)

Gave it to Daniel (whose spaniel has it now)

Your dentist even got it (and we're still wondering how?)

Got it from Agnes

Or maybe it was sue?

Or Millie

Or Billie

Or Gillie

Or Willy (IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO!)

Got it at the club

Or at the pub

Or in the loo

And fair warning, before you follow, if you will be my friend, then I might (mind you, I said "might"!) give it to you!

Ah, so when Circe wants to send them to the underworld, she is amazing and helpful, but when I, POSEIDON-

i say "godspeed, soldier" way too much for someone who puts their faith in neither god nor the military

*booking an mri* what if I accidentally have a pacemaker. what if I got secret bone surgery and forgot about the pins

finally. it's over. tom lehrer can live in peace.

If fish had legs they'd partake in the ides of march I think

I wish I could be a girl, and that way you’d wish I could be your

what's your name? (rhetorical) (because i will forget immediately)

Discworld is so delightful because you get lines like "When banks fail, it is seldom bankers who starve" except it's spoken by a 7 foot tall sentient clay statue named Pump 19 and directed to a man whose name is Moist von Lipwig