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Cheat - Blog Posts
reality loop error
connecting all the dots now.
a circle has no end.
i make this lone circuit.
do you understand?
i look back with sorrow.
the things that should have been..
i walk forth so blindly.
my eyes are wide open.
the past will always be here..
i will never change.
the future holds yet nothing.
nothing stays the same.
memory now failing.
the time has come you see.
everything a reflection.
never skipping beat.
no way to start over.
mistakes ill soon repeat.
reality is fading.
become dark fantasy.
im the virus in this program.
Error in the registry.
who is in control here?
monkey or machine?
a clean escape.
The water is drawn and Im all alone.
I look at myself as I take off my clothes.
I look pretty decent.
Its the real me that nobody knows.
I know the secrets that nobody can.
nearly flawless canvas on a broken man.
Im thinking of you as Im lowering in.
Warm relaxing water just under my chin.
the last time you made me smile.
The last time you made me laugh.
This is the last time Ill take a bath.
The sleep is coming. Im going to drown.
Im dreaming of you on the way down.
END
breathe that breath. Breath it for me. hold it in. let it out. the one I always wanted to take, but never could find it. One that would never come again. leaving a void in my chest. the exhaling sigh of relief. The stillness. The numbness. The crushing inner peace that comes with it. Realization. and with it the knowing that its all over. That it happened. And that itll never happen again. the meaning of what it was all worth. The feeling of all the worlds weight baring down on your chest. That moment of inner peace, now to only be remembered. and to be remembered as fleeting. to long for. To make you wish the chaos had never ended and your desire for that breath never realized. The reminder that life is short. For some suffrage is life. to suffer is to be holy. The only way one can feel the true joy of having, and the loss of losing. and in the end. Its all I have and have ever had. The end was written before the beginning. Realized too late. As I live breathing. There will be no salvation. Just a yearning for what was lost, or never was at all.
Free Story of Adultery and Revenge by Cindy Johnson
Task III – Spinning the wheel of denial for her amusement. This feels like a confirmation to me.
Girls in competition push each other to the top.
I can love you better than she can.
Cheating, Sizequeen Conversations.
I overheard the best conversation today. I was sitting in a McDonalds, and two girls behind me started talking loudly enough for anyone sitting at the surrounding tables to hear. There was no attempt to keep this conversation quiet. I’ll try to recount this as best as possible. … Jessica: Thank you so much for letting me use your cellphone. I need this lift from my husband; I’m not walking home in the cold. Thank you so much! Nikki: Heh. Of course! It’s so cold out. I wouldn’t walk home either. Do you live far?
Jessica: Not really. He’ll be here in about ten minutes, if he doesn’t take his time. Hah hah. Are you married?
Nikki: Yeah. My husband’s a sweetie. We’ve been married about two years.
Jessica: How old is he?
Nikki: He’s twenty six.
Jessica: And you’re…?
Nikki: I’m twenty four.
Jessica: Yeah? Hah. My husband’s thirty. We were married four years ago, when I turned eighteen.
Nikki: Heh heh. Oh yeah? Got married early?
Jessica: Yup. He’s a keeper. Had to tie that one down. He provides everything for me- I live comfortable. Hah hah.
Nikki: Heh heh. So why are you downtown?
Jessica: Oh, hah, well … I was seeing a friend.
Nikki: A girlfriend?
Jessica: Hah hah. No no. Umm. Well, I needed some release. So, a guy- one of my guy friends. I needed a big pick me up … or a fill me up. Hah Hah Hah.
*Nikki smiled*
Nikki: Ah! A boyfriend?
Jessica: More like a fuckboy. I was seriously craving some cock. I needed to be split open! Hah hah.
Nikki: Oh my god, tell me about it! I love Gary, but if I don’t get something bigger than nine inches inside of me at least twice a week, I’d die. Heh heh heh.
Jessica: Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband!
Nikki: Oh! Totally! Same!
Jessica: But sometimes you just need some giant cock!
