Bite Me Scratch Me Bruise Me. Leave Your Mark. Make Me Remember Everything, Every Move We Made.

I

I'm not human. I'm animal. Less in your world than mine.

I am the living remnant of myself.

Coming and Going

we’re alone. all by our selves in this unfair world no one cares. what we do or where we go  so why should we? anger burning it comes and numbing it goes. its nothing new to us. driving down these one way roads no one told us where to go and i think this map we have is too old. all we can do now is hope. all alone. our faces  blend into the crowd I guess no one hears us when we speak aloud. so why should we? love burning it comes and numbing it goes its nothing new to us. driving down these one way roads it doesnt matter where we go and I think this plan we had was old. all we do now is hope

broken windows of missed opportunity timelessly hung in a frame of regret.

I cant stand seeing the old, young, weak, loved, sad, strong, ill, infected, handicapped, unwanted, un noticed, lonely, crushed, disfigured, the religious, meaningless, free, the willing or unwilling captive. the too thin, too thick, too rich too poor, too pretty, too ugly, the just right, the in between, the conscious, the dormant, the used and the users. goldy locks and all the bears. the pigs their wolf, the lines, loops and circles. and then I look in the mirror. I wonder where the hell do I belong? between the lines, out of the details, behind the scenes. the dark side of the moon. somewhere in limbo. just waiting for a green light. waiting for my time. but somethings wrong. I must not have heard the whistle. Was I ready? I was set. and there it goes. Turned around to find lights out, curtain drawn and doors closed.

Someplace unfamiliar

with every step. 

I move further from this earth. 

This being ive become. 

clouds once looming over head,  

now just a haze someplace below. 

That place. 

One I never knew and will never know. 

Could never know. 

With every wish Ive held my breath. 

let down. 

Im running out, t 

urning blue as that very color fades from it. 

Those calming words you spoke to me. 

That calming voice, 

bringing sanity. 

as there once was… 

again nothing will be. 

Prolonging pain. 

Inducing change. 

a short glimpse at clarity. 

The night provides the day. 

fire, the beauty of the flame. 

And the ashes, 

the perfect place, 

a clean slate. 

a clean escape.

The water is drawn and Im all alone.

I look at myself as I take off my clothes.

I look pretty decent.

Its the real me that nobody knows.

I know the secrets that nobody can.

nearly flawless canvas on a broken man.

Im thinking of you as Im lowering in.

Warm relaxing water just under my chin.

the last time you made me smile.

The last time you made me laugh.

This is the last time Ill take a bath.

The sleep is coming. Im going to drown.

Im dreaming of you on the way down.

enough heart ache for two.

I feel like this life is so fleeting.

and I worry I wont find a meaning.

before it ends.

The time just keeps slipping by.

Im aging... before my eyes.

I sit and talk with those whom I call friends.

but it never ends, they dont know me.

I dont have one.

but Im waiting.

my friend.

for the day you love me again...

I know it wont come but Ill hold my breath.

Ive been practicing. Ive gotten good at it.

its all just a game that they're playing.

I just wait my turn. keep on waiting.

untill it ends. and its over.

no... second player.

waiting till it ends.

and then maybe...

Ill see you again.

The black

just about ready for take off. I can feel it in my breath.

The way it moves through me. shivers up my spine.

it comes on like love. getting me off like lust.

soon it will leave me. Like you in that beauty.

 its the only place… I can go… that you cannot…  follow