please im so tired im just so fucking tired please just stop can everything stop im so tired im begging can it all stop
And I wondered what it was like to be chosen. I was never chosen. I was a maybe, a probably, sometimes even a definitely but never the one, never the chosen one.
Unknown
BPD culture is distractions. this is a distraction. tumblr is a distraction. music is a distraction. tv is a distraction. friends are a distraction. you're a distraction. everything is a distraction from my thoughts and the constant pain. but there's triggers in so many of the distractions anyway, and the pain never goes away.
– 👁
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sorry I ghosted you I wanted to see if you cared about me and would miss me if I was gone
The reason I love the found family trope is probably because I only have like two friends (not exaggerating) and I crave a closeness that I just don’t have in my life
I have no one who knows me intimately and loves me unconditionally and that fact is slowly crushing me to death
Sometimes I feel like I go above and beyond for people to make up for the fact that I’ll never be good enough and in hopes that it’ll distract them enough so they don’t notice and leave.
Being near me is not a privilege, it’s a punishment
i can’t do it anymore. i just want to give up on everything. i have nothing left to give.
unfortunately for the both of us, i really like you
It doesn't matter how far I've come, how hard I tried or how much I gave.
At the end of the day I'm just a sad little girl curled up on her bathroom floor wondering why she can't ever be someone's first choice.
Wondering why it never got better like they all said it would.
TW: lots of dark and uncomfy topics but if you're here that's probably what you're looking for ... I hope that someday we can both find a way to be ok.... I don't care what that way is.... whatever finally brings peace 20 years old
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