1/28 Day
1/28 day
on Tuesdays I have an early start to my day as my first class starts at 8:15, im one of the first people to get there however so that I can review any notes from the class before and so that I can answer my emails. my class went by soooo slow today, it ended early though so that's a nice change. normally we end at 9:20. I had time to go and grab a small breakfast, and as much as id like to skip breakfast ive got a busy day ahead of me so I needed some calories this morning to keep my blood sugar up.
the only downside about going to my colleges cafe is that they don't say how many calories are in what they serve :(
anyway, I had a quick FaceTime with my mom while she was a work to talk about my finical aid since that fuckface of a president that we have now decided to freeze all federal aid to colleges. we think that I should be ok for this semester but next year will probably be a struggle. this summer to hopefully save some money im going to be working full time, and even then I won't have enough saved up.
after breakfast I'll be having a meeting with student success to talk about how the start of my semester is going and to chat about possibly starting tutoring. I'm struggling in my history class since all the professor does is talk and doesn't give us anything to study/ take notes on.
after that meeting I don't have class until 2, which gives me time to work on some reading for another class.
More Posts from Threerats-inatrenchcoat and Others
life update
over the past few weeks a lot has happened that I haven't talked about on here. to sum it up there's this man that's been stalking me since November and my college is doing next to nothing about it.
ive been to a fuck ton of meetings about it and I had one today where someone finally took me seriously about how this guy is not a student but instead a guy that's old enough to be my father. he knows where I live and just stands across the Road or paces by the door waiting.
its creepy as fuck and has left me feeling unsafe and like im being watched all the time. im terrified of walking by myself and im jumpy no matter what.
my friends are mostly being people that I can lean on but just today a close friend of mine has told be to not keep them updated and that they don't care. it might be an extreme reaction, but when things like this happen I block their number for a bit to give people space and to take a step back.
I want to continue being active on Tumblr but everything is getting to me and im honestly this close to deleting all of my socials and not talking to anyone on my campus. this on top of my eating disorder is not going well at all. im In a constant state of binging and then purging it all from worry and then I starve for 3 days and then I repeat the fucking cycle all while going to classes and meetings with the head of our campus security. it wasn't until today that I fully told my boyfriend what's been going on because I didn't want to admit that im being stalked as that would make it seem more real.
this on top of the state of the us is making me really debate why im still here. I might have stopped being super suicidal, but the urge to slit my wrists is coming back super strong. ive even started writing in my old journal about it while also drawing out how I have been feeling in it.
everything is getting to be too much for me and I want it all to end immediately. I NEED it to end before I end it all once and for all guys.
I thought I’d be dead by now
little story
wow I love living in a townhouse and when I go to let my sister into the house ( after losing her keys) only to look behind her an see 7+ police cars at the neighbor across from us. This is a every few month experience for our neighborhood.
when we first moved into this house my mom got woken up to a banging on the door and strobe lights, only to open the door and in her words “a very good looking police officer” greeted her to ask about our next door neighbors, he was very understanding about how we don’t know them as we LITERALLY JUST MOVED IN.
my sister got woken up shortly after because they were calling out to the neighbors to get them to all walk outside and do the normal SWAT team shit, because yes my neighbors got SWATTED.
Now you might by asking, ‘but Daphie where were you when this happened?’ Dead asleep that’s where 😂
I slept through a fucking swatting, I have no memory of this happening until I was told about it in the morning.
moral of the story I can sleep through anything if I slept through a SWAT team- I have a few more stories like that in college lol
When you grow up in an abusive home, you don’t become a people pleaser to please people. You become a people pleaser to keep the potential for more abuse away.
“You don’t need to lose weight!”
Says the girl with a flat stomach, thin thighs with a thigh gap, visible collarbones and hips, slim arms, and no face puffiness
I’ve decided to start going on my walks after classes again and omg does it feel good. I did have to take a bit of a break to go charge my phone since it was at 8 percent lol
after walk snack-
made good granola bar 100cal
mamma chia 70 cal
I could have a knife in my back and the first thing I'd do is make sure you're okay
when someone doesn’t wanna tell me what i did wrong and suddenly i’m 8 years old wondering what i did to make my mom mad again
current mood
coloring in my colleges library while trying not to cry 👍
wat
holy shit guys, it feels weird to say this but I’m 18 now. I don’t feel like an 18 year old yet when does it hit lol
Update: of course I post this a week after my birthday, life doesn’t give me time to process on my actual birthday lol
Hiii, I'm Daph, welcome to my blog!She/her, 19yPinterest link: https://pin.it/6pjVXM4tZ
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