Finally, Some Good Fucking Food

Valorant HCs lets go

I found a whole collection of these in my notes app so heres more of my ramblings

Sage is really good at sudoku

Jett and Phoenix somehow convinced Omen that he’s an octopus

Viper had to reassure Omen that he is in fact not an octopus

Raze is a really good cook but lacks any patience for it 

Cypher leaves little presents in front of the agents rooms on their birthdays

No one told Cypher their birthday he just knows

Viper has built up immunity to several poisons

When Gekko fell asleep after playing games Brim made sure to throw a blanket over him

Gekko also once called Brim a GOAT and just laughed when Brim got confused

Chamber gets mocked a lot for being French (rightly so) and even Sage finds it too funny to make anyone stop

Jett has used her powers to catch birds before

Yoru is trans (my reasoning: i am trans nd i think he’s neat)

Sage taught herself a lot about medicine and now everyone in the protocol assumes she’s been to medical school

Skye and Deadlock go birdwatching together during their hikes

Christmas really isn’t a big deal in the protocol but they’ll have a slightly nicer meal to somewhat celebrate

Most/all of the agents have special things they’ll do for their own cultures holidays and celebrations

GG ez Sova

Rating Val ships simply because i can

I stared at my laptop for like 10 mins figuring out how i was gonna order this

Glalaxsea (Astra x Harbor)

A solid 9/10 overall

10/10 ship name

Very simple and very sweet

Nothing too interesting

forget the moon and the sun its moon and sea no i will not be told otherwise

(the moon and the sea fell in love but were separated and now the sea tries to reach for the moon and thats why we have waves is the story behind it btw)

Reyge (Reyna x Sage)

An easy 10/10

7/10 ship name

its good but theres better ya know

The fluff and angst potential is so good

Bitemark (Viper x Chamber)

7/10 ship

oh my god 10/10 ship name

the amount of angst that drips from this ship is delicious

viper falling hard only to find out abt everett lind nd what chambers done

fuck buddies but viper falls in love only to get her heart broken

i like them sad

Fadeshock (Fade x Neon)

10/10 ship imo

ship name is mid im so sorry 2/10

gf's who are afraid of their radiance learning control and acceptance from each other

yes pls

i think they take naps together

Yorunix (Yoru x Pheonix)

a healthy 9/10 ship

yorunix is 1/10 riftfire is 6/10 firewalker (which is what i call them) 10/10

Yoru is so in love with Phoenix and he is very mad about it

Phoenix is oblivious

I just think they love each other

Cyberowl (Sova/Cypher)

7/10 imo but its also one of my favs

8/10 ship name since i think it's pretty dope

*quietly chants in your ear* rivals to lovers rivals to lover rivals to-

Cypher had a wife but still has negative rizz and Sova is a useless homosexual

you know im right

Yokye (Yoru x Skye)

pls don't hurt me for this but 2/10

pretty good ship name tho 8/10

yeahhhhhhhhhhhh i just don't really like it at all as a ship

i can see why it's just....

MOVING SWIFTLY ON

Nanobomb (Raze x Killjoy)

10/10 and i will not be taking critism

10/10 ship name

adhd x autism

both of them aggressively pined for ages

useless lesbians fr

nothin more to say rlly

Viper x Reyna (I have no idea what their ship name is i'm sorry)

8/10 overall

i dont know what they're ship name is but i'm assuming it's good

THE ANGST MMMMMMMMMMM

get outa here with your enemies to lovers they're enemies and lovers

A lot of hatefucking im not gonna lie to you

Valorant ships and their songs

I experienced a thought the other day whilst listening to music. So heres my opinions on what songs best suit various valorant ships. This is like half vibes based and half lyric based

Yorunix/firewalker (Yoru x Phoenix)

Allies or enemies by the crane wives.

