I Have Never Once Wished For Tolkien To Still Be Alive As Much As I Do In This Moment

You filled my field with flowers,

You filled my heart with gold,

You filled my head with memories,

So I'll love you 'till we're old.

I'll water your own flowers,

I'll pour my heart into yours,

I'll give you all my memories,

And love you 'till we're gone.

Playing Pretend. 2023.

I just wanted to do a piece to break the burnout, so have a smol baby clone running in the rain.

The world moves around my body, sensations ghosts on my empty form. I hear the sound of life, of people, anchored in the here and now. Their world in colour, vibrant touch, souls as light as feathers. Webs of feeling stretch between, emotion, taste, (felt, not unseen).

My world I see in black and white, my anchor cut, all light unfelt. Inside my mind a world of dreams, of light and colour, (touch, all seen). My comfort, it bleeds thin. Too many layers, broken webs, foggy eyes with my too-full head. This world it feels too much for me, heavy soul, all in 2D. Inside my mind I find recluse, running free in vibrant stories. I watch it all as I move through, webs twist around, trap me apart. This life it is not meant for me. People ground. And I cut free.

my dad was outside feeding the slugs cucumber slices earlier

Am I the good boy? Really??

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

Scars

My body is littered with Scars that I made. Pinks and bright whites, ridges and dips, a minefield of lines hide what's underneath. A broken soul and an empty heart, the remnants of a shattered boy, smashed by the ones who were meant to protect. Surviving the only way I know how, with Scars on my skin and my shattered soul.

This is about my struggle with sh, how my scars are something I'm scared of people seeing, but are still somehow things I look at and feel a strange love for. How I feel so numb and tired all the time, and how when I do feel it is dulled a distant, and I don't know what it is. How I was broken by people who's love was meant to be unconditional, yet they caused me pain in form of screamed words, sarcastic sneered comments, ridicule and physical hurt. How the only way they left me to cope was through taking control of who hurt me by hating and hurting myself. I'm going to have to learn how to heal these shards and learn to feel again when I get out, but for now I must only survive. Albeit slightly healthier than I did or sometimes still do, as I have had to teach myself how to help and work with my brain. To people out there who feel the same, I hear you. You will not always live in silent fear. I promise. ✌️♥️🌱

TARDIS dragons