MY DEAREST L…

My Dearest L...

The flames of a candle can only burn so bright till it dies out, there was once this dream I had where I was in a car and I saw my sister across a street looking at me and I was going to back the car into a driveway so I could pull into my friend's driveway, but as I was backing up behind me turned into a pond and the car slowly started to sink into the water I looked at me sister begging her to help me but she didn't move she just stood there looking at me as I was screaming fr her help sinking into this pond with the car. I managed to open my eyes but I could not see anything but the dream still in my line of vision, I heard everything going on around me but I could not move. when I finally managed to push myself out of this slumber I rolled over to my left and there was this big dark figure that stood from my floor to my ceiling it didn't seem like it wanted to hurt me but once I noticed it I turned I rolled to the right really fast and then rolled to the left to see if it was still there and it was gone...

My Dearest L...

Man, do I have stuff to catch you up on!! There has been so much happening lately.

I'll be posting ALOT soon so make sure you keep up 🖤

MY DEAREST L…

Hello, it's been another long time since I talked to you hasn't it. I'm sorry. I've been in my head a lot and I've been trying to get stuff under control in my life, I don't know what to do anymore. I've been so down lately... I've been trying I really have. but it's hard to fight monsters you can't see you know. I just want to be able to wake up and not have to stress about anything. I wish time would stop. oh! I have big news... in two months I have been with him for 2 years. yes I know it's coming up to that date but it's okay I think I can make it and push through it. he's the second one that's actually stuck around this long and not left or done anything bad to me... I'm not sure how I feel about that really. well I have to go jump back into Gilmore girls. see you in the next one.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm here.

MY DEAREST L…

so an update on how I'm doing, my stress is going and leaving I'm tired but scared to sleep... and my swallowing is getting a bit better but not by much. I just want to wake up tomorrow and everything be back to normal, ugh I hate having stuff wrong with me. I can't even eat hard food bec I keep associating it with not being able to swallow last night, and my stress is just getting the best of me bec I'm all alone right now. I hate being alone, well... not being alone. I just hate being alone when something is wrong with me in case something happens and none is here for me. I have to take my sleeping pill I hope I can swallow it...

The rain, it falls as if it's lifeless. So beautiful, so soft, so loved...

言の葉の庭 / The Garden Of Words  dir. Makoto Shinkai

My Dearest L...

well, I don't really know how this is going to go, I'm going to see the broken girl today maybe later on I haven't seen her since the night I when to her boyfriend's house and almost got covid >-< and the last time I saw her mom was when she throw my parents out of her house bec I was influencing her kid to drink more when in reality she was the one asking me to drink every weekend... now her mom wants to meet up for tea after that shit like really.

“I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.”

— Terry Pratchett

Broken Girl... Coming soon!

Man, do I have a story to tell you guys! I'll prob be posting it in parts bec it's still ongoing but I'm writing out the beginning. I keep telling myself I should have blogged about it when it first started happening but my I have to work with my sister to get it all from the beginning bec I have a really bad memory that's why most of my blog post is really how I'm feeling in that moment and they're very raw. anyways I'll be blogging about this girl very soon, should be some time starting around next week. Maybe Monday? I'm not sure, yet...