Hello,

Somewhere, out there, you are someone's favorite writer/artist.

You've inspired someone!

Keep going, love! ❤️

Still thinking about that crazy interaction with my friends the other day. So, four of us went out for breakfast to celebrate the end of the semester. Conversations went, talked about things, etc. And then then mic turns to me and I mentioned I love writing and how I started writing what society would be considered "insensible". My two friends sitting across from me didn't catch what I said (bc I wasn't about to out myself in a restaurant by saying 'yeah, I write gay shit') but my friend sitting next to me suddenly gasped and said, "you like BL?"

Startled by this, we shared a look before I nodded to them. And without a second to pause, they yell out, "Send them to me; I love BL!"

Im pretty sure the couple in the booth in front and behind us heard what they said. I, for one, was surprised bc they are really shy and introverted (I'm telling you, it's the shy ones).

Mind you, my friends from across the table had no idea what they just yelled out (I later told them what the term meant), but we were all caught up in laughter from their sudden outburst.

Anyway, I'm engaged now.

alright google calm down we all know this to be true

fanfic writers are so fucking awesome man. they write novel length fics that are sometimes even better than some published bestselling books written by professional writers. like fanfic writers are professional writers to me and they gift us their masterpieces for free. they give us something we can look forward to after a long day. something from which we can seek comfort when life is hard. something that can be our own little getaway. in a world of capitalism, despite everything, they give us all of these for free. like holy fuck. shout out to every fanfic writer. I wish all fanfic writers a very ‘I love you with all my heart and soul. I thank you from the bottom of my heart’

There's days I'll stare at my screen like a confused dog in complete wonder on why I consider myself a writer. Other days, I'm laughing at how creative my sentences are and how well the scene played out in this chapter, and I can't wait to share the update with my readers. Your stories, no matter the conditions, are valid. You got this!! :)

please please please please reblog if you’re a writer and have at some point felt like your writing is getting worse. I need to know if I’m the only one who’s struggling with these thoughts

That would be so cool!

reblog if you’re okay with people writing fanfics of your fanfics and/or fanfics inspired by your fanfics

Therapeutic Rants

Ranting here because a) real therapy is expensive b) we need to stop treating friends as therapists, and c) if I keep this internalized, it might just eat me alive.

Being alone again.

Well, officially, it is over. After two long years of friendship, one year of a relationship, I've lost them. Dare to say that it was a peaceful ending as I continue to sharpen the blades they left and patch the oozing wounds. Dare to say it was hell for even trying to be with them.

I have a savior's complex; I know it well. You see, when I was a child, my parents weren't emotionally stable. I had to learn how to regulate grown adults behaviors to maintain the peace in my house. So, in relationships, I suppose I do/did the same. Keeping the peace only delayed, not prevented, the war.

At first, with my phone now silent, I thought I could ignore the feeling. It's so weird to constantly check for notifications and then remind yourself, "it's over". I suppose this is the right thing to do. To turn off my phone for a couple weeks and take a walk outside. But that would only delay and mask the feelings.

Why did I end that relationship?

Well, I could no longer simply ignore myself in it. When we first met, we connected by stories. They saw a talent that I had hidden away and encouraged me to write. I was finishing a brief story for my English class and decided to send them the draft for them to read. And that sparked our relationship.

They would always ask if I had a new idea ready or if I ever finished my thousands of 'work in process' pieces. Every time I had a story done, I would send it and they would read it almost instantly. Over the time, they told me how much I've improved and I slowly gained myself back. I felt real once again.

We would analyze our favorite parts and character scenes. It was so much fun to connect with someone without weird glances and judgmental comments like in previous relationships. I could be weird with someone!

Fun until one moment.

I was scrolling, as one does, when I came across a drawing of a old ship and accidently fell in love with their story again. So much so, that I had to write my thoughts on them and draft an idea. I was so excited to share and tell the other about all the details I've researched: their connection, they people believed they were together in game, why they made sense, and then filled them to prepare them with my idea, a brief 1,000 word or so story.

So, armed with fan arts and my story, I sent them first some fan arts for the characters and then the draft, excited to see what they would analyze. I already had my favorite parts outlined on my printed out version. I made a little board for the pictures, too.

And then, there was a sudden change in tune. The "shoe dropping" moment.

At first, they claimed that they were busy or had other projects to get done. They have mediocre responses to the fan arts (like saying, "oh, cool" vs "omgg, they are so adorable! Who are they?) They never claimed those excuses before but hey! Different days, different times. It's fine.

But then their true nature reveal itself.

The sudden issue was the fact that the story had two male characters in a relationship. None of my previous ideas/stories had a relationship like that. I was simply expanding on my horizons and trying new things. Mind you, there was no details in the story unlike the stories I could find on A03 (yall are crazy). Heck, I don't even think they kissed! They cuddled or something. But with the fan arts, that was enough for them to pause and stare at me.

But because of their family issues and upbringing, they couldn't bring themselves to read it. At first, I didn't see it as homophobic, I saw it as preferences. Everyone has them! But over time, I realized it wasn't a preference.

I deleted that idea out of "respect" for the other and only sent them stories I knew that they would like, the ones that we've analyzed and talked about before. But there was a change, too, every time I sent a story. It was like they were looking for a gay scene after I reassured them that I didn't include it. Granted, I also began writing those relationships on the side because I just like two characters falling in love with each other. Forgive me.

But that only boiled and boiled until one day that I couldn't take it anymore. No longer did they read my stories with the same joy that they once did. Rejection is a feeling I've felt since a kid. No one likes the weird. It got to a point that I felt I was hiding myself in order to keep a relationship going. Sacrifices are made together not separate.

After first talking about it to them, they assured me that they would try again. They were sorry and explained their family situation which, again, is fine. But we live in a world in which gay people exist. So, simply ignoring or treating them differently doesn't make sense.

So, I sent them one of my other stories to try again out of good faith. And I waited. And waited. Reminded them. And waited.

Until we broke down again. They said that I would hate them if they revealed something. I told them that I wouldn't. They, at first, said they tried. But only reading five pages of a thirty page story in one hour? Really? I know I have my moments, but over an entire month, you couldn't have read more? The opening scenes were just the world they lived it! lmao. I tried to understand why they would say one thing and do the other. I really liked our conversations, but I couldn't ignore that anymore.

So, I called it off.

Still, it hurts because you half way expected them to prove you wrong and half way expected them to prove you right. Regardless, you can't change someone's mind.

Hopefully someone can relate to this. This is fun, you should try this, too.

Best.

Reblog if you’re grateful for your commenters <3