Being With Someone Who Wants To Learn About Your Past History, Not To Punish Or Hurt You, But To Learn

MY DEAREST L…

time has stopped in a way that the world is numb to the land that understands the movements of the earth under our feet in the sun-heated grass, the river shines to the blue skies of the sweet smelling due drops of the morning kissed silk.

My Dearest L...

well, I don't really know how this is going to go, I'm going to see the broken girl today maybe later on I haven't seen her since the night I when to her boyfriend's house and almost got covid >-< and the last time I saw her mom was when she throw my parents out of her house bec I was influencing her kid to drink more when in reality she was the one asking me to drink every weekend... now her mom wants to meet up for tea after that shit like really.

My Dearest L…

Sometimes i wonder what i bring to the table, will it be enough for the ones i love. you know i’ve been alone i have truly forgot what love even feels like, it’s just a weird night tonight. why did my ex text me? why have people from my past all been talking to me after a year they have been super quite. i don’t inderstand it...... oh!! 

P.S. Goodnight<3 i’ll type more tomorrow 

Dear, Elisa Lam...

I have watched and read your story over and over again and I am yet to believe that you did this to yourself, there is no way they can make it sound like you have done this to yourself. There were so many people in that hotel that could have done this to you. and the fact that none helped you in the hotel while you were in your bipolar ep. Makes me so angry, what did they say again when they said you were screaming in the lobby, oh yes that’s right! they said, “It’s just another day at the Cecil hotel”...

May you rest in peace now Elisa Lam....🖤⛓️

Eytukan, The Plant.

I've had Eytukan for about 2 or 3 months now and it's been quite a beautiful experience he already had a few leaves when I get him but today I noticed it was time for him to get his first leaf cut off. plants grow too fast for me :( I wish they could stay small and cute but watching them grow up is an amazing experience honestly. he is so healthy and strong he loves his new pot I had to report him bec he wasn't doing so well in the training pot which I found kinda weird but once I got him in this Terracotta pot he just jumped back to life. I have also been misting him every few days and he always looks so perky the next day >.< it's so cute to see, oh and he's not the only plant I own, like 40 plant's but this on is just soo cute i had to blog about him XD

Japanese low-fi just hits different.

My Dearest L...

Today, was a easy day so far. i got to go to the store today. it was not what i ecxpected, it was pretty boring....

My Dearest L...

Have you ever felt as if time wasn’t real? Sometimes I wish I knew why I was put on this earth at this point. Was there ever a real reason why I am here. Bec I would like to know why I have had to go through so much fucking pain in my life. Was there ever a reason for every time I have broken my heart and cried myself to sleep every night for weeks at a time...

MY DEAREST L…

so an update on how I'm doing, my stress is going and leaving I'm tired but scared to sleep... and my swallowing is getting a bit better but not by much. I just want to wake up tomorrow and everything be back to normal, ugh I hate having stuff wrong with me. I can't even eat hard food bec I keep associating it with not being able to swallow last night, and my stress is just getting the best of me bec I'm all alone right now. I hate being alone, well... not being alone. I just hate being alone when something is wrong with me in case something happens and none is here for me. I have to take my sleeping pill I hope I can swallow it...

MY DEAREST L…

It's 5am and my throat is so tight right now and I have work today and I have to go in or I'm getting fired I guess this is my life hmmm.....yay funn...