Okay So Like There Are Vampires But One Of The Side Effects Of Becoming A Vampire Is That You Can’t

Okay so like there are vampires but one of the side effects of becoming a vampire is that you can’t explicitly tell people you’re a vampire.

Like, if they already know you’re a vampire, that’s cool and you can talk about it with them whenever.  And if they don’t know but are straight up like “hey are you a vampire?” you can be like “yes I am” and then you can talk to them about being a vampire because they already know now.

But the point is you can’t tell people.

So you’ve got this vampire who really wants to tell their friends and they’re dropping all these hints and being as obvious as they possibly can be but their friends just think they over-exaggerate everything.

“Hey, when did you learn to lock pick?”  “Sometime around the middle ages, I think.”  “Okay, fine, I won’t pry then.”

“Cool shirt!  When did you get it?” “Oh, about fifty years ago or so.”  “Dude you weren’t even alive.  It’s a hand-me-down, then?”

“Hey check out this cool Renaissance painting.” *points to a person lying dramatically on the ground* “That’s me.” “Haha, that totally would be you.  I’m the one getting his head chopped off.”  “No, you don’t get it that’s actually me.”  “God, I know.  You’re so dramatic.”

“How long has it been since you’ve been to Europe?” “A couple centuries at least.”

“What’s this red drink in your fridge?” “Blood.”  “Is it that new diet drink?”  “No, it’s blood.”  “No, seriously.  I’m thinking about trying this diet.  Does it work?”  *sighs*  “No.”

“How come you don’t have any mirrors in your house?”  “I don’t have a reflection.”  “Cool.  It’s really admirable that you’re not letting society’s expectations dictate your life.”

“Hey, it’s really sunny out today.  Wanna go for a walk?”  “No.  I will literally burn up and die.”  “Fine, stay inside and watch Netflix.  That’s cool too.”

“I heard these coffin beds are really supposed to help you sleep.  I’ve never seen one this cool though.  Where’d you get it?”  “I was buried in it.”  “Fine.  Don’t tell me.”

“Dude, why are you always so cold?”  “I’m dead.”  “No, really.  I think you might be anemic.  Are you getting enough iron?”

More Posts from Theoneandonlybastard and Others

5 years ago

When do we mention the clapping though?

5 years ago

if this isn’t the most siblings thing ever

5 years ago

Some Journalling/Scrapbooking Tips!!

• Never fret about how much stationary you have. You dont need a vast collection of washi tapes, pens and stickers to create a brilliant journal. Your collection will build slowly. Besides, I find that the best of spreads are made from stray scraps and hand drawn pictures etc.

• Also, (and this applies to general artists too) expensive supplies do not automatically make you a better artist. You may want to explore and find your journalling feet first, or at least understand that expensive supplies won't instantly make your spreads incredible, and that the best works can be made from anything, recycled, handmade, cheap, expensive... it's the artist that makes it what it is.

• Hold on to things. Receipts, labels, tickets. Keep these things in a folder too so you always have a treasure trove of bits and bobs.

• In the same vein, keep things like wrapping paper and magazine cutouts. When you don't have access to a printer but feel the inspiration for a spread, you can always resort to these. Plus, they look lovely as borders and backgrounds for pages.

• Dont be afraid to stick things down and just see where it takes you. You dont always have to have an elaborate plan for each and every spread. As I say, the greatest spreads are often the ones thrown together quickly and experimentally.

• Dont be scared to use your supplies!!!! I had this problem before. Your craft supplies are made to be used, so don't be stingy with them. Rip things up, tape things down, go crazy! It's what artists do.

• If you aren't happy with certain pages in your journal, don't rip them out!! It shows creative progress, good spreads and not so good spreads. A journal that was perfect the whole way through would become monotonous, no? In other words, a slow, fast, up and down, loop-de-looping rollercoaster is far more thrilling than a single-speed straight-tracked rollercoaster, isn't it?

• Don't be afraid of changing styles. Again, this book is your own and can be a fun example of how you've grown as an artist. So if you begin with a minimalist, planner-type journal and then decide you prefer aesthetic, scrapbooking styles, no worries!! It's your journal, no one else's.

• Write whatever you want! Your idols, interests, friends and family, life, anything you wish!! This journal is yours and yours alone. Use it like a diary, use it as an open letter to your idols, use it to chronicle your art skills, or just have fun making nice-looking pages! Why not? As long as your having fun, there are no rules or boundaries to journalling, just as there are no rules or boundaries to creating art. Just have fun!!

5 years ago

YKNOW I JUST UPLOADED THE WIP OF THIS BUT I ALSO JUST FINISHED THE FULL VERSION OF THAT FLORPUS EDIT/AMV SO HERE LMAO

5 years ago

things to do with your cryptid SO

look at the stars

take blurry photographs

listen to records

go into the words

help them find a body snack

cuddle them to ease the hollowness

find shiny things to share

watch an old film

5 years ago

Stanley Barber Harry Styles

🤝

looking beautiful in baby blue suits

Stanley Barber Harry Styles
Stanley Barber Harry Styles
5 years ago

Evan: people are… very enthusiastic about the upcoming holidays…

Jared: exaggeratedly so

Evan: hey, where is Connor?

~Somewhere in the mall~

Worker:

Evan: People Are… Very Enthusiastic About The Upcoming Holidays…

Connor:

Evan: People Are… Very Enthusiastic About The Upcoming Holidays…
5 years ago

Sarah Paulson this whole season of American Horror Story:

Sarah Paulson This Whole Season Of American Horror Story:
5 years ago

Musical Artist Deitisonas:

Andrew Hozier Byrne: God of Dreams and the Forest. King of the Druids.

Dodie Clark: Goddess of Monsters, Chaotic Good, Confetti, and Healing.

Florence Welch: Goddess of Dance, Women and Witchcraft. Queen of the Faeries.

Regina Spektor: Goddess of Madness, Color, and Strong Unexplainable Feelings.

David Bowie: Lord of the Stars and Planets. Traveler of the Universe. A shapeshifter.

He was human once, and never felt as if he truly belonged in the body of mankind. He was granted godliness after death. He’s everywhere in space at once, to this day, still traveling the endless universe forever more.

Whenever we see a comet trailing by, its him giving us a hello.

He keeps the planets in line, as well as the stars and meteors and nebulas, making sure nothing hurts his favorite planet. The planet that he owes so much to, despite the fact that it was never home.

Freddie Mercury: God of Love and Euphoria, Savior and Brother of the Oppressed. Charm-speaking abilities, possessing the most beautiful voice in all the cosmos.

Beyoncé: Goddess of the Sun.

Lana Del Rey: Goddess of Time and Forever.

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vent :(

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