I Should Make Some Tea

My Dearest L...

Today, was a easy day so far. i got to go to the store today. it was not what i ecxpected, it was pretty boring....

MY DEAREST L…

Get this last night around 5:45am I came home from a little meeting with L and we had some rough head on my part... it was really eye opening but it turns out it's all fun and games till someone almost dies, yes that's right I legit almost died this morning when I came home. so what happened is that I irritated my throat and when I went to eat a donut it was too dry and didn't go down but then I thought that I couldn't swallow so I stressed and my throat LEGIT fully closed up on me and I couldn't swallow at all!!! it was so scary I thought I was going to die... I rushed to the ER on my sleeping pill yeah I had that in my system they thought I had a bad trip on weed. can we just talk about how stupid doctors kinda are, like come on do you really think that I'd be here right now if I thought that it was only a bad trip? LIKE HELLO!!!! I can't fucking swallow bitch, she looked at me and said can you breathe? and I was like yeah I can then she followed up with okay like I take your vitals so she check my oxygen and my heart rate and my blood pressure, then came back and said that I'm fine I just must have swallowed something down the wrong hole and that's why it feels like something it stuck there, then she opened the door and sent me on my way... grate job now what am I supposed to do if I go home and I can't swallow again? then she said to call 911. well, that way my day. how was yours?

MY DEAREST L…

Ever just want to escape to I different time in the world? well I do, I wish I could go back to the 1800s when the light was nothing but an open candle flame and beds were made of the finest satin in the world, a time when love was actually love and guy's were begging to be held in the arms of anyone that would love them when even the moon longed for company.

Do you think the sun is as lonely as the moon? or do you think they are okay with being apart, I mean, I know the moon has her stars and the sun has his clouds but sometimes you just need more than that.

Ever sit in your room and smell something bad so you get up and look around your room for the smell and can't find it but it's following you around and you're just left standing there and are like "WTF IS THAT SMELL??!?!?!" then you realize that it's you that smells like shit.....

My Dearest L...

I honestly have felt for years now like I’m not moving forward in my life I feel stuck in a pit that I can’t get out of, to make it even worse I’ve been wronged by so many people in my life that I feel like my heart doesn’t even know how to feel or be in love again. I mean it’s not like the opportunity hasn’t come up but even when it does I talk to the person for a max of a week or two weeks if there lucky. Then it’s almost as if it just doesn’t mean anything anymore... is it even possible for someone to be so broken that they can’t love anymore????

Car thoughts

Being with someone who wants to learn about your past history, not to punish or hurt you, but to learn how you need to be loved

“How amazing is it to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.”

— Nina LaCour

My Dearest L...

It’s 5 am and I can find a way to fall asleep tonight. I’m supposed to take my sleeping pills, but they don’t seem to be working. How can I depend on these pills to drive me into a slumber now when 12 months about I could sleep on my own how did I get to this point???