Nikki: Heh heh. Same. Does your husband know?
Jessica: Oh god, no! I need him for support, but he’d flip if he ever found out how much cock I get in a week! I’d never tell him. Besides, Part of the fun is doing this behind his back. Sometimes with strangers. Sometimes with his friends …
*Nikki interrupts*
Nikki: But they need to be hung! If they aren’t over nine inches …
Jessica: Totally! It’s not worth it! Does, um, is it Gary? Does Gary know?
Nikki: Gary has no idea. And I’m the same way. I felt bad the first time I cheated. I mean, I was drunk, and horny as fuck, but after, I started to feel bad … until I got horny again! Heh heh heh!
Jessica: Hah hah hah!
Nikki: I spent, like, half a day moping. I took a bath to cheer up. Started playing with my clit in the bath, got horny, and went back out! I’ve since come to understand that there’s nothing to be ashamed of in taking as much big cock as you can get. And now, it’s like I said- I need it at least twice a week.
Jessica: Hah hah hah. Totally. It’s been, like, four days for me, so I was seriously nicking. I left Richie at home, and cabbed over. I texted Scott; told him I was coming over. I wasn’t ten feet in the door before he was already inside me. I was soaking wet. I mean, my pussy was drenched.
Nikki: That’s hot!
Jessica: And Scott is just over ten inches, and thick as a coke can. He turned me around, pulled down my lulu’s and slid his cock right in. And he’s got the largest balls! My pussy’s bare, and I love how they smack against my clit when he’s fucking me. I absolutely need my pussy bald and smooth. See?
*Jessica spreads her legs a little and pulls the waist of her yoga pants forward to show Nikki*
Nikki: Heh heh! It’s so pretty! I’m the same way! Here! Hold on, I’ll show you.
*Nikki pulled out her cellphone and started swiping through some pics. She handed the phone to Jessica, which caused Jessica to smile*
Jessica: Wow. Is that Gary?
Nikki: No. That’s … *there was a slight pause.* I don’t think I got his name. Heh heh heh. I was at a party with my friend last weekend while Gary was working. Some people were dancing, and this guy started grinding on me. Oh my god, Jessica! His cock was pressed up against my ass, and he was hung! His cock was hanging down, so I could kind of hold it between my ass.
Jessica: And?
Nikki: Well, before the song ended, I had my hand down his pants and I was leading him, by the cock, up to one of the bedrooms. It did not take long for me to decide that I was fucking this guy tonight. The first two rooms were full of people, so when we got to the third room, and there was already a couple there fucking, I thought “fuck it.” I got on my knees and took that thing down my throat, right down to his balls. I could feel it swell in my mouth. I love sucking cock.
*Jessica had been swiping through photos during the story*
Jessica: Hah hah hah! Oh my god, same!
Nikki: Anyway. We ended up fucking for about two hours. He came in me three times. The first load was so big! I didn’t have a condom, but I wasn’t going to give up that chance to fuck that big cock. Then, as I was warming him up for a fourth go, I got a text from Gary– it said he was waiting outside in the car to pick me up. Sort of lost track of time.
Jessica: Argh! Don’t the hubbies always show up at the wrong time. And I know what you mean! You get some proper-sized cock inside me, and I go into a trance too. Lose all track of time. Hah hah.
Nikki: Heh. Anyway, you can see my pussy in a lot of these.
*Nikki took the phone from Jessica and quickly flipped through some photos*
Nikki: I’m actually quite tight, but you wouldn’t know by the look of that dick pumping me balls-deep. Here! here’s a nice one! It’s after the first creampie. See? Nice, smooth, pussy.
*Nikki shows the phone to Jessica*
Jessica: Oh my! Your pussy’s so cute! And little!
Nikki: Thank you. So, since I haven’t have any big cock since last weekend, I’ll be out for a while tonight- but your hubby should be here soon.
*Jessica looked out the window*
Jessica: Actually, here’s been here for a few minutes. Umm. Just sit right there?