I know they're more rivals than full on enemies HOWEVER consider the dynamic

Nanobomb (Raze x Killjoy)

Sonne by Rammstein

I didn't just choose this song cuz haha kj german but instead i feel that the vibe of the song fits Raze well if you catch my drift and the line 'sie ist der hellste Stern von allen' (she is the brightest star of all) fits with kj being depicted as being the smartest in a room

Bitemark (Viper x Chamber)

Love story by Indila

ONCE AGAIN not just cus chambers french but i feel a lot of lines in the song just scream chamber for example "I will be rich and I'll offer you all my gold and if you don't care I'll be waiting for you in the harbour If you ignore me I will offer you the last gasp of life"

Reyge (Reyna x Sage)

Work song by Hozier

this is them and idc what anyone says "She never asked me once about the wrong I did" is so them I cannot even

Reyna x Viper

Bad idea by girl in red

Do I even need to explain this one?

Fadeshock (Fade x Neon)

Cigarettes out the window by Tv girl

You cant tell me that Fade doesn't seem like a smoker (also i saw an edit of them to this song and it is all i think about)

Fire storm (Phoenix x Jett)

I don't want to set the world on fire by The Ink Spots

Both of them have caused harm with their powers despite not wanting to they dont want to 'set the world on fire' they just want to be normal people (i am sosososo normal abt them)

Sage x Omen

(Dont fear) the reaper by Blue oyster cult

Omen is so used to everyone being afraid of him and Sage refuses to let him believe he's a monster

Chat im in college rn I don’t think I can do much more of this

breakfast

Guys I crave the rot

VALO ANGST TIME HUHVOIHJVHPUH

Wrote most of these on my notes app whilst being tossed round a boat omw home

Bitemark (viper x chamber):

Viper being closed off and wary of Chamber only for him to gradually work his way into her heart.

The moment Viper starts to truly trust Chamber she finds out the things he's done and the friends he's taken from her.

Enemies to lover??? no. Enemies and lovers.

Most of my headcannons about them stem from my belief that Viper has issues w/ depression and her mental health (this can be seen in a lot of her voicelines)

Reyge (Reyna x Sage):

wrong time and wrong place. (also immovable object x unstoppable force)

Reyna's long since accepted that her life isn't her own anymore, any humanity she once had slowly being chipped away by the things she's had to do just to survive ("I have lied, beaten, killed to survive. I will kill again and again if it means one more day.").

Hates the part of herself that wants Sage, she feels so guilty about it viewing anything she does for herself as inherently selfish.

Sage wants to help Reyna but she doesn't know how to get through to her.

Cyberowl (Cypher x Sova):

Would sacrifice the world for someone they love x Would sacrifice the one they love for the world

Sova would do whatever it takes to save his earth even if that meant having to let someone he loves be taken from him

Cypher refuses to go through the pain he went through after loosing his family before

Rivals to lovers

Sova see's the worst parts of himself in Cypher (they are incredibly similar imo even though Sova would rather die then admit that)

Sage x Omen:

"it's rotten work" x "not if it's you"

Sage who's willing to do anything to help take away some of Omens pain and Omen who wouldn't wish his suffering onto anyone

Fadeshock (Fade x Neon):

If you show me your hands covered in thorns I will show you my palms ready to bleed.

two people with incredibly destructive abilities trying to find any semblance of control despite knowing that's an impossible ask (control. the gift so many yearn to give you. the one thing you will never have. - neons dossier)

Firewalker (Yoru x Phoenix):

(A lot of my thoughts about them are fully just from how I interpret the characters from the minimal info we're given as well as cultural backgrounds)

SO SO much internalised homophobia, mostly from Yoru but a little bit from Phoenix too.

With Yoru it's more so a cultural thing with Japan being a very conservative country and despite skinship being more accepted thats more so between two women rather then two men.

(Also w/ my headcannon of Yoru being trans being with another man even if it's what makes him happy makes him feel like 'less of a man')

He loves Phoenix but feels wrong about it, like it's something wrong that he's doing.

Phoenix doesn't have as much of a problem with internalised homophobia (mans went to drama school and has two mums come on now) but where he was raised there was a generally toxically masculine environment (fuckin peckham)

fuck being a normal member of society I am going to start rot posting