MATUTULOG NA AKO TAPOS PAPAIYAKIN MO AKO. WAG GANITO BES. MAMAMAGA MATA KO. ABA. SUSME. MAGSUSUOT AKO

Hello, it isn’t me.

I don’t know when I started to feel the coldness of my bed. But these sheets beat me when it comes to the realization of the absence of your warmth. It took me days to understand that you won’t march back in with all the stars in your eyes. I never tried to open the lights after the day you stormed out, for I don’t know if I can stand to not see your shadows moving in to hug me from behind. Or to sneak downstairs at dawn just to let me wake up to the smell of pancakes or macaroons. I left the kitchen sink on, just so I’m not the only one who continuously fill one’s self with wasted tears. The house is a mess just as I am. Everything is flooded with our memories, and I feel like I was blinded by the smell of your breath every time you mention my name.

I guess, I just really miss you. But I won’t admit it yet.

(eusie.)

This will be one hell of a fucking ride

a.k.a. This was supposed to be hidden / under my bed / along with stories / I refuse to read before I sleep

Standing in front of a mirror / I see myself eyeing every inch of me / the black lace covering / almost nothing / and the music on my back / is glorious

Then there’s a knock / below my feet / as the wind settles behind the curtains of my bedroom window

It takes a second then a minute / blood flowing in a rush / heartbeat flooding my eardrums / as I parade down the stairs

He stands there like a kitten / his shadow touching the back of the door

He’s breathing fire as he enters inside / then our breaths waltz / in the same air-y music / then we feel the same desperate burn on our veins / the same shyness flush on our cheeks

A beat / a whisper / then pants begin travelling in the hope of more / of more bare skin / of more blazing touches / of more sight of swollen lips

I lead him to my room / catching his fingers once inside / placing them on my shoulder blades / I lead him / to have himself kiss me wet

(eusie.)

i still think we're soulmates. but maybe that's just the hopeless romantic in me

i think the reason why we we're still with each other is that we're afraid of being alone again. and we know that finding love again would take time

A little bit messy but it’s true

a.k.a. A Simple ‘How I Met You’

The floor made a sound to my feet’s kisses as I hurried through the quiet hallway.

                      There were whispers breaking out from these thin walls,                       and I felt my ears bleeding.

One second after reaching the corner, a pair of ocean blue eyes drowned me.

                      There was a series of a beat of drums,                       and then it felt as if it was raining.

Maybe his breathing hitched, and if it was my imagination that his eyes suddenly were burning like an ember,

                      I would never know.

No words were exchanged between us. But I felt like dancing to the music radiating from his sun-kissed skin.

                      That’s when I realized I was in trouble.

(eusie.)

P.J.Q.

“It’s true, you’re beautiful.”

— don’t... please...

(eusie.)

ask me if i'm fine. i promise i'll say i'm okay as long as i hear your voice

Here’s to someone

a.k.a. I forgot about you for a while

Play. You were a light with a little bit of blue, and I was almost death. But your eyes smiled at my frown. The wind whispered how you seem to feel, but I will never know if she was lying. I walked away. You didn’t hold me back. And even if we were gazing each other with ignited emotions, we were probably just infatuated — I, with the smell of your organized thoughts, and you, with the brightness of my facade. You were wrapped in blue, and I was burned to ashes. We looked at each other for what seemed to be the last time, but we still didn’t do anything.

Pause. You are fire dancing to the rain, and I am a deep ocean. When you see me, you tame yourself, and I do the same. But a long time ago, I learned that the sea is in love with you, so I know that I will still walk away. And even if our eyes see that our shadows are soulmates, we still seem to be stopping ourselves. You are a structured chaos, and I let myself to be destroyed. I am an incoming storm that you probably don’t want to experience. We wave each other farewell — is this finally the last time? But the wind sings a sweet melody, although I still don’t know if she’s exaggerating.

(eusie.)

“you wrote that?” / “you asked me to.”

a.k.a. i’m in love with allen’s love for lu

*

i can feel it as it slowly decays                 this isn't love anymore                               last night, the sky was starless could the moon still be enough to light up the darkness?

**

i can feel you slowly drowning away     are you still in love?                      last night, i heard you crying could i still be enough to stop you from aching?

(eusie.)

Louis T., 2013. “Always” (p. 28, para. 9)

a.k.a. This is actually about the day after we got married

An aftertaste remains permanent on my tongue like the kiss stains on my hair. The curtains keep calling out for the sun to get out of the room, and you notice I do the same. But you still travel your fingers on my naked skin. The night before shines on your eyes and I already miss your moans. You get up and scare off the sunlight, scolding it that it’s hurting me. I hold out my hand and caress your shadow dancing on the bed sheet. I hear you whisper, “I’ll make breakfast.” You make your way to me and pass the stars on your lips to the skies deep down my throat. But you didn’t move at all after that. We keep on tracing the constellations on our mouths. The bed creaks loudly, but I can hear the smile forming on your face as you fix yourself beside me again. “Have me instead,” I mumble, then I grin. I’m happy. You’re happy. We’re blissfully staring at each other’s eyes, knowing that finally, we won. But today is another day, and so is tomorrow. There will be mountains to climb again, and I know we both need each other to keep our feet chained on the ground. I wouldn’t let you sail off without me. You wouldn’t let me drown without you. “I love you,” you sing to me. And I hum, “Always.”

(eusie.)