*Jessica left the McDonalds, walked out to a nice car and spoke to the man in the driver’s seat it for a minute. A look of frustration came across his face, and he nodded, rolled up the window, and drove off. Jessica returned to the McDonalds*
Jessica: That was Richie. I told him I just bumped into an old friend, and that we were going to spend some time, and that he was going to pick me up later. I have an idea!
Nikki: Yeah?
*Nikki smiled*
Jessica: You haven’t been properly fucked for a few days, and Scott’s always ready to go. Like I said, he’s hung like a horse, and he can cum so much you’ll lose count. How do you feel about sharing some cock?
Nikki: Really? Always!
Jessica: Yeah! I mean, what are friends for if not to share their fucktoys! Hah! There’s only one catch- Scott insists on going bareback. And he’s got to cum in you at least once!
*A wicked smile crossed Nikki’s face*
Nikki: That’s the catch? I normally demand it!
*Both girls laughed*
Jessica: Here, lemme borrow your phone again.
*Nikki handed over the phone, and Jessica dialed a number*
Jessica: … Hi! Hi, it’s me! Yes, again … Listen, I just bumped into an old friend and … yeah, we go way back. Anyway, listen- I’m going to bring her over for some fun … … yup … yeah … Yes! She can definitely take it all! … No, she’ll be able to keep up … and we can switch up if one of us is tired. Hah … And … No, she wouldn’t bother if you weren’t so big. Hah hah. Yeah. Just like me. Okay. We’ll be right over.
*Jessica hung up the phone*
Jessica: Oh, I’m so happy we met, Nikki. You’re going to get into such a cock-trance in the next ten minutes! Better call Gary and tell him you’re not coming home!
Nikki: Yeah, let me take care of Gary. I’ll make something up.
*Jessica and Nikki both left the McDonalds* … The best part of this whole thing is that the two girls were completely unashamed to publicly carry on this conversation. They admitted that they were cheating sizequeens, and they were quite proud of it. They weren’t broadcasting it, for others to overhear; they were just having a regular conversation, talking about perfectly regular things. Fucking as much giant cock as possible was just the normal, right thing to do.
i bet it is..
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CHEATER ADVICE
So I had recently started seeing an ex girlfriend again back at the beginning of the new year. When we together before it was very serious just a couple years ago but things didn't work out. We kind of stayed in touch until she started seeing someone else and we lost contact. She later messaged me after and told me they broke up. In the beginning we were keeping things VERY casual even discussing seeing other people or fun sex stories. This turned into us fooling around and eventually starting to see eachother a lot more often and acting a lot like we were in a relationship. We did specify that we weren't official but eventually did say neither of us were seeing / looking to see / or had plans or prospects on seeing anyone else. She even told me "you don't have anything to worry about" "I'd let you know and tell ypu if I ever wanted to do anything else with anyone" and "I would never be interested in having more than one partner in or around the same time frame" and things start going really well with us hanging out/seeing eachother. Just a few weeks ago I stumbled into her facebook and found out that she has been intensely Sexting with a friend of hers while talking about wanting to hook up. Not the end of the world but I keep reading and find out just recently they hung out and she blew him, he spanked her, and choked her (all things we like to do and play around with). I'm not so upset about the fact that it happened but that she went out of her way to lie to me and act like nothing was going on. I'm really hurt by the dishonesty and behaviour but I have to admit part of me is really turned on by it. We have discussed before the idea of open relationships or threesomes or bringing someone in but the idea had always included full openness and honesty with eachother. I don't know if I could trust her again or if I should even give her a chance. I did call her out and she apologized and promises it wouldn't happen again but also said she still doesn't want to make anything official at this time because she isn't ready because of her breakup. We are hanging out less often but still trying to keep things together while we decide what to do but I'm at a loss. Does anyone have any advice or help they can give me. (not just looking for the obvious "sissy type" answers or role plays, I'm honestly asking for help. Thanks.
