Anyone Else Getting The Urge To Give Themselves A New Ear Piercing…. Cuz I Definitely Am Lol

yk what, fuck the Ana lifestyle I don’t wanna panic every time I see my weight go up. I’m healthy at 114 pounds and that’s completely fine, all that weight is muscle mass from sports. I think it’s time for me to go into recovery

overestimating how much you mean to someone really fucks you in the head

‘You should only send hearts to ppl you’re romantically involved with’

WRONG! BOUNDLESS PLATONIC LOVE, WARMTH, AND ENTHUSIASM BE UPON YE!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I’m sorry for all the times my mental health made me a bad friend

Tw

does anyone else ever feel too numb so they purposely trigger themselves to feel something? I know it’s not healthy but it’s one of the only ways that I feel anything right now.

Abuse isn't only physical. Sometimes it is...

Shouting at them until they cry/retaliate.

Humiliating them in front of friends and family.

Refusing to let them see friends and family.

Isolating them from what's outside.

Refusing to let them have control over their own finances / keeping it all for yourself.

Belittling their looks, their personality, their thoughts, etc.

Bullying them in any way.

Purposely pushing boundaries.

Threatening them, either physically, verbally or emotionally.

Controlling what and when they eat.

Locking them in rooms so they can't escape.

Refusing to let them use the toilet/eat/sleep/etc. after or before a certain time.

Gaslighting them into questioning their own reality.

Lying to or manipulating the people around them so they look like the abuser.

Purposely breaking their belongings, especially in front of them.

Ignoring safewords/"stop"/anything that indicates they're not okay with what's happening (in general, not just in the bedroom)

Giving them zero privacy. That means going through their diaries, tracking them, attending their therapy/doctors appointments when they don't want you to.

Setting them up to fail for the sole purpose of getting to punish them.

Obvious favoritism of one child over another/the others.

All of these are things that I have personally been through. They contributed heavily to my eating disorder, my BPD, my anxiety and my depression.

REBLOG if you are ACTIVE this DECEMBER ✨

..and i’m looking for mutuals lol

life update

over the past few weeks a lot has happened that I haven't talked about on here. to sum it up there's this man that's been stalking me since November and my college is doing next to nothing about it.

ive been to a fuck ton of meetings about it and I had one today where someone finally took me seriously about how this guy is not a student but instead a guy that's old enough to be my father. he knows where I live and just stands across the Road or paces by the door waiting.

its creepy as fuck and has left me feeling unsafe and like im being watched all the time. im terrified of walking by myself and im jumpy no matter what.

my friends are mostly being people that I can lean on but just today a close friend of mine has told be to not keep them updated and that they don't care. it might be an extreme reaction, but when things like this happen I block their number for a bit to give people space and to take a step back.

I want to continue being active on Tumblr but everything is getting to me and im honestly this close to deleting all of my socials and not talking to anyone on my campus. this on top of my eating disorder is not going well at all. im In a constant state of binging and then purging it all from worry and then I starve for 3 days and then I repeat the fucking cycle all while going to classes and meetings with the head of our campus security. it wasn't until today that I fully told my boyfriend what's been going on because I didn't want to admit that im being stalked as that would make it seem more real.

this on top of the state of the us is making me really debate why im still here. I might have stopped being super suicidal, but the urge to slit my wrists is coming back super strong. ive even started writing in my old journal about it while also drawing out how I have been feeling in it.

everything is getting to be too much for me and I want it all to end immediately. I NEED it to end before I end it all once and for all guys.

so i started to think about some stuff. never doing that again.

I got kinda bored while waiting for my meeting time, so enjoy the avatar I made of myself. depending on how much I like it, I might make it my profile!