My Dearest L…

My Dearest L...

I FUCKING HATE YOU for bringing him over that night and letting him talk to me, you knew I was vulnerable and I wasn't in the right state of mind and you still let him slip into my feelings, my thoughts, my heart... he dug and dug down into my heart and laid his bed and made himself at home, he walked around talking to her and you knew for so damn FUCKING long and told me to damn late you knew how much I put into him.. I did things for him I would of never of did for ANYONE in my life. but he was dif and you saw it in my eye's and you still let him break me in the end. you let him slip away tbh we all you, me and J......

My Dearest L...

Am I ever going to truly find my way in this world? or am I just another robot going with the flow of life, when am I actually going to start living? will my life ever truly get better? I'm going to share a dream of mine with you. I dream of the day that I'll live in a mini hut in the forest away from all people and the city, I just want to live off-grid with nothing but you and my little hut and are cute little morning fires to warm are tea and are coffee and the river to wash our clothes than to sit together and watch the sunset together.

MY DEAREST L…

Get this last night around 5:45am I came home from a little meeting with L and we had some rough head on my part... it was really eye opening but it turns out it's all fun and games till someone almost dies, yes that's right I legit almost died this morning when I came home. so what happened is that I irritated my throat and when I went to eat a donut it was too dry and didn't go down but then I thought that I couldn't swallow so I stressed and my throat LEGIT fully closed up on me and I couldn't swallow at all!!! it was so scary I thought I was going to die... I rushed to the ER on my sleeping pill yeah I had that in my system they thought I had a bad trip on weed. can we just talk about how stupid doctors kinda are, like come on do you really think that I'd be here right now if I thought that it was only a bad trip? LIKE HELLO!!!! I can't fucking swallow bitch, she looked at me and said can you breathe? and I was like yeah I can then she followed up with okay like I take your vitals so she check my oxygen and my heart rate and my blood pressure, then came back and said that I'm fine I just must have swallowed something down the wrong hole and that's why it feels like something it stuck there, then she opened the door and sent me on my way... grate job now what am I supposed to do if I go home and I can't swallow again? then she said to call 911. well, that way my day. how was yours?

My Dearest L…

I started my day with my mom waking me up like every other day with her whimpering "are up getting up today" and like always I said, "yes just give me a sec" but today I feel a bit better than yesterday. I started this new movie on Netflix not long ago, it's like 2h long. I'll let you guys know how it is, haha. I say that like people actually read this blog..... anyways uhh the movie is called Space Sweepers it's this Korean sci-fi movie. it looks pretty good and I love a good sci-fi movie, I'm really into the whole cyberpunk style tbh I love it so much the city's in those kinds of movies are fucking AMAZING tbh I wish I could live there honestly!!! but I don't know if the world will ever get to that when I'm living but till then I guess I'll just have to wait and see...

It will be time for bed when the cigarette hits the floor

TheSadBoisClub

Being with someone who wants to learn about your past history, not to punish or hurt you, but to learn how you need to be loved

My Dearest L...

Have you ever been on the phone with someone and talked to them about something that interests you then they LEGIT fall asleep on you mid-conversation, it's almost 4am right now and I get he's tired but like I'M ABOUT TO SLAP A BITCH!!!