Latest Posts by thetruelesbianwhisperer - Page 2

on wikipedia straight up "learning it". and by "learning it" i mean, lets just say.. information

Ballpoint penis

scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

Handy phrasing

if you hired a galapagos finch as a linecook it would perfectly evolve a beak to optimally smoke cigarettes behind the dumpsters

some one just put a cup over me and they’re looking for a paper to slide under me LOL gonna break out from this cup while they’re distracted

FEDERAL DICK TRIED TO PULL ME OVER FOUR A LITTLE BOOZING + CRUISING BUT I REPLACED EVERY WINDOW IN MINE HUMLE SHITBOX WITH STAINÈD GLASS & WHEN THE SUNLIGHT HIT HE WEPT IN REVERENT AWE

Do you jerk off or not really?

Oh I jerk it fiercely

If god didn’t want me sucking dicks, then why is my throat so dick-shaped?

unfortunately, i, too, suffer from the male urge to impregnate twinks

“kill them with kindness” WRONG! MR. ELECTRIC SEND HIM TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE AND HAVE HIM EXPELLED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you know that nerdy boys have glasses so that they can fog up from huffing while they suck your dick? You can Google it, it’s true.

Sodom was such an iconic town that anal sex was named after it. Gomorrah wishes

no babe, the microplastics in your nut don't bother me 🫶🏻

oh tree branch, we're really in it now

some m/f ships are like. that woman is a lesbian. however that man is a woman so it all works out

milf (myself i’d like to forgive) and dilf (despair i’d like to forget)

These are so fun to make

Being a weird little girl as a kid provides two options to you: becoming transgender or becoming a weird adult woman. Both of which are things the world needs more of

reblog for something t4t to happen to you this summer.

God the boys you sent to be used like fleshlights are being forced to have jobs and pay bills

As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.