That Feeling When You See Everyone Around You Get Treated With Love And Attention, And All That’s Left

am i the abusive one?

am i the reason so many people leave?

i am arent i?

i’m the problem

i always have been the problem

i’ll always be the problem

did you hold me knowing you were going to let me go?

something i realized over the years is that despite wanting to kill myself, i don't actually wanna die. far from it actually. i want to live. i want to experience all the things i always wanted to do. i want to see the world. i want to look in the mirror one day and say "im happy i stayed". i want to get better. i want to live a life free from the shackles this mental illness has kept me in. but sometimes that darkness in my brain just overtakes that hope for a better future and all i'm left with is the thought that it will never get better.

— i want to live, but not like this.

And I wondered what it was like to be chosen. I was never chosen. I was a maybe, a probably, sometimes even a definitely but never the one, never the chosen one.

Unknown

I need him but he doesn't even want me.

please im so tired im just so fucking tired please just stop can everything stop im so tired im begging can it all stop

i know deep down i really am never going to make it, and this will end by my own hands

my scars are fading.

i need to make more